Calm in the Chaos: Day #7 Create Boundaries
Amy Wilkinson
Shaking things up in the Food industry by helping foodies to be more confident and speak up | Fearless Foodies ?? Founder | Oh for Food's Sake Podcast Host | Championing Women in Food
This is a biggy – if you’re a people pleaser like me, it can be the biggest energy zap and cause for a mental wobble in tough times. If you find it hard to say ‘no’, worry what people think about you and aren’t strict with what you will and wont tolerate from other people – you are not alone!
Boundaries are particularly important at the moment while a lot of us are working from home, using the same tech and video conferencing for work and social events - the boundaries between the two become blurred.
There are whole books on this subject (I can recommend Jayne Hardy's 'Creating Space' )but a few thoughts from me:
?? Working from home boundaries – a lot of us are ‘WFH’ at the moment. It is uber important to put in boundaries about the hours you will work, the space you work and allow yourself the time to switch. Do you really need to respond to that email late at night – and if you do it, what message does it send others about whether they can contact you late next time?
? Prioritise your time – when meetings switched to digital, we thought there would be less of them right?! Now it feels like we are in more! Really ask yourself if you have to go to all the meetings (or Zoom drinks parties) or whether you could politely decline and make space for something more productive (or in fact, for rest!)
?? Digital Boundaries – For a lot of people phone / device addiction is a real thing (me included). So, setting boundaries for yourself can look like – switching off notifications, use time limiter apps that only allow social media use at certain times or put your phone out of reach.
Boundaries are about how you treat yourself and the messages you give to others around you about how you want to be treated. They are about conserving your emotional, mental and physical energy. If you say ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no’ this can lead to anger, resentment and apathy. I have focused on the physical boundaries related to work in this article but its important in every area of your life.
When you respect your own and others boundaries, it can have such a positive effect on your ability to keep calm in the chaos.