The butterfly effect

You’re probably familiar with the theory of the butterfly effect. It goes along the lines of a butterfly flapping its wings in one continent being the eventual cause of a tornado on the other side of the world… or something like that.

Essentially, something small that on the face of it looks like an insignificant moment is the spark that sets in motion a chain of events which results in massive, undeniable impact at some point in the future.

What I love about this theory is that it makes tiny, seemingly inconsequential and totally achievable actions a force for change. As the leader of a small charity trying to make change in complex systems this is endlessly reassuring. To me it means if you focus on the doable, you can achieve the unthinkable.

Sometimes when I talk to people about what we do at Family Holiday Charity they think it’s a lovely thing but limited. They’re dismissive. It's lovely to help a family to have a holiday but it's just a few days. It doesn’t resolve the challenges they faced before. They’re not suddenly on a higher income, healed from their long-term health condition or previous trauma. It’s a sticking plaster and all those problems return as soon as they come home. Don’t they?

Well, yes and no.

Take Penny and Dean. They live with their three-year-old daughter Rachel in Oxfordshire. The pandemic hit them hard, and Dean had to fold his business leaving Penny the sole earner. They built up debts and Dean’s mental health suffered which had a knock-on effect on to parenting their daughter.

They couldn’t afford to do much as a family and Dean’s low mood meant he was becoming increasingly isolated and not wanting to go out, so trips to the local park were often just Penny and Rachel.

We helped them to have their first family holiday together in 2022 and caught up with the couple a year later to find out how things are going for them now.

Dean successfully secured a job within a few months of their holiday, and he now works full time and Penny has also managed to increase her hours to full time.

Working has helped to lift Dean’s mood which in turn has helped to improve family relationships. Penny said ?

“I think, to be honest, the holiday helped us like communicate a bit more in a better environment. Rather, you know, when you're in the same routine, same, rut, it's just the same depressive chat as such. Whereas when you go away you're positive, you have family time together. Like you just communicate a bit more, work more as a team. So I could say that my frustrations and he could say his I think that actually paid a big part of him setting himself up to get a job because he realized that I needed him to do that”.

The cost-of-living crisis has meant that money is still tight, but Penny and Dean opted to use some of their new income on a family leisure club membership, where they swim as a family every week.

They could have been saving this money towards a holiday, and maybe I’m supposed to think they should have done, but I don’t. They made the right decision for them, their wellbeing and their family.

“Obviously, like, now we don't receive benefits and things like that. So as much as… we're probably not that much more financially better off, but we've picked different choices. So, like, we've managed to budget to go to the gym because we both decided that we actually would rather have once a week time together than just one week per year together”.

Penny told us that without the holiday she might have been a single parent by now, things had got that bad between her and Dean. But so much has changed for them.

“… it helped with general day to day aspects and that's what I think a charity is for. It's not to give someone a holiday every year, it helps us get out of that, and actually improve our lifestyle and motivate someone to get a job and enjoy being a family together. And like, that's what I feel it it's for, and that's exactly what it did for us”.

Penny and Dean did the work and they deserve the credit.

But I like to think we were the butterfly.

To find out more about the real life tornados sparked by a first family holiday check out our One Year On research.