Calming Self-Doubt and Inner Critic

Thoughts of self-doubt feel very personal and may even be something that is sitting dormant waiting to emerge.

For mentoring clients who raise these issues their self-imposed pressure is ever present. Will they be good enough? Will they be found out? Will they have the needed authority or power? Will the next role or?assignment be the one that brings them undone?

Nearly all of us have felt anxious or heard the voice of our inner critic during our careers at one time or another. It can be after a promotion, moving into new job, entering a new workplace or taking on a first board role. For some, the feelings of anxiety are temporary and dissipate as one finds their feet. In other words, they are a sign that you are stretching your capabilities.

It is not unusual to feel powerful in some situations and powerless in others. In reality, we take up power and influence as a managerial leader in many different ways. Think of the 'power-to' of adaptive leadership, or the 'power-with' of cross-silo collaboration, or the nurturing of 'power-within' through mentoring / coaching cultures.

For some, like one of my coaching clients, ‘feeling like a fraud’ was turned into an advantage in that it helped him to think more deeply about his ideas and strategies, to seek others viewpoints, implement differently and learn about what is possible and what is not.

Then there are those for whom these thoughts linger and it starts to impact performance, work style and career choices.

Certain characteristics may come into play:

• perfectionism
• working hard and pushing to achieve
• want results to be effortless as it signals natural talent
• independent to the extent they avoid asking for help
• discount achievements and praise
• believe their knowledge and experience is not enough.

In order to change direction, you need to stop. Use the ‘pause’ or ‘freeze frame’ to find the still point of the corporate dance, to notice what is really happening from the balcony.

Then develop?solutions that fit the personal context, power-dynamic and environment. This can include:

• assess the origins of those thoughts
• understand self-efficacy and locus of control beliefs
• identify which thoughts (fear and failure) can be normalised
• develop a better understanding of how to achieve and perform in roles
• consider how the organisational culture or environment has an impact
• know when ‘good enough’ is the right degree of perfectionism
• rethink strategies to be more resilient
• turn self-talk or inner dialogue of self-doubt into an asset, and reframe and design?a balanced capability narrative.

In this excellent piece Quieting The Inner Critic (IMD magazine) by Professors Amanda Sinclair and Alyson Meister they suggest four strategies:

• know that it’s (likely) about the context, not about you
• revisit the birth of the critic
• recognise that your internal critic is just a bundle of thoughts, not the truth or reality
• be yourself lightly

They wisely conclude:

In times of stress our internal critics often amplify. It’s important to recognise this, and instead of listening to – or believing – that harsh voice, expand your repertoire and replace it with one that speaks with more insight and self-compassion.

USING A DIFFERENT 'EXECUTIVE MIRROR' CAN BE COMFORTING.

RELATED ARTICLES AND READING LISTS on thetalentadvisors.com

MENTORING FOR A CHANGE Mentor-Coach Conversation | How are you navigating towards the next level? What are the risks you need to counter? How can you be better prepared?

FOR THE CROSSROADS Mentor-Coach Conversation | While performance counts and the right performance counts even more, technical and functional expertise is not enough when facing the career crossroads.

NEW TO A ROLE? HAVE A COACHING PLAN Mentor-Coach Conversation | New to a role? It is difficult to recover from a poor start. A more strategic and integrated approach means a new leader can avoid these typical mistakes.

SHAPE A PORTFOLIO CAREER AS A DIRECTOR Mentor-Coach Conversation | As you start to plan your NED portfolio career here is some tried and true advice to start the journey. Like most transitions, it takes time and planning as the move often unfolds differently to what you first imagined.

EXECUTIVES NEED TO STAY RELEVANT Mentor-Coach Conversation | How do you make sure you are better prepared for the next level? Without the ability to leverage change into a source of advantage, individual and technical skills are all but temporal. A lack of future relevancy is a key career risk for executives.

BEFORE CHANGING JOBS: QUESTIONS YOU MUST ASK Mentor-Coach Conversation | Your career is significant professional and personal capital. Searching for a new job creates dilemmas, as all new roles come with risk. When under pressure – real or self-imposed – not asking the key questions is a mistake.

SUGGESTED READING LISTS ON LEADERSHIP These book choices will challenge certainties and gently nudge us into rethinking what we thought we knew.

EVERY EXECUTIVE NEEDS A TRUSTED SOUNDING BOARD

“How do I choose a mentor-coach and what should I look for?" is a natural question. Look for someone who is compatible, but has enough of a contrast to bring new perspectives. Someone who has the expertise you would need to work through the 'how' and the 'why'; that you could trust and respect. You would want a good listener and someone who has your interests at heart to the extent that they will encourage a frank dialogue on both sides and support you through the changes that will need to be made.”- Dianne Jacobs

This article is part of our Insights For Action series. Join the mailing list to receive this and more.

Discover how to get On Boards or Next Level

With a range of clients nationally and internationally, we work 1:1 or together; in person or virtually. We are based in Melbourne, Australia. Some time zones are friendlier than others, but that’s ok as we can always find a time that is mutually convenient.