Business Buzzwords That Need to Retire: A Farewell Letter

Dear Corporate Jargon,

We need to "touch base" about your performance. After careful consideration and "drilling down" into the data, it's time for some "real talk" about your continued presence in our workplace lexicon. Let's start with your "synergy." You burst onto the scene promising to revolutionize how we describe collaboration, but now you're just making everyone's eyes roll in meetings. And your close friend "leverage" – we get it, you're versatile, but you're being used to describe everything from office supplies to lunch orders.

"Think outside the box" – oh, the irony of using a cliché to encourage creative thinking. It's time to practice what you preach and find a new way to express innovative thinking. Perhaps we could simply say "be creative" or "explore unconventional solutions"? "Circle back" and "loop in" – you've been running us in circles for years. While your intentions of following up and including others are noble, you've become the go-to phrase for ending conversations without committing to anything.

And let's discuss "low-hanging fruit." You've turned every simple task into a produce metaphor. We're not agricultural experts; we're just looking for easy wins and quick solutions. "Deep dive" – unless you're planning to submerge yourself in water, perhaps we could say "analyze thoroughly" or "investigate in detail"? The most egregious offender might be "110%." Not only are you mathematically impossible, but you've set unrealistic expectations for effort and commitment. Can we agree that 100% is already pretty impressive?

As we move forward (yes, that's another one), let's challenge ourselves to speak more authentically. Instead of hiding behind corporate speak, we could use clear, direct language that actually conveys what we mean. Remember, when we "streamline our communication paradigm" (sorry, I couldn't resist), we're not just making our conversations more efficient – we're making them more human.

Best regards,

A Tired Business Professional

P.S. Let's not even get started on "paradigm shift" and "bandwidth." They're already cleaning out their desks.