Busting the myth- a returning mother AND a content professional

@Neha Dinesh is the General Manager and Head - Capability Development for DIAGEO India. She is also a returning mother. Today, she talks about her journey as a professional, a mother and a woman. For Neha, the choice is not between enjoying motherhood and pursuing her ambitions. She wants to have both and more!

Neha- thank you for your time today. Give us your introduction- let's start with 3 phrases that best describe you.

• A working super mom! 
• A thorough Libran by heart
• A believer of Potential in all 

Interesting! So what do you want to convey through your life journey?

My life journey starts from a simple small-town girl who was bred with family values of hard work, passion, integrity and family bonds. I grew up to be an independent working woman leader – surrendering myself to work experiences with little to personal life. Then came the discovery of personal purpose and thus the drive to make more out of life – health, baking, reading, blogging and of course motherhood! Am more excited about possibilities than I was ever before – I think that is what grey hairing means!

My reflections of my Life journey are

• If passion drives you, time will accommodate and make space for all things you want to do.
• There is still no strong alternative to Hard work – nuances of Hard work are 1) being perseverant and 2) having a growth mindset.
• Always be proud of who you are. Rat races are here to stay but you can determine your own success stories (I still struggle with this one - On my learning curve here).
• Strive to leave a legacy in your own little way

In a world that constantly talks of gender imbalance and discrimination, how do you perceive the 2 genders in your own life?

My conversations on Gender took a paradigm shift after a TedX talk. With the society becoming more open, Gender is not a binary anymore – not a Man or a woman classification but it is a Spectrum. As an individual, we all have shades of both masculinity and feminism in varied degrees.

Having set the context above, all forms of Gender should be made welcome at homes and at workplaces. Gender Imbalance happens when we view people from that demographic lens, when laws favour one over the other, when communities are divided based on majority- minority.

People should be valued as Unique Contributors with the ability to create a difference. Inclusion and Equity for me is thus primal for relationships, families, workplace teams to thrive.  

Gender Intelligence has amply showed how being able to be Myself (no imposter syndrome) and embedding a sense of belongingness can unlock human potential.

Do you believe in success or failures? How do you keep at your constant success?

Yes, I believe in Success and Failures. I also believe that both should happen in our lives. If one does not fail, it would mean that we are not pushing ourselves to aim higher. Of course, no one likes to fail...we wallow in self-pity, but true success is based on what we do after failure – do we give up or do we dust ourselves and rise again.

Success for me is not just about repeating similar success but to be able to challenge beyond, to fail, to be resilient and create new success stories – your personal success stories.

The one thing about “Success” that I have always struggled and am currently working on is this - Success is not about reaching or beating a benchmark but living a fuller life on your own terms, defining your own absolute success measures. Inspiration by Rudyard Kipling – If -----

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;

If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with triumph and disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

Where is it that you draw your motivation from, to do everything that you do?

May be cliché, I draw motivation from the women in my life. I draw motivation from my Mother, my child, my friends, my gurus, my women managers. Through them I see so many shades of who I am and what I want to be! Through them I see my aspirations unfold and through them I seek the paths to make it happen! Through them, I celebrate life everyday and through them I Keep walking!

What scares you the most as a woman? Are you comfortable talking about your lows?

Honestly, Being Vulnerable. 

Very often, as a Woman - at home and at workplace, we set ourselves as Powerful Role holders – with the ability to do it all. In order to fit at workplaces, very often I have presented myself fitter, stronger and as an assertive-aggressive imposter. I have chosen to hide my vulnerabilities at work.

A silver lining here is today’s workplace culture is increasingly championing Inclusion, Openness, Dialogues & Coaching.

You chose to return to work after motherhood? Did you face any discrimination or fear failure?

Returning to work was the most exciting – nervous moment for me. After a 10-month complex pre-post pregnancy phase, I was raring to get back to work which I loved. I tried to plan as much as I could – Ecosystems, conversations, bio-cycles and you name it.

But the biggest change for me was being ok to shut shop and head home with a clear head. Choosing to truly balance work and baby time. In my head, I was / am struggling with how I perform at par with other team members who have either not hopped on to the Mommy bandwagon or who are way past it.

But on deeper reflections, the fear of failure is very often self-created. I think matured organizations are quite flexible and supportive of these life altering milestones. However, we tend to define failure-success by our own comparison pre-post motherhood. I have gone through it and rather than helping, it has spiralled me more.

That is when conversations with working mothers helped – My line Manager told me “Don’t be a Perfect Mom, be a happy mom”. Hence choosing priorities, managing time-tasks, planning become even more critical.

I think, we should all realize that Motherhood changes your life Narrative! And the best way to traverse through it is to all seek counsel – share and seek support

·        Work even more closely with your teams to help you plan & deliver better

·        Use office/ workplace time for most impactful jobs or activities

·        Reach out to communities of working mothers

·        Trust your child’s ecosystem!

·        Do Mindfulness Exercises. Energise with the here and now

·        Most importantly – set new rules of engagement – set new success measures (no more historical trending!)

 If there was a legacy to be left behind, what would you choose to leave?

My personal purpose is “Enchant the world by bringing out the best in me and around me”. I am truly inspired on Being the best version of me!

In my eulogy, if people say that she lived a life of many! She made a difference! She made me a better person…Then I think it would be a life well lived ...A legacy left behind through heart imprints ??