Calmness is the Cradle of Power

At this time of year when we take or are returning from a New Year break with our family and friends, we are reminded that nearly everything “can wait”. We get back to the office which is usually in a similar way that we left it. We might ask various people to “hold the fort,” but things rarely fall apart because we are relaxing somewhere.

I’m not suggesting that such a state of affairs can continue throughout the year, our productivity would fall otherwise. However, it simply shows that we often have more time than we realise to accomplish our tasks. I personally believe that there is much value in keeping calm and being patient with the challenges that come along – rushing headlong into the madness is rarely the best approach. Interpersonal relationships also benefit greatly from remaining calm – both from the point of view of giving others time and space to do their best and also asking them to be patient when you need to work things through.

For me, there are two key aspects of how practicing patience can transform our lives. Firstly, there are immediate benefits when we integrate it into our everyday attitudes – being patient can make a difference to you even as you are reading these words. The second aspect is a little more intangible. “Strategic patience” means sleeping on something for a night, a week or even a month – giving ourselves and others time to come to the optimal solution.

Calmness and patience are states of mind that I have personally sought to cultivate through my life. I find that when you approach matters in a calm and steady way, decisions are far easier to make. You might see a decision on the horizon, but rather than sprinting towards it, you let it come towards you at its own pace. You never know what else life might throw into your path, and if you are moving at a sprint, you might not always be able to react appropriately. If you let this attitude govern how you deal with things, it doesn’t matter how big the decision is, your experience of the wait being “worth it” will mean that you won’t have your eyes on the clock. When decisions are ready to be made, then the time is right.

Strategic patience feels different, but it is no less important. While the everyday version means that you are parking current issues to wait for the resolution to form, strategic patience often means that you have to allow matters to simmer indefinitely to give the stars a chance to align. If people understand that you value making the right decisions at the right time, they will not be pushed into drawing premature conclusions. On the other hand, if people feel under relentless pressure to deliver immediate results, it greatly reduces their chances of ultimate success.

When you are prepared to wait for a conclusion to coalesce, there is far more opportunity to listen to the opinions of others (or even wait for them while they make up their minds). It is rarely the case that we have all the answers immediately, and much of strategic patience is an exercise in sourcing the relevant pieces of the puzzle from those around us, with whomever they may lie, and whenever they might appear.

Calmness and patience are two sides of the same coin. If you are rushing to complete a project, it is rare that you get to the final stage without the odd loose end. At this point many would quote Pareto principle (also known as the 80/20 rule), saying that as long as 20% of the work has been completed, the job will be 80% done. However, if you are striving for excellence, there are so many extra avenues that can appear in that last 80% of your efforts, even if the potential returns are theoretically diminishing.

For those who believe that good enough is ok, the “patient crowd” are not so easy to understand. Sometimes patience can come across as perfectionism, and there is nothing more excruciating if you are the type of person to want things done yesterday. However, if someone looks behind the reasons for this more careful approach, it is not hard to see the genuine pursuit of excellence that lies behind it. For the impatient among us, it is often the case that curiosity leads to waiting that little bit longer than normal – then when the resultant benefits materialise, the seeds of change are sown.

It is interesting that most of the strongest relationships that I have in my professional and personal lives have been “slow burners” initially. Giving each other ample time to work out where you stand and how you can add value to each other is the perfect platform for a long-term partnership. This entails a significant investment of time upfront, much of which might not be spent maximally productively, but once you have a solid mutual understanding, you can build on solid foundations and the sky is the limit!

The thing about patience is that you never quite know when it might pay off. You also have to be open to the fact that sometimes it won’t pay off, but that should not stop you waiting just as long next time. Some roads simply come to a natural dead end, but you won’t have to reverse for long to find an alternate route. Sometimes patience also means being willing to retrace your steps for a while. Just like a good fisherman enjoys the experience of fishing, whether they catch fish or they don't. You can have a great day fishing and catch nothing. We should aspire to lead our lives with the same lack of anxiety.

The best things definitely come to those who wait, and if you aim to surround yourself with like-minded people, the rewards are even greater.