Business-Aligned Belonging - Creating Brave and Creative (If Not Always Safe) Spaces

Today my business partner, Nasiah, and I were reflecting on the changes that happened in the three years since George Floyd’s murder.?In the weeks and months following it, diversity, equity and inclusion got more attention than they maybe ever had.?Almost immediately companies started releasing statements about the commitment to DEI.?They formed committees.?Some created positions.?Businesses (including ours) formed to assist organizations in fulfilling their newfound concern.?

As time went on, the terminology around DEI started to change and shift.?Diversity, equity and inclusion became diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging.?Or perhaps, as we did, organizations started shifting the order of the words around, to emphasize the equity and inclusion over diversity.?More recently, we’ve observed a rejection of any emphasis on diversity. ?At a recent conference, Nasiah saw a leader in the field say, “Can I even say the word diversity now?”?We don’t talk about diversity anymore!?Or, we don’t talk about it like we used to.?We now assert we are doing the work of human dignity, helping organizations create environments in which the contributions of all people are honored, appreciated, and respected.?

What we observed is that there seems to be an ever-shifting vocabulary around this.?We began to inquire: what’s at the source of that???Why is that the language around whatever it is we’re trying to do keeps changing??

What we began to see for ourselves is it may be the language keeps changing because we keep finding that what we think is going to get us what we want doesn’t get us what we want.?

Something was missing.?We thought, “maybe we need more diversity…” and began working to bring people in from different identities.?

Something was still missing.?“Equity!?It isn’t enough that different bodies be here.?We need to make things equitable.”?

Still, there was something missing.?“Maybe it’s that the spaces aren’t authentically inclusive?”?

And so on.?There’s still something missing and now we’re at a place where maybe it isn’t diversity at all, but something else.?

So what’s missing??

To identify that, we started looking at George Floyd, and what it was about his killing that we all found so horrifying.?Why did that event, in particular, mobilize a movement??

As we looked at it, what we saw was that while there were bodies about as close as bodies could be, what was unmistakably conspicuous was a complete absence of humanity.?There was a complete failure for people to connect as human being.?That failure was heartbreaking and, absent the capacity to deal with the heartbreak, infuriating. ?What struck us all as so tragic wasn’t just the fact of a man’s death; ?people die all the time and the world doesn’t notice.?I think it was what we all saw, either explicitly or implicitly, as the cause: a complete failure for human being to connect with the humanity of another.?

The vast, vast majority of us crave connection.?

This is why, when we work with organizations, we don’t do trainings in cultural competency.?We don’t have a map that will have you never micro-aggress.?

Spend enough time around people, and you’ll feel hurt by them.?They’ll feel hurt by you.?It goes along with being human.?

What we coach instead is to, first, assume that if you are living life acting with commitment and intention, sooner or later someone is going to get upset.?You can’t avoid it.?The second thing we coach is that, when relationship gets damaged, it can be restored.?Further, the act of restoration can make it stronger and more vital.?

There’s two simple (though challenging) things to tend to in restorative communication that work to create connection and partnership

1.??????Complete acceptance of where the other is and how they see things.?

2.??????Communicating from what you value – whether it is shared purpose, intention, or personal and individual values.?

Again, simple, but often very challenging.?

What often gets lost in attempting to create inclusive environments where people experience belonging is attention to the nature of being a human being.?As people, we live in a world that is full of threats, real or imagined.?However, it isn’t only made of threats.?It’s also a world full of that which we value – the opportunity for contribution, connection, making a difference, and so on.?Whatever it is you personally care about, the opportunity to fulfill on it is always right here, right now.?

All of it is there at once – the risk and the opportunity.?Living a life of vitality - ?or creating an organization where that’s available for all stakeholders – is not about making a “safe space” where the risk of getting hurt is eliminated.?Padded cells are safe spaces.?They also kill off creativity, generativity, and productivity.?Safe spaces aren’t designed for that.?We assert that authentic belonging is about providing what we call a “brave space” where people have the tools and practices to restore relationship and connection when feelings do get bruised.?

In business, there is always risk.?You can’t have growth without it.?What works is to approach risk mindfully and intentionally.?When DEI efforts are embedded in business, they should be aligned with that model.?From there, people, relationships, and business can grow together.?

******************************************

We would love to meet you. Join us on August 1 at 8pm Eastern time for a free event - The Heart of Dignity: An Inquiry into Listening. We'll lead a workshop where we explore fundamental barriers to communication and leave you with expanded capacity for including them to move communication forward. Register here.

?