Camp Widow #1BillionLives

Camp Widow - Day 2 Saturday (Lois Day 4)

This is the story of my volunteer trip to Camp Widow in San Diego July 2022

Saturday is a very full and long day. 

It started with Coffee and Breakfast in the Foyer - awesome. 

Saturday is the day you start to see people mingling with the people they met along the way. Ambassadors continue to connect and watch for folks who might be having a tough time - there is a lot to take in and camp can be overwhelming. Some of the sessions can be really tough.

Then onto the keynote address. As a Regional Leader we got reserved seats in the front, what a treat. 

The keynote speaker was Matt Logelin. 

“Back by popular demand, join Soaring Spirits CEO Michele Neff Hernandez as she sits down with Matt Logelin – blogger, public speaker, charity founder, and author of Two Kisses for Maddy: A Memoir of Loss and Love, which was a New York Times best seller and the basis for the Netflix award-winning movie Parenthood starring Kevin Hart”

The keynote was presented as two friends chatting.  A great chat and great sharing on how two widowed people became friends through loss. A great keynote. I will definitely be checking out Matt’s writing. 

All during camp there is a breathing room open for quiet reflection. There are also massages to be had and therapy dogs to play with at the camp. The therapy dogs have their own trading cards - very cool. The dogs are super popular with the kids and the adults. I’m allergic so I skipped this part.  

The next session was the one I was most looking forward to was Melissa Gould. I saw  Melissa present at the Camp Widow Virtual and her session with journaling prompts was so helpful I wanted to do it again in person. I ended up assisting as the room monitor for this session last minute and got a couple of great pics with Melissa at the end of the session. Her book ‘Widowish’ is also on my list to read. I definitely recommend her sessions if you get a chance. Melissa’s take on journal prompts is something I use all the time now in my journaling. 

“Melissa Gould - Author, writer, and widow Melissa Gould will guide participants in a healing writing workshop that explores the unexpected realities of widowhood. Designed to enhance acceptance and exploration of what it means to be widowed, this workshop considers that we are not living the life we were expecting due to the loss of our person. Through short writing exercises, optional sharing, and personal storytelling, participants will examine the healing powers of journaling. This workshop will help to decrease feelings of isolation and increase feelings of empowerment. This will be a nourishing exercise for writers and non-writers alike.”

Next I attended a session called the  “Joyful Way Forward” by Sade Aryio “The loss of a spouse ranks as one of the most devastating events a person can endure. Chances are you may feel that joy is no longer on the table or an option anymore. This workshop will help you begin to make those steps back to a joyful life no matter the circumstances.” 

Sade is a regional leader who I spent zoom time with and also she is the diversity and Inclusion officer for SSI. I was excited to hear her tips on adding joy to your daily life.

Lunch on your own - a bunch of us went to the hotel restaurant and had lunch together, more laughing and chatting and connections. It was so good to connect in person. 

For the next session I attended “Dealing with Anger” by Wenny Lee. I met Wenny at Camp Widow Virtual and also became friends in a group for widows and widowers of GBM Brain Tumours. She wrote about her peloton journey in our group so she was part of why I wanted to try one. She did a great job with her session  and was so funny talking about how she dealt with so much anger losing her husband to GBM. She had some good tips and tricks for moving past some anger that kept arising during grief in unexpected ways and places. 

Next session was Cybersecurity, Hackers and Scammers and Trolls by Greg Roman, Greg had some useful information on things to watch for and how to protect yourself digitally and online given widowed people are highly vulnerable to attacks and phishing scams.

“There are a number of cyber related threats that affect the widowed community. The internet provides a valuable service, but also requires caution. These threats include stolen identity, ransomware, computer virus’, and social media disinformation and trolling. This workshop is taught by the CEO of a cybersecurity company. He is also active in the widowed community as Chairman of the Board, Soaring Spirits, a widower and remarried to another widowed person. This presentation covers some basic cyber hygiene techniques that you can use daily. We will discuss the most prevalent threats, how to recognize them, and how to prevent or mitigate being a victim.”  I volunteered to room monitor this session. 

There are some additional closed sessions I did not attend as they were reserved for widowed of a specific experience and  cover topics  such as widowed by suicide, widowed as a result of addiction and lgbtq+ finding your tribe. If you are looking for a widow for that then there really is one here to be found. 

There are a lot of session I am not even getting to, each block I attended had 3-4 other choices at the same time. There were sessions on dating, love after loss, creativity and many more. There were tough choices to make. 

Saturday Night Banquet - Old Hollywood Theme

Sometimes people are surprised to hear that there is a dinner and dancing at Camp Widow. 

“Attendance at the Soaring Spirits’ banquet is optional, but encouraged. As odd as a group of dancing widowed people may sound to the outside world, at camp we dance to honor our loves, and to celebrate the hard, healing work we’ve each done over just 48 hours.

The banquet is a semi-formal or formal event (depending on location) because many widowed people don’t have the chance to dress up after the death of their partner. That said, we want you to feel comfortable and welcome. So, wear something that makes you feel good. You are welcome to celebrate with us no matter what you wear!

We also offer a space in our self-care room for taking a break from the banquet. You can attend the dinner and memorial activity portion of the evening and then enjoy the activities of the self-care room during the dancing portion if a quieter atmosphere is a better fit for you.”

Old Hollywood theme - I was looking forward to this. I come from a theatre background so dressing up is something I love to do. I had a gown and gloves and did my hair, I didn’t travel with hair spray or bobby pins but was able to borrow from some friends. It was a lovely sit down dinner and then a tribute to your person. 

The tribute had us create a Hollywood walk of fame of our loved ones. Each person was given a square and asked to write their persons name on it and what they would be remembered for. We were also given a candle. We all lined up and each name was read aloud along with  what they were remembered for.  We walked and placed our star on the walk of fame. Lots of tears at this event. Each gala has a memorial and it is always truly touching, a great way to pay tribute to our person. There was a photo booth so we took pics and danced. There was a lot of pictures and dancing - so much fun getting dressed up and having a blast. I hadn’t danced the electric slide in a long time. I danced and danced and chatted with friends and new friends. 

At camp you have opportunity to have a tribute tile made and placed on the tribute wall. I didn’t do this the first year but this year I sent in a pic of Paul with our daughter and it was printed and placed on the wall, I got to keep my tile at the end. Another way to keep the memory alive and share hope with others of your journey. 

A very full day of learning, laughing, crying, dancing, eating and so much fun. Getting to be in the presence of other widowed people is truly a gift of hope. 

#1BillionLives #PlaytoWin #LifeWorks #SoaringSpiritsInternational #LongLiveLove #HopeMatters