Busting 3 Myths about Networking (and What to Do Instead)

Welcome back to The Power Coach, the bi-weekly newsletter that skips “happy talk” and helps leaders ascend, one Hard Truth at a time.?

If this is our first-time meeting, you can learn a little about me and the work I do by clicking here.

You HATE the word “networking.” Networking feels awkward and self-serving. Networking is time consuming, and you are so busy.?

“Why do I have to network?” you ask. “Won’t doing great work just show for itself?”

I hear and see this all the time with the people I work with.?

The hard truth is that holding these views means you pay less attention to cultivating important relationships when the reality is that a robust network, hands down, is the #1 way to get job offers, generate valuable insights, and accelerate your career success and salary growth.?

Networking doesn’t have to be a heavy lift. In this edition of the Power Coach, I bust the three biggest myths people have about networking – and share a few surprisingly simple, quick, and effective actions that will accelerate your career.

“Strong ties make us feel good, make us feel that we belong, but they also constrict our worldview.”??

– Eric Weiner, Author, the Geography of Genius

Myth #1: “The most important thing to accelerate my career is building deep, strong relationships with a few key people.”

The research is stunningly clear that your “weak ties” – people who are different from you, that you know less well – provide fresh information and new jobs. A recent study of 20 million LinkedIn users confirmed decades-old findings on the power of weak ties: people are more likely to find new jobs through people they know the least. Moreover, research has shown that weak ties bring us new and valuable information, that networking leads to more career success and salary growth, and that those who are central in networks, who are bridgers or brokers, occupy highly advantageous positions that provide information, visibility and value that lead to greater career success.

This is not to say your colleagues, close friends and bosses don’t matter at all. In your current company, your boss and others in power weigh heavily on your next internal promotion. They need to know you, see the value you bring, and be your advocate. But in the mid- and long-term, weak ties propel your career more. Even while you are working on rising in your organization, it’s critical to have additional options – and the leverage that brings - in case they don’t promote you.

Takeaway: Spend a percentage of your time cultivating second and third order connections (weak ties), by reaching out to people you know less well.?

Simple action:?

• Approach someone at work that you don't know or haven’t seen in a while. Drop by their desk,? message them and just say hi, grab a coffee, or set up a virtual chat. In your next meeting, sit next to someone you don’t know, strike up a short conversation and be curious about who they are or what they are working on.?
• Reach out directly to someone interesting outside of work that you don't know well, but follow or admire. Send a short, complimentary note on something helpful that they have posted.
• “Ping” an old acquaintance. Make a list of 10 people you haven’t been in touch with for a year and send them 2 sentences saying what is new with you, that you are thinking of them and curious about what they are up to. Don't expect a response, just ping them. Even if they don’t respond, chances are they saw it, which usually brings you from the recesses of their brain to the front. (This is an amazingly practical technique, the “art of the ping,” which Michael Melcher shared on my recent podcast about his book, Your Invisible Network).

Myth #2: “Networking is time-consuming.”

Compared to the time you need to invest in your close friends and colleagues, weak ties take much less time and effort to build and maintain,? particularly when you consider the impact they generate. Most people think they must attend mixers and events or engineer elaborate and fancy ways to connect and meet many people. That approach can be time-consuming and tiring, and it takes skill, energy, and practice to work a big room or land 30 minutes with a busy CEO.?

Take another look at the simple actions I listed above. How time consuming are they, really???

Takeaway: Networking doesn’t have to chew up lots of time to be effective. In fact, small actions can have an outsized return for the minimal effort spent.?

Simple action:?

• Dedicate 15 minutes next week to reaching out to those weaker ties. Pick one or a mix of the strategies above. Don’t put pressure on yourself and expect a huge response. Treat it as an experiment and see what happens.

Myth #3: “I have to reach out to strangers – and that is awkward.”

Weak ties don’t have to be total strangers. They can be people you know less well or have lost ties with over time, or be someone you have something in common with.

Consider, for example, the power of “dormant ties” (people who once were strong ties – old colleagues or bosses – but have moved on and are now weak ties) and “affiliation ties” (people from a school or former employer alumni network). While reaching out might have a point, like seeking advice or advancing your job search, take the pressure off by just pinging them to rekindle contact.

Takeaway: It can be daunting to reach out cold to a stranger, so start with former strong ties that have gone cold, or those with whom you share a common bond.

Simple action:

• Make a list of dormant ties and a few interesting people in your affiliation networks, and reach out. Compliment them or just say you thought of them and wanted to be connected.

Take that first step

By holding on to these myths about networking so tightly, we hold ourselves back.?

If you aren’t doing anything on the networking front, try a few of the strategies above. Or maybe you are an excellent networker, but this month is crazy busy. Give yourself a break from those 3 networking lunches and ping a dozen people instead.

It’s a lot like exercise. A brisk, 5-minute walk outside each day is much better than being chained to your desk all day, especially when the long-term benefits of a small amount of exercise are so well-documented. Of course, thirty intense minutes in the gym would be even better, but that’s for another discussion.

Let’s talk about it

This week, ask yourself: What myths do I hold about networking?

To build on this, consider these questions:?

• Which small action above might I try?
• What time next week will I block out to work on it??
• What’s the first step when I do so?

The Power Coach is here to ignite discussion, so share your answers in the comment section below or send me a message.

Michael Wenderoth

Are you ready to ASCEND? Make sure you never miss an issue by clicking the "Subscribe" button in the upper right corner of the page. For more tools, tips, and insights, connect with me here!

Click here to?download the first chapters of my book, Get Promoted:?What You’re REALLY Missing At Work That’s Holding You Back.?Get Promoted is available on Amazon?and hit #1 on Amazon’s new release charts last year, is based on research and the coaching practices that I’ve used to help thousands of global leaders get clarity and accelerate their careers.?(And yes, there’s a whole section on networking)

Subscribe to?my podcast, 97% Effective,?to hear what experts and leaders, like Michael Urtuzuástegui Melcher , have to say about how to really build power and influence to better navigate work and accelerate your career.

On my website,?check out articles I’ve written for Harvard Business Review and Forbes?and benefit from my?videos?and other free resources. (And yes, there’s a whole section of articles on networking that I wrote for HBR…)