Cabin Class Disorientation

For those of you who travel long-haul, you might have noticed the seat-shaped deception tucked somewhere between Economy and Business. It’s called Premium Economy, and it’s a trick. Don’t let the name fool you. This is pure cabin class disorientation.

Firstly, it’s designed to upsell those back-end flyers - the ones who have enough aspiration to fly in a higher class, but not enough money to actually do it. “Oh my, we don’t fly Economy anymore, we fly Premium.” Problem solved, quel rise!

And, secondly, it’s an unsavoury middle-ground for business travellers on the battlefield of budgets. Business too expensive, Economy a travesty. Premium Economy, then, proffers a fair resolution.

Only here’s the catch: it’s really more Economy than Premium. If you stick racing stripes on a rusty old car, it’s still a rusty old car. Anyone, then, booking ‘compromise class’ has only succeeding in paying more to arrive just as lagged as if they were sat a few rows behind. Restfulness, it turns out, is not found in a few extra inches.

Indeed, ‘compromise class’ fails to deliver the most sought-after in-flight luxury: sleep. Sleep, as you’ll know from every night not spent on a plane, requires a certain level of horizontality to work. The additional degrees of upright recline are of no practical help – instead contorting the seat into a sort of ergonomically awkward slide, determined to offload its human cargo onto the floor at any moment. The footrest and seatbelt must conspire to prevent this occurrence.

Fear not though, for we have a solution (parking commercial imperatives.) Rather than have a better Economy, we challenge an airline to offer a lesser Business. With a Lower Business fare, a traveller pays only for the bed, none of the pseudo-patronising service, and simple food from the same cart as the rear. More shut-eye, less rib-eye.

There’s a compromise worth paying for.