On Calling a Meeting: A Matter of Hospitality and Honor

Now, friend, calling a meeting is no small thing. You are, in essence, asking for a piece of people’s lives—a slice of time they will never get back. And if you do not treat that request with the gravity it deserves, you will soon find that folks attend your meetings the way they attend jury duty: reluctantly, resentfully, and looking for any excuse to escape.

A meeting should not be a routine obligation, nor a vague gesture at productivity. It should be a gathering with purpose, a table set with care, an act of hospitality. The people who attend should feel not only that they were needed but that their presence mattered, that they left with more than they came in with.

So if you must call a meeting, do it well.

Step One: Know Why You’re Calling It

Before you send a single invitation, ask yourself:

• What is the purpose of this meeting? If you cannot explain it in a single clear sentence, you do not yet have a meeting—you have a vague idea and a need for clarity.
• What decision needs to be made? If there is no decision, no action, and no progress to be had, then what you need is an email, not a meeting.
• Who truly needs to be here? Not “who might be interested,” not “who might have an opinion,” but who is essential to the conversation. If someone is not essential, do them the kindness of leaving them out. Nothing earns more goodwill than the invitation not sent.

Step Two: Set the Table

A meeting is a meal of the mind, and like any good host, you must prepare the space before your guests arrive. That means:

• Send an agenda in advance. Not a vague notion, not a list of topics so broad they could mean anything, but a structured outline:What we are here to solve.What information we will review.What decisions we need to make.What we expect to walk away with.
• Set expectations for participation. If someone is here to contribute, they should know that before they walk in the door. If they are here to listen, that is fine—but let them know so they do not spend the meeting trying to guess whether they should be speaking.

Step Three: Lead with Purpose

When the meeting begins, do not waste time clearing your throat and wandering through pleasantries. A good host welcomes guests warmly but gets to the meal before the food goes cold.

Start with clarity:

• “We are here to decide [X].”
• “By the end of this meeting, we will have [outcome].”
• “Let’s make good use of our time and get started.”

Do not allow the meeting to drift into the dangerous waters of aimless discussion. Guide it. If conversation strays, steer it back. If someone speaks too long, remind them gently but firmly that the goal is progress.

Step Four: Close the Right Way

A meeting should not fade out like a song played too softly. It should end with clarity and purpose, with every attendee knowing what happens next. That means:

• Summarize the key decisions. No meeting should end with “I think we agreed on…” We either did or we didn’t.
• Assign clear next steps. Who is doing what, and by when? If no one owns it, it is not a next step—it is a wish.
• Thank people for their time. This is not a formality. If people have given you an hour of their lives, acknowledge it. Let them know their time was valued, so that next time you call a meeting, they come willingly, not warily.

Step Five: Earn the Right to Call Another One

A well-run meeting builds trust. A poorly run meeting erodes it. If people leave feeling their time was wasted, they will hesitate to give it to you again. But if they leave feeling they were part of something meaningful—something efficient, something necessary—then the next time you call, they will come.

So be a good host. Honor the time people give you. Call only the meetings that need to be called. Keep them as short as they can be, and as valuable as they must be. And when the work is done, let people go—so they can get back to doing the very things that made you invite them in the first place.

??? This article is part of The Deductionists—a series uncovering the truth behind everyday life through observation, interrogation, forensics, and linguistics, as told through the lens of brilliant minds, both past and present.