The Bystander Effect at Work

The bystander effect occurs when the presence of others discourages an individual from intervening in an emergency: the more people there are, the less likely anyone will do anything.

Many of us have encountered bias at work.

Maybe it was something someone said to you that seemed off. Maybe you overheard someone commit what we now call a microaggression at work to someone else, such as touching someone’s braided hair without permission and commenting on it. Maybe you overheard a leader tell a recruiter he wanted to hire a woman to head marketing because men would hold all the other top positions.

We’ve all witnessed things like this. But first, pause. Ask yourself what’s going on.

I’ve met men who think they lost out on a job or promotion due to “DEI.” I suspect they’re wrong, making me wonder how often I’ve misinterpreted something.

So, think about the intent of the person making the comment you thought you heard or that someone said to you.

I’m the type of person to call anyone on the carpet for bigotry at work. I’m so na?ve I thought if someone did something wrong, illegal, hurting someone’s feelings, or discriminatory, they would want to know. I had to have it hammered into my head that this is criticizing your leadership or company at most organizations.

Some neurodiverse traits include focusing on rules, wanting things to be fair, and seeing patterns most people don’t. It can also be a lack of ability to see the big picture at work. After four hours of psychoneurological testing, many adult women don’t get a clear answer, so I have no idea. I never had accommodations at school or work, so it doesn’t matter now, right?

So, you heard something discriminatory at work. What next?

If directed at me, I ask the person not to say things like that to me again. While a fractional sales manager, I trained a sales representative in Covington, Louisiana. Covington is next to Mandeville, where David Duke lives. Duke was a Louisiana House of Representatives member and a Grand Wizard of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan.

She, knowing I’m Jewish, called a junior page in the newspaper a “Jewish page.” A junior page is an ad that takes up most of the page, usually with an editorial column next to it. She called it a “Jewish page” because it’s less expensive than a whole-page ad. I found it more odd than insulting and just asked her to stop. That worked fine. I was a vendor hired to train her and the sales team; she had been there for twenty years, so we were more or less equals.

I’ve decided incidents like hearing a startup CEO with no human resources department plan hiring by gender are none of my business. However, it’s valuable information to reflect on as I decide whether to stay or try to follow them to the next startup.

When I hear someone say something offensive to someone else, I empathize with the offended person. So, first, I try to determine what they would want. They may want to defend themselves or have the matter dropped. Unless I know because we’ve discussed it, my focus is on them. I might walk up to them, act oblivious to what happened, try to separate them from the situation, and then see if they want help.

Company norms about respect in the workplace can alleviate many of these situations. These need to be adopted by leadership and socialized throughout the organization. Most importantly, leadership has to actually buy into them. If you hear someone in leadership say something like “we respect diversity” and then act differently, it erodes some people’s faith in them and the organization. Of course, some people don’t care.

In healthy organizations, people can have these discussions openly. If someone told me I offended them or someone else, I would thank them for telling me. Then, I would apologize to the offended parties and ask if they wanted me to do anything further. I would educate myself by reading, listening to podcasts, or taking an online course. I would not put the burden on the person I offended by asking them to educate me unless they wanted me to.

If you’re too upset, defensive, or embarrassed to do that at the time, communication breakdowns can occur quickly. Instead, ask for a break, determine when to reconvene, and regulate your emotions. Then come back. You can practice this in your head or with a trainer or therapist so you’re prepared.

We all play a role in creating an inclusive workplace culture that’s valuable to everyone and productive. I hope these suggestions are helpful.

JessicaL. Benjamin