Butts in seats: sex, lies, power, nepotism - the wrenches in the works

It turns out that there are many aspects to the "butts in seats" conundrum currently confounding American corporate leaders. It also seems to have hit a nerve as I have lost 5 subscribers since I started writing on this topic.

Corporate leadership and corporate culture have much to do with the health of a company. However, there are several other factors at play that, once you're alive to them, must be cured - or at least navigated.

These observations are based on my extensive corporate experience, my fifteen years in the GCC, and my reading.

Sex and power

This is the element that never ceases to amaze me. Call me naive, but I believe in getting ahead in my career based on merit, not giving sexual favors. It took me years to understand that sex is used as currency in the workplace. Ironically, it wasn't until I worked in Qatar that I saw this in action (not between Qataris).

In the first instance, I found myself working in an office where I had one set of (very high) expectations but the reality was completely different (much lower and completely crazy). In this job, I was given a very specific role and a very specific desk in a highly desirable spot. There was another lawyer in that office (an assistant legal counsel) who was extraordinarily ambitious and aggressive about trying to unseat me the minute I got there. This manifested in a variety of ways - from being rude to my face to racing to the prestigious desk to sit there before I got there. The antics do not bear describing in detail, but I was on to her. But what became increasingly apparent was the fact that she was having a sexual affair with my boss.

The affair was not just a theory or an assumption, it was confirmed by someone who caught them having sex in his office after hours. Even without that piece of information, I knew and I am sure a lot of people knew because the sexual tension between them was palpable. Both of them were married to other people and were parents. That did not inform their respective morality.

The woman - who hailed from India (both women who I saw do this happened to be from India) - was using sex to advance her career. At one point, it looked like it was about to work until the machinations failed, the job she had engineered for herself (my job but in another department under a boss she could manipulate) was canceled as was the new department.

Fast forward a few years later, the scenario was similar - a female colleague (also married with children) wanted the job that I was gunning for and for which I was more qualified. But, based on the googly eyes she and our boss (also married with grown children) gave each other across the conference room during our group meetings, it became clear that I was about to watch another "sex for a job" transaction unfold. In that scenario, there were a lot of seedy and unbelievable details, which I will refrain from repeating here. Needless to say, the deal blew up in both of their faces and I am led to understand that - given this happened in Qatar - they were lucky to have escaped harsher consequences than they faced.

These two scenarios are extreme examples of how sex comes into play in the workplace and why.

However, I have worked in offices of international companies in NYC where sex was a bartering chip that was used to gain favors, execute unfair decisions, and provide protection (mafia style) to the one offering the sex.

It would be a mistake to think that the person using sex to advance her career is only a woman (it could be a man) and that there is only one sexual relationship at play. Certainly, in the expat world, one hears of orgies and other sexual escapades which create another level of professional protection.

Thus, when I see anyone who is getting away with proverbial murder in the workplace (absenteeism, sub-par work, getting a job they are not qualified for and it shows, etc.), my immediate suspicion is that the person getting away with murder is sleeping with someone who is protecting them.

If a CEO or his team has a situation that could easily be cured but a middle manager refuses to solve it, the reason could be sex. That is, when the C-Suite has asked the managers to enforce normal office hours but that manager refuses to do so - does that manager want so desperately to be liked and can't or won't enforce the rules? Or is it more sinister - that the "sex for protection" employee has threatened to out the boss if she dares try to make him come to work and not let him continue to work remotely - or whatever the deal is between the employee getting away with murder and his boss?

Or, it could be nepotism.

Nepotism and Lies

No experience in the Middle East would be complete without seeing nepotism at play. Whether you find yourself working with the boss's brother-in-law's friend or the new boss is some C-suite executive's cousin, there is no corner of MENA where you will not see nepotism at play.

You cannot escape from nepotism anywhere you work. But CEOs need to be aware of the negative impact nepotism has on the morale of the people who got their jobs on merit. I remember being promised a job that someone's cousin got. The cousin was abusive and did not have the skill set to do this job. Because he was a bully, I moved on. People told me later that he messed up a lot of big contracts and damaged the business. But he was the CFO's cousin so nobody would say anything.

I've seen this play out so many times in different contexts and it always creates a wrench in the works because when you hire people based on nepotism and not on merit, you are willingly inviting a slice of entitled (and probably not qualified enough) employees who will have the attitude that they can do what they want because of their so-called powerful connections.

When a company is large and the shareholders have decided to trust their managers blindly to run the company with integrity, it can be a painful surprise to learn that the trusted managers are more like the Forty Thieves in "Ali Baba and The Forty Thieves" in so many ways.

I have seen lawyers who were not real lawyers (neither qualified nor holding the credentials they purported to have) appointed to big jobs. They either did not have the degree they said they had, or they were passing themselves off as a licensed lawyer with the same name from the same jurisdiction. The father of one guy paid $1,000,000 to install his inexperienced son as the General Counsel of a global company. One lady was apparently a NY-licensed attorney but after inspecting her work, I came to the cynical conclusion that she paid someone to write and pass her Bar exam.

Salvage what's left before it goes down in flames - some thoughts

A corporate culture that is rife with sex and nepotism, even if it is hidden from the naked eye, may also suffer from the problem plaguing American corporations that are currently fighting employees to come back to the office today full-time. Is work not getting done or getting done below par? Does an employee refuse to come to the office at all much less a few days per week? Look at the dynamics between the employee and the boss and how that employee's butt came to be in the seat in the first place.

When trying to course-correct when your company culture has gone off the rails and people are refusing to do what you are paying them to do, sometimes it pays to be paranoid.

It is surprisingly easy to go from riches to rags if you are not paying attention or make a few panic-fuelled and fear-based decisions. It could be overwhelming to make the tough human capital decisions required to get a company back on track. But let's look at the impact that allowing ugly situations that grow out of sexual misconduct and nepotism to fester under your roof can have:

• Decreased job satisfaction and engagement. No one wants to work in a place where the boss favors one over the others for questionable reasons (and you can never hide it, humans are intuitive, we always sense when something is wrong);
• Increased turnover rates. No one wants to work in a place where the standards are compromised by people using sex to advance their professional careers;
• Legal and reputational risks for the company. Nobody wants to get a reputation for being a hotbed of sleazy morals, corruption, and/or nepotism. And if it gets out - what's that wonderful old saying? Loose lips sink ships; and
• Reduced productivity and efficiency. This relates to the Oblomovism that I referenced in an earlier article - that idea that no matter how hard or how little one works, the salary and station will always be the same so why bother working hard? If the playing field is rendered uneven because employees are allowed to advance using sex or nepotism, why would people bother to work for such a company?

It is not enough to have clear and robust policies against sexual harassment and misconduct, there has to be robust reporting and investigation procedures to root out the rot before it spreads to the rest of the company. Leaders must be vigilant in identifying and addressing such issues promptly to maintain a healthy work environment. Research reveals that a strong sense of belonging - a tribalism - is integral to retaining employees. Nepotism sucks and makes people upset and unhappy about their jobs and their prospects within a company.

Getting back on track

There are several issues leaders should focus on to get back and stay on track:

• Fostering a culture of honesty and transparency. That means, communicating clearly about hiring practices, promotions, and company policies and walking the talk. The "Company Values" on the website mean nothing if the company leadership is not walking its talk;
• Implementing robust HR practices. This looks like having regular performance reviews, clear job descriptions, and a clear, merit-based promotion system to ensure fairness;
• Nurturing an ethical culture. This comes from training and leadership from the top. Consider establishing an in-house training program for ethical business and ethical culture; and,
• Walking your talk. There is no point in having overarching corporate values or universal policies if the values are not lived and the policies are not enforced. This takes strong leadership and disciplined management.

Conclusion

In this series, I have drawn on my unorthodox journey from NYC to the UK to Bahrain and Qatar, and back to NYC. I have seen a lot on my travels. A lot of crazy, unfathomable behaviors and work scenarios that, had I not lived through them myself, I would not believe them.

What I do know is that complacency breeds corruption. Falling asleep at the wheel of your company, department, or job can have disastrous results. It is always easier in hindsight to see what should or could have been done to salvage a critical situation.

What is required is action - tough, unapologetic, principled action.