A Business of Emotional Intelligence
Hi HR, will you love it if I use ‘tools and techniques' to make you feel good about me, but I really hate you inside. And do you think my tools and techniques will be able to musk my real feeling towards you forever? Stephen Covey raised similar questions many decades back.
Amidst huge applause of stock market two companies announce merger in a beautiful October evening. The top brasses from both the companies open champagne in five-star hotels. That night the Mumbai sales head from each of the merging companies find it difficult to get sleep. “Shall I be able to continue or the guy from other company will take over?” was the question whirling in his mind! “What if I am demoted - shall I be able to stand the humiliation? If asked to go - where can I go?” At night, he comes up quietly to his small dark hall and places himself curled on his sofa! He can hear his heart beat in the silent dark hall. He gets acidity and rashes behind his neck - symptom of too much stress! His family doesn’t know all these. Nor even his HR manager. He loses weight. He becomes irritating. Saving his job becomes his first priority - he conceals information to maintain his importance in the organisation. He knowingly lets the other guy commit mistake - because survival of his family is paramount.
HR, can you empathise with this guy? I know that you know he is not going to be sacked in near future. Fine, but here is a human being, exactly like you with all emotions, fear and insecurity, suffering day in and day out!
I received a call from the young HR guy, who asked me to teach them Transactional Analysis. I agreed. Then he asked my opinion - I said, “Honestly, from my 20 years of experience, Transactional Analysis will not help them. That will aggravate the situation in the longer run. These poor guys don’t need teaching, but to realise that the other guy is also exactly in the same boat. They need to realise that each one of them needs each other’s support.” To make it easier to understand I added words like “emotional intelligence.”
My mentor said, “Never ever try to make the HR guy understand. Just explain the benefits.” I didn’t get the training order. And I regret that I forgot to tell him that I was ready to do the training for free for I realised what those poor souls were going through and I could help them! I didn’t have the HR guy’s number.
#Merger, #EmotionalIntelligence, #Empathy #Utpal #UtpalChoudhury #Conflict #ConflictManagement #TransactionalAnalysis