California Dreamin’... Or why your Digital Platform will die!

I’m willing to bet that every single reader of this post here in India would have experienced a disillusioning moment of truth (or many) with our favourite digital platforms: be it social media, food delivery, grocery, services, …

It is by now abundantly clear that these folks do not know how to scale up while maintaining the same early promise and sparkle they showed in increasing convenience and reducing friction for the customer.

In my considered view, there is a systemic issue here which goes much beyond operational logistics: moral hazard, and ethical psychopathy.

Haresh’s article here is an excellent explainer of the issue of moral hazard.?

What’s coming into public knowledge about Amazon and Facebook’s fault lines are only the tip of the iceberg.

Perhaps Theranos is a better example of the iceberg of ethical psychopathy.

Why ‘psychopathy’, and not just simple errors attributable to a learning-curve?

Well, when you think about the pointers listed below - you too will, like me, come to the inevitable conclusion that these ‘errors’ are actually quite deliberate, and have been ingeniously designed into their UI and UX. Their Founders, and perhaps Funders too, are deeply involved in these Machiavellian “designs” of their offerings.

Here are some early warning signs of presence of this ethical psychopathy in your favourite platforms:

1.????Platform is designed to make it difficult for you to get your problem resolved with ease.?

?This includes, but is not limited to: difficult to locate customer service link, a limited dropdown list of issues that invariably does not have your problem listed (unless you want to believe that they could never ‘Delay/ Send the wrong item/ Short Supply/ Send you bad quality stuff/ Breakage/ …)

2.????There is no Customer Service Number to call. Or, call and wait a long time to then deal with a lengthy IVR that will invariably throw you out a few times. Then, if lucky, deal with an Agent who will put you on hold to retrieve your data, and then transfer you to the sound of a phone ringing, ultimately for the call to drop.

3.????Create ‘lies’ in their list of heads/ issues - so that the real issue never gets captured. Item missing from your delivery? - is ‘Returned by customer’ - no matter if THAT was the very thing for which you had ordered in the first place, and added other stuff to make-up the minimum order amount. This particular category of deliberate lies - is ingenious and endless. They do everything to ensure that their operations look clean and faultless (To whom, you might ask. What’s the point? Interestingly, there-in lies the answer!)

4.????It is very difficult to find quickly what you are looking for, in spite of keying-in a very specific search. Either too many sponsored products in the search list, or product present but not in the specific SKU/ quantity that you need.

5.????They make you do a full scale project because of your persistence in wanting to get a problem rectified. Share picture. Picture file size too large. etc.

I know there’s a very tempting template precedent we’ve provided : ATM line lagao, Thali bajao, Diya jalao, OTP enter karo…, but still!…?

6. They just cancel on you after telling you for a week that your order is being processed.????

The act of all this detailing is making me sick… some experiences are better forgotten.

It’s too much of a task to capture all their twisted practices! I can’t live through them again just for the sake of capturing it for you! You learn all this on your own, please. I’m outta’ here!

?So let me just say “Ab aagey kya likhey, aap khud samajhdaar hain”! (Now what more do I need say, you are yourself very wise) - harking back to the non-digital time when your post card space or patience to write ran out!

?Let's just cut to the chase.

?Why are they doing this?

For the same reason that the Theranos founder wore turtlenecks, and spoke in a bass voice.

?Funding.

?And then, IPO.

?You gotta’ have the numbers lined-up.

?That’s where the gold is, not with the customer.

?Poor you.

?You’re only an unavoidable nuisance in their California Dreamin’.

?Btw, reading about the California Gold Rush - makes for interesting reading even today.

?In fact your favourite wear today - your Jeans - became mainstream because of it.

?Welcome to Hotel California, though!

In the post Covid world, maybe I will go back to the physical retailer. Or, hopefully, all the digital platform founders' California dreams will come true soon - so that they can go back to making the customer experience convenient and frictionless again.