Busted by Body Language

Does body language betray you? It sure busted someone I encountered yesterday. On my way home from work I stopped at my son’s doctor’s office to pick up a form the doctor had filled out for him. I walked up to the reception window wearing a smile and my business clothes…a jacket and tie. As I approached I was greeted with a harsh look and a most unfriendly and suspicious, “yes?” OK, what did I do to deserve such a cold reaction? Then it dawned on me. Not looking sick or toting a sniffily kid, what could I possibly want? Aha! The fact that I said a friendly “hi!” and was clad in business clothes must have given the receptionist a strong impression…not that I was just a nice guy on an errand, but I must have been (dramatic music) a salesman! Now I can understand why a receptionist in a busy medical office might not be thrilled to encounter a salesman who could be pushy, impolite, or just professionally aggressive in order to do his job, but there’s no need to put the Arctic freeze on a person before really knowing what they have in mind. I write this knowing I’ve often been guilty of the same offense…letting my body language speak inappropriately and being severely busted for it. Several years ago one of my more talented and trusted co-workers started pitching an idea that, to me, didn’t really make sense. As he was speaking he saw my eyes start to roll and lips tighten and, feeling very hurt, stopped in mid-sentence then cried, “that face! That face! You gave me THAT FACE!” Damn….I had inadvertently insulted a friend and valued colleague and our relationship was never quite the same. I felt terrible and apologized but the damage was done. It all reminds me of the old saw about thinking before you speak and how one must remember to not only be prepared to bite one's tongue, but everything it's attached to.