Camp Erin: A Weekend of Grieving and Healing for Kids Dealing with Death

“Camp Anawanna, we hold you in our hearts. And when we think about you . . .” I was casually humming to myself as I drove up the scenic coast of Kona, Hawaii Friday afternoon, and looking for a welcome sign reading, “Camp Erin!” Another fantastic journey on this road called, “life” and the pursuit to an unexpected weekend in the green jungles of a volcanic island in the middle of the largest ocean.

The true beauty of joy I witnessed this weekend all originates from the generous last wishes of a terminally ill child that cared so much about the hearts and lives of her loved ones, and how they would cope with her imminent death. The Moyer Foundation was founded in her memory, and created a safe place where children and teens learn to grieve and heal the death of a significant person in their lives; “Camp Erin”. Now the largest national bereavement program, attendees are invited free of charge to a weekend of transformation through education, activities, and a lifetime of memories that always come with the joys of summer camp. 

Arriving late in the afternoon on Friday, I was prepared as most campers with a book bag, sleeping bag, and pillow ready for the weekend of fun through the eyes of a child. The Camp Director, Lynn greeted me warmly, and suggested we find me a bunk in one of the few “tiny” houses distinguished by color coding. I was given the top bunk bed in the “blue house”, and felt like I had just landed on a Summer Camp version of the “Real World”. Each room had about 6 adults from various backgrounds, ages, and purpose for being a part of Camp Erin, but everyone shared the same common interest in loving children, seeking to serve, and greeting each other with “aloha” love.

I was graciously added to the roster of volunteers through the fabulous team that works with Hospice of Kona. It’s through their organization that Camp Erin is put on year after year, and the passion to expand the community outreach to many young people here on the Big Island that have experienced the loss of a loved one. I learned of camp through, Laura, Hospice of Kona CEO, and her joy and excitement in introducing Camp Erin I immediately felt drawn to contribute, and find out how I could join. The word “volunteer” doesn’t sound fitting considering that the people that truly put this weekend together made everything appear to be seamless, and thoroughly planned out down to every minute. I would almost just have called myself an oversized “camper” that felt special to witness the beautiful moments, and memories embedded into these child’s lives forever. I think, “Thank you Lord for the gift of this weekend.”

The campers were assigned “Cabin Buddies”, and were separated by boys and girls in similar age brackets. For the volunteers from previous years, watching them prepare for the campers arrival was magical, they couldn’t wait to see all the smiling faces of kids as they got off the buses. The first activity was to make a picture frame for the picture of their lost loved one to bring to opening ceremony. As the kids started to come forward, I felt a shy nervousness just like many of the little faces I met. The children held their pictures delicately, and softly shared with one another the person they once knew. There was a gentle feeling of tranquility, as they used stickers, markers, and glue sticks to bring honor to each picture frame. As we finished up, we stood around and ate watermelon in abundance while everyone shared their past experience with Camp Erin, and each child inquisitive about the others in their tents.

Opening ceremonies gave everyone the opportunity to individually stand in the front of the room, and introduce the person they had lost, with words of love and affirmation. The children were brave and bold in giving honor to their lost mothers, fathers, grandparents, siblings, etc. These tiny people gave me a confidence to bring the picture I brought of a man I love and lost back in 2005, Michael. My Michael was a handsome man, so I had a lot of questions from the young girls about him, and who he was. Even after so many years, I felt a peace about lifting up his soul, and the ability to reconcile my thoughts and joy for having him in my life; just as these kids were all seeking to do.

What a blessing, huh?

Saturday morning couldn’t have been much greater, as I was given the elite responsibility of filling up water balloons for the afternoons, “Amazing Challenge”, which was set up by a very overgrown child, Joel, and his fantastic creation of various activities and games. Taking a step back, I watched as everyone took on a task, and joyously did their part in the land of fun. Seeing the happiness of the people around me, I saw the love of Jesus present, even though it’s not a camp promoted through the Christian Faith, He was there.

During the day, the kids had many workshops that were set up for grieving, and letting go. Here are a few:

·        Love Lights – Closing ceremony where they get to release their lights into water

·        Throw & Let Go – Writing on plates/dishes what they want to “throw and let go” and smashing, and shattering the dishware to pieces

·        Kintsugi Succulent – Breaking little vases, and gluing them back together with gold glue to show the beauty in something that has been broken and being healed/repaired

·        Letters to Heaven – Writing to their loved ones

It’s a different experience for the volunteers that aren’t assigned to tents with campers. Of course, we all sleep much better, which feels a bit selfish, not to mention the evenings were chilly. Although, the connections you could see between the kids and their adult volunteers were genuine, as they spent a lot of time with each other sharing in-depth their personal story about what brought them to camp. By the end of Saturday, everyone seems to have come out of their shell, and the fellowship was surreal.

The last night, during the Love Light Ceremony, I stood back outside. You could feel the Spirit of the Lord present in the darkness, and the only lights coming from candles in the small pop up tent filled with campers. I looked up into the sky, and it was silent, as in black and starless. I prayed. I asked Father God to open the skies, show His glorious stars, and bless each and every life that I was witnessing. I stood and watched as a young girl carefully placed her “love light” into the pool of water, and read the word, “Mom”. I was overwhelmed with sadness, as I knew this girl would be forced into the world without the gift of a Maternal Leader, and role model for life’s needs that we can only get from a mother. I asked the Lord to shower this girl with love in abundance, as she accepts this cross to bear, and given a life peace and joy. I looked up, and smiled, as I saw the heavens open and a single star shining down. 

I spoke with a camper turned volunteer, Aquelina, as she shared her testimony of being a first time camper only a few years ago after losing her mother. She told me how much she initially resented the sad music that played during the ceremony, as she was brought to face her feelings, but came to see how that moment changed her, and allowed her to release what she was internally fighting in dealing with her mother’s loss. I told her how I had been praying, and asked the Lord to show us His glory in the sky; she looked up, and saw the bright star that shined right over us. She believed. I felt the love that came from this still very young girl, and showed her the grace of God by allowing her to be a mentor to the young girls experiencing the same loss, and how she has made a difference in lives through volunteering this weekend.

I looked up as I listened to the sounds of grieving children, and their cries that overpowered the music. Their voices lifted up to the heavens; I prayed. The sky had opened, and I saw the stunning view of plentiful stars shining brightly, and I rejoiced in the Lord; He is always with us.

“Delight yourself also in the LORD,

And He shall give you the desires of your

heart.”

Psalm 37:4

Jesus taught us that we are to wash one another’s feet, as He came to serve and not be served, and therefore we must serve one another. The commandment was given to love thy neighbor as thyself, and by doing so, it’s showing our love and delight in the LORD suggest in Psalm 37:4. There is euphoria in being in the presence of 80 busy adults that have put their life and commitments to the side, and come together to surround 50 grieving children with a fun place to share their individual story. Witnessing the “agape” love resonating throughout the camp enlightened my mind to feel a fulfillment of the desires of my heart in seeing God’s hand on all present during the short weekend.

Sunday morning, there was a sort of lull as everyone realized that the fantasy of a whirlwind weekend was coming to an end. I walked around and gave some fist bumps to the kids I had connected with, as we decided to give ourselves “DJ names”, mine is “DJ Killa Kels” (which was the DJ name I gave myself at 16 years old). 

To me, the experience was just camp, they were just kids, and I was just a large child. I forgot the commonality that brought these little people together, and the pain that death had caused them. They were kids that came together as kids do, and supported one another, as kids do. I saw laughter, smiles, and hugs all around. I saw summer camp, as it’s meant to be; filled with love and imagination here on the side of a volcano in paradise known as Hawaii. It’s a land of healing, that comes from the people, and passing forward the “aloha” blessings of giving and “mahalo” (thanks). I left camp feeling refreshed in my own soul, and prayed that each little camper would continue on their life path knowing that God has greater plans for their lives, and asked Him to bless their loved ones in their life after death as well.

Camp Erin is such a fantastic blessing, and so well done. The professionalism, and sense of healing is profound, and I give all the people associated “kudos” for creating such a safe and positive environment for bereavement. Undoubtedly, this foundation changes thousands of lives forever. 

If you know a child that recently has experienced a loss of a loved one, reach out to the Moyer Foundation, they have camps all over the United States. If you don’t have access to a Camp Erin, bring one to your community, and make a difference!

Remember to love the Lord, as He first loved us, and therefore, love one another as He commands us to . . . I love you too!

7/7/18