Buying my First SUV

When I was ready to ditch my American coupe for a shiny new Toyota Sport Utility Vehicle (SUV) that was recently introduced to the market, I enlisted the help of my father to go shopping with me.  

While I’m perfectly capable to talk to people and specify what I want and need in an SUV, I’m not particularly fond of the entire car buying experience. And, this was just my second new car purchase dating back about 15 years ago.

I asked my father to be my wingman for a few strategic reasons. He’s physically a strong-looking man. He was a two-sport high school Hall of Fame player so his look can be physically intimidating, on-demand, only if necessary. He’s smart as a whip. He has the posture of a Marine, though he never served.  And, he never allows people to disrespect anyone.

Back then, my parents lived at the Jersey Shore, so I was visiting for the long Labor Day weekend. My father suggested we just ‘shop’ for a leftover car to realize great cost-savings. I lived a good 50-minute drive north closer to Princeton, so it didn’t make sense to buy a car at the shore. We were just 'shopping' to get an idea for price. I was planning to buy it near my home in the Princeton corridor.

We arrived at the dealership. A middle-aged salesman was opening my father’s door and shaking his hand. 

My father explained it was his daughter (me) shopping for the car. She was the one making the purchase, not him.  Oddly, there was no reaction from the salesman. He must be a little slow, I thought.

"Spend a lot of time talking to customers face-to-face. You’d be amazed at how many companies don’t listen to their customers.”―H. Ross Perot, business magnate, billionaire, philanthropist, and politician.

At no point did the salesman speak to me, it was as though, I wasn't even there! He continued speaking only to my father. 

I was too busy at that point to care. I was infatuated with all the colorful SUVs that were calling my name. 

That's when I heard it loud and clear: my father in a testy tone, “Susan's buying the car, not me. You need to talk to her. She's the customer, pal.” 

Awkward Business

“Hey, I’m Tony, what car are you interested little lady?” he asked.

I remember looking around to see whom Tony was talking to because I knew he wasn’t speaking to me like that.  

Finally, when I didn’t answer, he shoved his hand out in a peace offering as if to say, “Let’s shake.”

I stared at him bewildered.

He finally said, “You want to see some SUVs?”

I nodded yes.  

We had regressed to communicating like we were from the days of the caveman, it seemed.

I was getting wise to Tony's chauvinistic approach to sales. I didn’t like it.  

On the other hand, I was a bit young and naive—and googly-eyed for the Winter White Highlander and that peppy V6 engine. Tony could say all the foolish things he wanted about women; it didn’t bug me. Not yet, at least.

After my test drive which raised a few eyebrows, due to my careless, rapid acceleration down a two-lane highway of nothing but stop-and-go traffic, I just knew this was the SUV for me. 

But what about the notion of just shopping around? And, the impractical fact that I lived 50 minutes away? I rationalized in my head—just more great reasons to visit my parents!

When we arrived back at the lot, Tony said directly to my father, “What do you think, Bill?”

 “People will forget what you said. They will forget what you did. But they will never forget how you made them feel.”―Dr. Maya Angelou, Author, Speaker, Professor

That’s when my father’s calm exterior changed. “I’ve been very nice with you all morning, you continue to ignore my daughter, is there something wrong with you, buddy?” my father demanded.

“Uh oh, what do you think?” Tony said sheepishly.

My father growled, “Her name is Susan.”

“Thanks, right.”

I needed a few minutes, alone—away from Tony.

I explained to my father I’m buying this SUV.

He tried to talk some sense into me. 

"We can find this same SUV in a dealer closer to your house and not have to deal with this jackass, Susan," he said.

After going back and forth with my dad, we head into the showroom to “crunch numbers” with Tony.  

This is where I began to regret this entire SUV-buying experience.  And had one of those flashbacks to 'father knows best.' Doh!

Cold Feet, 100% Aggravation

Tony began punching information into his computer. And continued chatting with my father about his love for Frank Sinatra, who hailed from Hoboken, N.J.

My father asserted, “Susan is definitely interested in the zero-percent financing offer that you’ve been advertising everywhere—along with the end of year best model pricing we talked about.”

Tony leans back in his chair and sighs. “End of year pricing is fine, Bill.  But Susan isn’t going to qualify for zero-percent financing,” he said.

I stood up, disgusted by the discussion taking place about me—around me. 

“How do you know? Did you even run my credit, Tony?” I shrieked.

“No.”

Now I was really ticked. 

“How do YOU decide I don’t qualify. That's a financial institution's job, not yours! Do you just look at me and say, she can’t get zero percent from my looks?” I demanded. “Would you give zero percent to my dad because he’s a man and because he's older or more experienced?” I asserted.

My father was looking on with a proud look on his face.

“Well actually ma’am it’s well you’re just young and inexperienced to qualify for that financing rate,” Tony said.

“WOW! That’s called discrimination. You can’t prevent someone from qualifying for zero-percent based on their age and you didn't even run my credit history, do you think …” while Tony cut me off.

“What I meant to say is you don’t have enough credit or make enough money to qualify for zero-percent,” Tony explained.

“Oh no he didn’t …” I said.  “You are completely ignorant. You don’t even know what my salary is – you haven't even run my credit report, Tony. You are just making blanket statements all based on stereotypes, how dare you!” I retorted.

My eyes locked with my father.

We both stood up and stormed out. Tony was running behind us saying whatever he could to make us stop. It didn’t matter, he was truly a misogynist.  

“There is only one boss: the customer. He can fire everybody in the company from the chairman on down, simply by spending his money somewhere else.”―Sam Walton, founder of Walmart

Second Chances

Minutes later a young man in an elegant suit was standing with us outside my father’s car. 

“Miss Martin, would you allow me a few minutes to talk to you and your father?” said Brian Sullivan, the General Manager of the dealership. 

Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.”―Bill Gates, Founder of Microsoft

He apologized and listened.

Brian asked me to share my perspective on how I was treated at the dealership that day. I told him how disgusted I felt as a young female consumer, which is why I asked my father to come along with me to shop for a car. 

I also said there’s no way I would buy anything from his dealership.  I explained what I did for a living and how communication matters when dealing with human beings regardless of sex, age or how much money a person earns.

I then said Tony "sized me up" and thought I fell into an income bracket based on whatever stereotypes he formed and determined I would never qualify for zero-percent financing without even submitting me to the bank--isn't that unethical? I emphasized how Tony violated every aspect of the sales buying process in how he treated me, however, he was willing to cater to my father, who made it clear he had no intention of making a purchase that day. That's outright sexism.

Brian invited me back inside. I’m not sure exactly why I went back inside with Brian. Perhaps it was the love affair I was having with that shiny Winter White Highlander or maybe it was the calming demeanor of Brian Sullivan or his willingness to make things better after a miserable experience.  Maybe it was my desire to show Tony he had the stereotype about me all wrong?

Within 20 minutes Brian Sullivan qualified me for zero percent financing, no surprise. He also dropped another few thousand off the purchase price because of my bad customer experience. When I still wasn’t ‘Whistling Dixie,’ he asked me point-blank what else I needed to close the deal.

“I need a remote car starter for the cold winter mornings and an alarm, too," I quipped. 

Then I said, “I’m not paying for either of those items, after the shenanigans I was subjected to here today.” 

He showed me the costs of each item, they were pricey. 

I shook his hand and said, “Thanks for trying, Brian.”  

I even overexaggerated my body language to show defeat and sadness.  My dad was shocked I was leaving, as he knew I wanted this SUV badly. Brian had sweetened the deal and gave me almost everything I wanted sans the alarm and remote starter, but still, I was walking away.

We started walking out of Brian’s office – just as we got to the showroom floor, he said, “Miss Martin, you have a deal!”   

“The alarm, remote starter, the financing, and the lower price?” I asked. 

“The whole shebang,” Brian said smiling.

“People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.”―Teddy Roosevelt, U.S. President, politician, statesman conservationist, naturalist, and writer

Sometimes you must play a little hard to get. Then walk away time to really close the final deal. I also worked with Brian on one final detail: that the commission wouldn't go to Tony. That would have been a REAL deal-breaker.

 When communicating with tricky salespeople follow these tips:

Know your bottom-line. Don’t cross it. If you’re afraid you could break the bank on a big purchase, bring a friend or a trusted advisor with you who can say “enough” and hold you to it.

Remember who’s in charge. You’re the customer. Demand to be treated like one. If you don’t feel respected, leave or ask for a supervisor.

Know the difference between aggressive and assertive. Don’t fall for false deadlines to “buy” or be pressured into anything that you’re not comfortable with.

Ask for time. Think about the decision. Talk to another person you like and trust. Sleep on it. Don’t make a rushed decision because a salesperson is pressuring you.

Be mindful of your body language. Salespeople read your nonverbal cues and body language to capitalize on your emotions.

Watch the upselling. Salespeople live on their commissions. They will try to sell you extended warranties, additional packages and things you may not need. Think carefully before saying yes.

Your voice is powerful. Speak up and stand up. If you’re not being heard or respected, vote with your feet. Social media also provides a real-time customer experience ‘power’ that salespeople do not want to get dinged for.

Don’t settle. If you feel like you’re being mistreated, someone’s got a bias toward you or you want a different experience, ask for the manager ... or walk out! There are other places that will appreciate you and your business!

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???? Susan L. Martin, MA is a people connector, message translator, bridge builder, business strategy storyteller, a decoder of nonverbal communication. She has 20+ years’ experience supporting leadership in corporate and public organizations with their greatest communication challenges and change projects. She's supported cybersecurity, defense, energy, insurance, Information Technology (IT), nonprofit, publishing and travel clients during her career.????