Beginning about mid-November until whenever we allow ourselves to pause at the end of December can be a blur.? We’re juggling what seems like a thousand balls in the air.
?At work it’s scrambling to meet year-end goals, finalizing plans for next year, trying our best to avoid last minute fire drills.? Then there’s the hustle to get holiday gifts, parties, celebrations with our families, school activities, travel, shopping, wrapping, cooking, baking….
?It can feel overwhelming and out of control.? We can lose ourselves in all the craziness.? We can feel stressed, anxious, reactive.? What we see in the mirror (if we give ourselves the opportunity to look) isn’t our favorite selves.
Yet we each have so much more control over how we want to live and how we want to feel than we often realize.? By taking a few small actions, we can ease the pressure.?
- ?Focus on what’s most important.? We can accomplish anything, yet we can’t accomplish everything.? While it all may feel equally important, try taking a few moments to sit back and consider what is truly most important to you.?
Try letting go of needing to get everything done by year end.? Some things can absolutely wait; we can re-define what is “urgent.”? Research shows that, while missing a deadline is important, you don’t get bonus points for finishing early, and you may actually perform better and accomplish more by giving yourself more time.?
(1) What’s most important? -- where do I really want to put my best effort? Or, what requires my direct attention?
(2) What’s important, yet I can put in less effort and be good enough or I can get help from someone else? and
(3) What can I let go of – either not do at all or do later??
- ?Ask for help.? This one can be very difficult, particularly for high-achieving people who pride themselves on self-reliance.? Consider how gratifying it can feel when someone comes to you with vulnerability and a sincere request for your assistance.? By asking for someone else’s help, you’re giving them the opportunity to feel needed and valued.? Sharing your vulnerability and need for support helps you connect with them on a different level, and by sharing in the work, you can make the work more enjoyable.?
- ?Give yourself a break.? Schedule moments in your day to pause and take a break.? Trust that you won’t lose momentum. Along with reducing stress, frequent breaks help us restore energy and focus to maintain and even improve performance throughout the day.? Breaks diminish that feeling of exhaustion and need for recovery at the end of the day and increase energy levels over time.?
?You’ll get bonus points by using that break time to chat with a friend or colleague. You’ll help nourish your human need for connection and enhance the feeling of recovery.
- ?Don’t invite your inner judge to the party.? This one is for us perfectionists:? So many of us have that part that consistently and loudly points out all we need to do to meet some standard we’ve set to be “good enough.”? That part may have helped us achieve, yet it’s not serving us now.? Tell it, “Thanks, but I’ve got this.”? We don’t have to overachieve to be accepted.? We don’t need to please everyone to be a good person. We don’t need to go above and beyond – we can let go of some of it.? Really.
- ?While we’re letting go, let go of expectations.? We acquire expectations along the way (and our inner judges remind us of them all the time).? Instead, set intentions.? Think about what you value, what’s most important to you and write it down.? Instead of “I need to get all of this done by year-end,” try “I want to meet my commitments AND have the mental well-being and energy to enjoy my work, my family, and my friends.”
- ?Lighten up.? All the pressure can cause us to take it all too seriously.? We can care deeply about things, yet also be able to laugh easily and find joy.? We all know how good it feels to laugh really hard.? When we laugh, we experience a decrease in cortisol and an increase in the feel-good hormones like dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins.? Play, joy and laughter also fuel our imagination, creativity, and problem-solving abilities, helping us burn through that to do list.?
Taking some simple steps, we can find the agency to accomplish the most essential things and experience true peace and joy during the holiday season and throughout the year.
