Burnt Out + Unfulfilled? 3 Pillars for Lasting Change and Healing

If you’ve found yourself burnt out or anxious, there is a very high likelihood you’re also experiencing a “Disconnect from Self”.?

Let me explain.?

(And don’t miss the last part of this article because I connect the dots for you on what’s holding you back that most people don’t realize, so they fail and “self sabotage”.)

Now back to the article.?

My philosophy is that we each have a sacred mission and impact to live out in our time here on Planet Earth.? We are spiritual beings having a human experience, and part of our happiness lies in our ability to be intentional, authentic, and purpose driven.?

We innately desire to work towards that end- to cultivate meaning and purpose with how we spend our life.?

Many of the people I work with yearn to leave a LEGACY.

Some want to create generational wealth and healing, or cultivate a healthy family, or create something that does good in the world.

(This is the reason I started my company- to help humans and leave behind knowledge that can benefit others from my unique perspective and life experience.)

We can also ENDURE the lows of life and the stress of building our dreams when we are driving towards our purpose.?

The hardships don’t seem so draining when we know what our end goal is.??

We have a road map to follow.

But what happens when you don’t have this meaning and purpose in your life??

Your roadmap filled with purpose and meaning doesn’t exist.? You find yourself lost, or driving along trying to find where to go…as you go.

Maybe the role you took on didn’t pan out the way you hoped.

Maybe the side hustle you started up didn’t line up with the things you actually want out of life.?

Maybe more money doesn’t actually fulfill you like you thought it would.

Maybe staying late or working for your micro-managey boss doesn’t make sense anymore.?

Maybe something in your life changed.?

Maybe you came out of the slumber you were going through life in, and suddenly realize now what is meaningful to you.?

This is the place where many of my clients find themselves- they have been living in a chronic state of Disconnect from Self.

When you are disconnected from yourself, you might do or feel any (or all) of these things:

• You don’t take notice or make changes when you receive the cues from your body that something isn’t right.? (not sleeping well, feeling pain, gaining weight, headaches, etc)

• You haven’t identified the sacred mission of your life…OR you aren’t working towards it

• You have symptoms of stress, anxiety, or emptiness

• You lack confidence

• You feel like an imposter

• You do not honor yourself and your desires consistently

• The noise of “outside” (social media, technology, outside opinions, etc) drives your decisions

• You are distracted and unintentional... aimless

Now- do we all go through periods of this at times?? Yes.??

But if this is where you find yourself consistently, and you have a laundry list of symptoms and ill health to go with it, it is no longer just a lull in your life.?

It’s the disconnect- and it’s too great for you to tuck under the rug.?

So how can you RECONNECT??

Let’s consider three aspects here:?

Fulfillment.?

I’ve mentioned already how a purpose driven life is so incredibly important to our happiness- for us to work towards a goal that is in line with our sacred mission.?

Your goal doesn’t matter to me- but it has to matter to you.?

If you’ve found yourself disconnected from self, this is a super challenging internal battle that we must do the WORK of sorting through.??

Here are some tips to get you started:?

1. Lower the distress of the internal battle of not knowing your purpose.?

When my clients don’t know their purpose or sacred life mission, or even what would make them feel happy and fulfilled, they have intense feelings and overarching anxiety about NOT KNOWING.?

Although I’ve seen this to be incredibly common (I even went through my own quarter life crisis at 25, where I dealt with exactly this LOL)- we must give ourselves grace and compassion to allow the path to unfold for us.?

1. Ask yourself, if I had multiple chances to get it right- and if I was guaranteed success- what would I enjoy?? What career would I do?? What role would I like? What type of day should I have? These answers can be great jumping off points for you to identify what is meaningful to you.

2. Sort through your current experience.? No matter where you find yourself currently- there have been some benefits along the way to being exactly where you are.? Jot those down.? What do you like about your current reality?? What has been beneficial to you? What do you want more or less of? What are you grateful for???

3. Take a few deep breaths and think about your funeral.? We will all die one day- so what do you want to be known for?? What do you want to leave behind for others?? What would make you really proud to have accomplished??

These action steps can help get your wheels turning on what would be a fulfilling path for you to take.??

If you still seem lost, let me give you this piece of advice- follow the fun.?

When opportunities present themselves to you, follow through with the ones that are infused with more fun and joy.? We are meant to enjoy our work- and part of our purpose will always be to have joy in our life.

Of course, we must use our best judgment as there are many things that are fun but won’t pay the bills, or create a healthy environment for us.? So, follow the WHOLESOME fun. :)

Intentionality

When you know what you want to work towards, intentional action makes all the difference.? When we have an intention, a plan, a goal in mind- we can work towards that goal in big and small ways every single day.?

Of course, this only works if you’ve identified the intention.?

So ask yourself the famous 4 W’s (+ 1 H):?Who, What, Where, When + How

• Who- Who do I wish to be in the world??
• What- What is important to me? What are my ideals and core values??
• Where- Where am I going?? Where am I now??
• When- When do I want to achieve my goal or execute on my intention? What is my timeline?
• How- How do I want it to feel as I go?? How do I want to show up with others and myself along the journey?

When we’ve laid out what our intentions are- we can make decisions along the way accordingly.?

Unless… we are stuck in an automatic stress response.?

OK OK- so here’s the catch.?

Many of us have found ourselves leading very intentional, healthy, purpose driven or fulfilling lives. ? And we’ve still struggled with burnout, anxiety, and other symptoms that disrupt our lives.

So what gives??

Well, my friends, my work wouldn’t be complete without educating you about your unique physiology.??

For my clients, THIS is what makes allll the difference for them, and is a foundation of our work.

The stress response is real.?

This is how it works:??

• Our stress response is activated by a trigger in our life (our pesky boss or client asking for yet another revision, a snarky or untimely email, rush hour, back to back meetings, sick kiddo, overwhelming housekeeping tasks, the invisible load of parenthood, feeling anxiety, etc)

• Our primal threat response activates and tightens our muscles because we’ve just entered into fight or flight

• The parts of our brain we use to think logically, reason, do math, have sound judgment, NOT OVERREACT go POOF- offline.? Like your wifi signal when the tower goes down in the middle of a storm.? NO SIGNAL.?

• ?You default to the stress response since the primal part of your brain is driving your action.? You fire off a nasty email, you hang up on your difficult client, you break down in the bathroom, you doom scroll and shut down to cope with your feelings, you eat a whole sleeve of oreos, or you “self sabotage”.? You avoid or you become aggressive.

What does this do for us then?? We only further deepen the divide between who we wish to be, and how we actually are.?

Da

Da

Dunnnnnn....

Disconnect from Self.?

This makes us feel even worse, and then we add salt to the wound by adding shame, disgust, or guilt to our whole experience.?

And yet… our stress response is innate, primal, and automatic.?

We can interrupt our stress response and this is the foundation of healing and creating lifelong change- both in our physical body and in the spiritual sense as well.?

We RECONNECT because when we master our own biology and take full accountability for what’s going on within our physical body- we are then able to execute on our intention and drive us closer and closer to fulfillment, fun, clarity, change.? On a daily basis- moment by moment, even.

We are proud of who we are and our relationship to self is nourished.?

If your interest is piqued and you’d like to learn more about all of this, I have a vault of resources available to you.? Message me and I can figure out the best one to shoot over to you to watch- no strings attached.??

My friends- burnout, anxiety, and even something like imposter syndrome isn’t something for us to silently suffer with.??

My aim is to help you reach your goals along the way as you find, create, or follow your sacred life mission.?

You deserve to FLOURISH.