The Butterfly Effect

Happy Saturday, we are one week into the New Year, and time is still flying. If you are reading this, count yourself lucky. Why? Several reasons: 1. You are alive, 2. You can read, 3. You have access to the internet, and I could go on and on. We often get use to things we should be grateful for in life. Not to be preachy, but everyone cannot articulate, did not make it into 2023, or has access to the world wide web. Now that you are settled into a state of gratefulness let us talk about life and how it pans out. Many people are conditioned to think that we have more control than we actually do in this life; the truth is that we do more reacting and managing than anything.

In 2004, I was in my twenties and watched a movie called The Butterfly Effect starring Ashton Kutcher; the premise was a man going back to difficult moments and altering events. However, each time he thought he had fixed one thing, it affected another. This correlates directly to the title, the Butterfly Effect, which is the concept that small things or actions can have a non-linear impact on a complex system. In simple terms, everything and each connection in life affect us in one way or another. Please stop and think for a moment; where we are today is based on the series of decisions in the past; this applies to positive and negative things. For example, today's promotion is likely based on skills, education, and previous experiences.

Many of us look back on specific areas of our life and have regrets. We all have made bad decisions, from staying too long in relationships, not saying how we felt, working a job we hate, etc. If this does not apply to you, consider yourself lucky. But from my experience, even the wealthiest, happiest, and most successful people have regrets. The beauty is that we have a choice; we can learn from our mistakes and make better decisions to produce more favorable outcomes. Of course, we cannot always predict outcomes, but we can undoubtedly impact the journey.

This year I challenge you to reevaluate the following areas of your life:

Work – Ask yourself, are you happy? Do you make the workplace a better place? Do you listen to others’ input? Do you look forward to going to work? What keeps you there?

Home – Are you present, or are you on autopilot? Do you sleep, eat and shower there? Do you really know your family, or are you actually roommates? Do you eat dinner with your family? Do you have a designated family day or date night? Is your home where your heart is?

Friends – Can you trust your so-called friend with your eyes closed and back turned? Are they a phone call away? Will they say your name in a room full of opportunities? Are they consistent, or is it a one-sided relationship? Can you trust them with your partner? Do they hold you accountable?

As you answer these questions, be honest with yourself. Write them down and reflect. If the answers surprise you, it is okay, we know when things are not great, but to survive, we often go along to get along. Work will never be perfect, but it should not make you miserable. You should have peace in two places, in the grave and at home; if things are off, fix them so you can live and rest in peace. Lastly, the word friend is used loosely; my mother always told me, "everyone is NOT your friend.” You can show yourself friendly and protect yourself from participating in a false relationship and save yourself the heartache.

Most people will spend one-third of their life working, averaging 90,000 hours; hence this takes up a great deal of your existence; you should be happy and impactful. Interestingly enough, we spend another one-third of our lives sleeping, and the people who travel for work are only in their beds sometimes. During COVID, many families were re-introduced to one another as they lived, worked, and slept in the symphony of busyness. We tend to reminisce on memories and past mistakes when people pass, get ill, or some other events only. Why not break the cycle and focus on balancing essential things and people in our lives starting today?

We are interconnected more than most may think; when we adopt the Butterfly Effect concept, we can better understand our influences on others. I hope you have positive effects on others as much as you can. It is not easy; it takes work to be positive in life and with others. Sure, everyone cannot be Mother Teresa, but we can provide others with small acts of kindness like purchasing the car behind your car coffee, mentoring someone, or even offering a smile to others. If the Butterfly theory proves true, what mark do you want to leave on the world? If you cannot control anything else in this lifetime, you can control YOU.

“I am a believer in the butterfly effect. A small positive vibration can change the entire cosmos.” ~Amit Ray

Cheers to being better for yourself and others in 2023, Happy New Year!