The Buyer vs. Supplier Dynamic – The Thin Line Between Being Abused and Living in Limbo

We hosted an industry gathering at our shop this week—a group of remodelers and folks who typically work closely with remodeling contractors. The meeting itself wasn’t especially memorable or significant— it was the typical network event, an informative presentation, some food and drink to share while mingling and not much more. But a comment made that evening between one of the members and our owner—shared with me the next day—got me thinking about my current customers as well as ‘prospects’ and how they sometimes treat us and how being on the Sales side of the relationship requires very tough skin. His comment? Something that essentially said “I never really appreciated how badly I treated people when I was [at the former company].”

The gentleman in question was a former Estimator/Project Manager type at a successful remodeling contractor here in the area who made a career move over the last year to a similar role with a roofing company. The move wasn’t the thing—people in our world shift companies with some degree of frequency often based on winning or losing projects and the company’s willingness or ability to retain overhead during the project gaps. What was ‘the thing’ was the shift from being the ‘buyer’ of goods and services for a project to being a ‘supplier’ of these things. 

In his new role as a supplier he’s discovering that buyers [decision-makers] as he used to be often demonstrate the entire spectrum of nasty human qualities most people try to avoid and they often do it without recognizing their nasty behavior. Being insensitive, manipulative, rude, disrespectful of others’ time and energies—all part of the persona he had [unconsciously] adopted. And, of course, not every buyer was an abuser and not every supplier a saint—but the pattern is defined well-enough out there that perhaps you recognize it in your business. 

He admitted his guilt: he used to routinely ask suppliers to engage reviewing a project, prepare detailed quotes, and expend significant energies [sometimes hours and hours of work] only to ignore their follow-up phone calls if they weren’t likely to be the successful supplier. He admitted he would routinely leave them hanging without a firm ‘yes or no’ in case his expected primary supplier had some last-minute challenge that would force him to move to a second-choice supplier without giving up negotiating leverage. He admitted to asking for quotes from multiple suppliers knowing already that he wouldn’t be using them merely to meet his own clients’ insistence that he ‘get three quotes’ and review them. And, he admitted to treating these suppliers with what many of us consider the greatest insult possible: he merely ignored their existence entirely—until the next time he needed something from them.

In his new role, decision-makers are doing to him what he used to do to others and it’s frustrating him. He’s appreciating more and more how his old self wasted peoples’ time, their energy, and even their money chasing around on projects that were essentially dead on arrival. He’s realizing how nearly impossible it is to forecast sales and plan production calendars and field schedules appropriately for his new company when his prospects treat him like he used to treat his suppliers. He’s feeling how challenging it can be explaining to his new ownership why crews and projects aren’t effectively utilized. He’s seeing how unfair his old [albeit oblivious] way of treating suppliers was and how challenging he made it for suppliers to balance that thin line between needing his business and wanting to not get wrapped up in the wasted efforts his projects often demanded of them. And he’s coming to grips with why some folks he used to consider as ‘friends’ in the business have been cooler than he would have expected receiving him in his new role. Perhaps they were ‘friends’ from his perspective when he was using them more so than friends from their perspective having been abused.

I’ve said often I understand when a buyer can’t use us for a project—I get it that we won’t win every project. But I’ve also said please just don’t waste my time. If you need the quote, ask for it. But if you need the quote and it’s a non-starter, tell me. I’ll find a way to help you solve your problem and develop a relationship that will help you want to try hard to use us the next time. That’s fair. If we’re following up to find out the status of a quote, tell us. The perception is that the sales guy is always calling because he wants the deal and that’s true but only up to a point. Beyond that, we just want to know the real answer so we can remain engaged following up or cut bait and move on to the next potentially viable project and not be held in limbo. 'Yes' is a great answer; 'no' is an acceptable answer, but 'I’m not sure' or no response at all is the worst possible answer because it keeps us hanging around in limbo not knowing how and whether to still engage. In my world, tell me 'no' if the answer is no and I’ll free up resources that might be held in limbo as a capacity reserve to handle your 'DOA' project and use them for some other project that can generate real work. Give me a definitive 'yes or no'—and please give it to me as soon as you know which it is!

In my business relationships, I’m trying to work hard at partnering well with people who want to be good partners rather than abusing my clients or being abused by them. Hopefully you are as well.