The "C" word

Many of us dread Change. Or it, at least, makes us anxious.

Change is Different.

Change and Different are Unknown.

Unknown is Scary.

Fear of Change, Different and the Unknown is most common when it's forced upon us. In the workplace for example.

I experienced restructures every 6-18 months during my 20-year Financial Services career. Every 6-18 months wondering whether I'd proven myself enough, taken on enough extra responsibility, worked hard enough, worked long enough, delivered enough benefit to survive another round of redundancies, efficiency cuts, remodelling, profile form selection processes.

So, I'm only too aware of all the emotions work change can have - before the change, during the change and after the change. There's definitely an abundance of lingering Insecurity and Fear.

... and as a wisdomous green fellow once said "Puny Human!". Wait, not that green guy!

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." -Yoda-

There’s an article and hard truth in those words alone; but that’s for another day.

Back to change.

Despite any fear, insecurity or anxiousness, there’s actually Comfort to be found in our less than excited reaction to change. You see it's not a personal flaw, defect or weakness – as some would have you believe. Rather than a cut and dry case for working on your Resilience and Flexibility (still worth doing by the way) ... it's important to understand that as human beings - for that is what we are - we are conditioned to Fear the Unknown and what's Different. Honestly. It's true.

Our brains automatically react this way to keep us Safe. The unknown could be a poisonous berry. Change could be a new dark cave with a killer sabre-toothed tiger in it. This stuff is important. It keeps us alive. It draws our attention to the Familiar. The Familiar, no matter how dull, tedious or squalid hasn't killed us and, therefore, is Safe. It's pretty clever really and we should definitely Thank our brains for its diligent work on keeping us Safe. Go ahead; Thank it right now.

So, with our Thanks in abundance and a new-found understanding of our reaction to change, maybe we can relax a little. Well, yes ... although in true Financial Services style our in-built safety feature does comes with a caveat, some small print.

Caveat: I can't distinguish between a dark cave with a killer sabre-toothed 
        tiger inside and merely doing something different.

Ah. That seems quite important!

Well, important yes, but it's okay; all is not lost.

We just need to help things along.

Here's the reality ...

Change is only "Different"

Different is neither positive nor negative.

To make an informed emotional and rational evaluation of the thing that is different we require … Experience.

Take a road that forks left and right. You always travel right, yet you know they both have the same destination. One day your familiar right road is closed. Oh no! Cue fear, anxiety, insecurity. You need to take the left road! Different road. Different scenery. Different route.

As it turns out, it’s a slightly longer journey but a far more picturesque route. You look out onto rolling hills, ancient trees, fields of bright yellow crops and at this time of day the orange glow of the setting sun makes this a truly magical place to be. 

Your destination remained the same, but your experience has been different. Maybe after your experience you'll decide to take the longer, picturesque route more often. Without that road closure, however, you’d never have known, because you were drawn to the familiar – a habit, a routine. I wonder what it might have taken for you to have travelled that left route, without the road closure …

So, are we saying that Change could actually be (shock horror!) Positive? Well, I can’t resist any longer, of course we are, Yes. Change can be Exciting, Motivating, Inspiring ... even Life Changing.

Before we move on though, let’s just check - does Change still sound in any way scary? Is that safety system still kicking in? If so, here's one more idea, to get us past this.

What immediately springs to mind when you read:

Sun

Tree

Beach

Was there an image? A feeling? It’s okay to say “yes”! Great.

Now try this:

Change

Grow

Learn

Evolve

What did you feel this time?

Follow the shiver and cruel plummet of emotions that Change gave you, did Learning, Growth, Evolving feel more Positive than Change? (Hint: It usually does.)

The association we have with words is Huge. Yet another article for another day! Right now though, if the word Change makes you feel anxious … change the word you’re using!

Don't Change, Grow

Don't Change, Learn

Don't Change, Evolve

Most of us can associate with wanting to Grow, Learn, Evolve, be better than we are, do things better than we can now, even to be the best we can be.

The Truth Bomb here is that all of this is and requires the “C” word. Yet, we can feel a lot more positive about this now, right? Remember, Words matter. In every facet of life.

Stick with me, because we’re now really getting somewhere …

Some Growth, Learning, Evolution we Can't control - like work restructures.

Most Growth, Learning, Evolution we Can Control. I urge you to Focus on this.

If you're not happy with how things are in any aspect of your life, it's Your Choice whether you Grow, Learn, Evolve. No one else can, will, is going to make the thing, that’s in your control and making you unhappy, evolve into something that does make you happy.

Want to get fit? A Fitness Coach can guide you, but You need to take the Action required. 

Want to work less hours, be more productive and spend more time with your family? I can teach you how, but You need to take the Action required. 

Want to embrace an abundant business or personal world full of opportunities and connection beyond your current bubble and limiting beliefs? I can also do that, taking your life to another level … but You need to take the Action required. 

You need to take the educated leap of faith, the educated leap into the unknown.

Any seemingly convincing reasons and excuses you tell yourself about why You Can't take that leap ... I Guarantee they are all stories you're telling yourself to keep you Safe and Comfortable.

Worse still, if your current Safe and Comfortable is making you Unhappy or feeling like You're Not Good Enough, why on earth would you want to stay there? An educated leap of faith into the unknown must be worth it surely?

You’re getting beyond that now though, right? You’re starting to feel excited, motivated and inspired to Grow, Learn and Evolve. If you're still not sure, I’ll give you a gentle clue … reach out.

Phew! What a journey!

How are you feeling? Excited, enlightened, a little older and wiser? Has anything inside you Grown, Learnt, Evolved? I certainly hope so, and if you’re still not sure, just take your time to let it sink in.

The weird truth is I am probably more excited, motivated and inspired about You taking a journey into Growth, Learning and Evolution than You are right now! Having transformed my personal and professional life by working with incredible people to help me Grow, Learn and Evolve, I know how amazing it can feel. For now though, that’s a positive burden I’m more than happy to shoulder. You'll know when you're ready.

If this article has resonated or inspired you to Think - and hopefully Act - differently, please show it some love, share it with friends and colleagues, start discussions, get in touch.

Want to know why I’m so passionate about Growing, Learning, Evolving and even what relationship I had with the “C” word? Click here to see the direct follow up article I wrote called “No more “C” word”.

Wishing you an incredible journey of Growth, Learning and Evolution.

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Martin Seville is an inspiring Empowerment & Personal Development Coach, Storyteller and Mental Health Advocate.

He created The Hero's Journey Coaching Programme to Empower Managers and Business Owners to take the Effective Action needed to better manage their daily Workload and thus reduce Working Hours and Exhaustion in the process.

Martin is passionate about Empowering hard working, conscientious workers to Believe in Themselves and be the Hero of Their Story.

Ways to start your journey with Martin include:

?? The easiest way is to just get in touch - drop a message or comment.

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