Called by God to Lead: Answering God's Invitation to Serve

When Leadership Doesn't Go as Planned: A Journey from Expectation to Godly Leadership

Leadership. It’s a word that carries so much weight, and yet we often try to carry it on our shoulders with our own understanding. In my own journey as a leader, I’ve poured my heart and soul into those I have led. My leadership was deeply rooted in compassion, mentorship, love, and understanding. I wanted to be the change I wished to see in the world, especially after experiencing the kind of leadership that broke me in the past, stripped me of my identity, and made me lose my self-worth. I made a vow to myself that I would never become the kind of leader who would break others. I knew the power of leadership and the impact it could have either to build or to tear down.

But my expectations didn’t meet reality. I had envisioned my leadership style to bring about change, respect, and transformation. Instead, I found myself hurt by the lack of the desired response from those I led. I learned the hard way that we cannot control how people respond, because everyone’s experiences and life factors are unique.

The Cost of Compassionate Leadership Without Boundaries

My leadership style was one of self-defined compassion, love, understanding, mentorship, and humility. I treated those I led as equals and opened the door to friendship, breaking down the traditional hierarchy. My hope was to foster an environment where people felt valued and empowered.

However, this lack of boundaries led to unintended consequences. The blurred lines between leadership and friendship created an atmosphere of ambiguity. The results were disrespect, a lack of accountability, and the loss of regard for my voice and direction. Instead of mutual respect, my openness was met with disregard. The leadership style I thought would elevate and empower those around me backfired.

It was in these moments of failure that I realized the harsh truth: I was teaching people how to treat me. My boundaries were too fluid, and my vision of compassionate leadership led to a loss of authority and respect. The response to my style of leadership was not what I had envisioned.

In my frustration, I shifted. I shut down my emotive side and became a "by-the-book" manager, someone who led without showing compassion. I adhered strictly to the guidelines and left my humanity at the door, thinking this was what people wanted; someone "in charge." But this shift left me empty, without purpose, and far from the leader I wanted to be.

God's Call to Leadership: A New Perspective

But then, God called me to lead again in the church. Everything I had learned and started mastering, all the walls I had built up, were tested and torn down. God’s virtues of leadership stood in stark contrast to what I had adopted. He was calling me to lead with love, patience, compassion, and assertiveness in ways I had not fully understood.

1. Love: I had tried leading with love before, and it backfired. But God’s love is different—it is unconditional and seeks the best for others, even when it is not reciprocated. "Love is patient, love is kind... it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
2. Patience: I thought patience led to a lack of accountability, but God's patience calls us to wait on His timing, knowing He is working in the hearts of those we lead. "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love" (Ephesians 4:2).
3. Compassion: Compassion, I feared, made me look weak, but Christ’s compassion is what drew people to Him. It is the willingness to walk with people in their brokenness while pointing them to healing. "When He saw the crowds, He had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd" (Matthew 9:36).
4. Assertiveness: I had once been confronted for being "abusive" when I tried to hold someone accountable, but true assertiveness is about speaking truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), standing firm while maintaining respect for others.

God was showing me that leadership is servitude. It is not about dominance or power, but about serving others, putting ourselves last, and being consistent in humility, just as Christ led.

Godly Leadership: Traits We Must Embrace

In reflecting on this journey, I realized there are other vital traits we must incorporate into our leadership. These traits align with God’s heart and purpose for us as leaders:

1. Integrity: Leadership demands honesty and transparency. Our actions must consistently reflect the truth we stand for. Integrity builds trust, and trust is the foundation of effective leadership. "The integrity of the upright guides them" (Proverbs 11:3).
2. Wisdom: Godly leadership requires divine wisdom. We cannot rely on our own understanding but must seek God's guidance in every decision. "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all" (James 1:5).
3. Resilience: The path of leadership is full of trials, but resilience is essential. We must persevere through difficulty, trusting that God will give us strength. "Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" (Galatians 6:9).
4. Grace: As leaders, we must extend grace to those we lead, understanding that everyone is a work in progress. Grace fosters growth and creates an environment where people feel safe to learn and evolve. "Bear with each other and forgive one another" (Colossians 3:13).
5. Vision: A leader must be able to see beyond the present challenges and cast a vision for the future that aligns with God's purpose. "Where there is no vision, the people perish" (Proverbs 29:18).
6. Humility in Learning: We must remain teachable as leaders. No one has all the answers, and humility allows us to grow through learning from others. "Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted" (Matthew 23:12).
7. Courage: True leadership takes courage—courage to stand firm in our faith and values, even when it’s unpopular. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:9).

This journey has shown me that leadership requires a deep reliance on God’s guidance. It’s about surrendering our own expectations and trusting that, as we lead with His virtues, the impact we make is far more lasting than anything we could achieve on our own.

Leadership as a Calling to Serve

Leadership is a test of character. It is stepping into the shoes of those who came before us, like Moses leading the Israelites through the wilderness. It requires sacrifice, humility, and a servant's heart. Leadership is not about lording over others, but about serving them, guiding them, and remaining consistent in the face of their acceptance or resistance.

In the end, I am grateful that God called me into leadership. I almost lost myself believing that the Godly way of leading wouldn’t work in the workplace. But leading in the church has reminded me that leadership is servitude. We are called to be shepherds, to serve, and to remain humble, even when it seems easier to lead through control.

God’s way of leading doesn’t change with circumstances, and it certainly doesn’t conform to the world’s standards. We are to remain steadfast in our calling, whether we lead in the church, in the workplace, or in our communities. Leadership is about serving with love, integrity, wisdom, and humility. And most importantly, it’s about leading in a way that honors God.

A Thank You to My Pastors

Thank you to my pastors Brett and Rene' Mason for believing in me and entrusting me with the opportunity to lead. Your leadership has been a cornerstone in my journey, offering guidance and mentorship that has shaped not only my growth as a leader but my understanding of what true, God-centered leadership means. You’ve shown me that leadership is not just about authority, but about service, humility, and unwavering trust in God’s purpose.

The space you created for me to step into this role has been a gift; one where I’ve been able to learn, stumble, and rise again, all while anchored in God’s teachings. Your trust and encouragement have empowered me to see beyond the worldly definitions of leadership and to embrace the calling to lead with grace, compassion, and faith again. I am forever grateful for the belief you’ve placed in me, and for the continuous example of leadership you embody.

Looking Ahead

Leadership is a continuous journey, one filled with lessons, challenges, and growth. As I reflect on the path I’ve walked, I am excited to see the leader God is shaping me to become. Each day, I strive to be the kind of leader He has called me to be: serving, compassionate, and grounded in His truth. And I look forward to the ways God will continue to refine and use me to lead others, all for His glory.