Burnout and the voices of change

"I'm burnt out and I'm resentful. I just want to ...(insert dramatic end)". Whether it is to finish the project, meet the deadline, go on a holiday, find another job, resign ... and never have to see these people again, these kinds of conversations are a plea for help. If unaddressed, the person burning will unknowingly burn the bridge to remedy their situation.

What do we do? Can we do anything?

My heart gets sore when someone tells me how bad their situation is. I've been there, and I am familiar with the feeling of wanting to write people off because they've consistently disappointed you. The problem with that is inevitably you will find yourself in the same situation with other people, because you are still the same person with the same kinds of behavior and thinking, only the environment or context has changed - BUT NOW, your list of "people to avoid" has grown from 1 to 2 pages.

'You can't change others. You Can Only Change Yourself. But That Will Change How Others Respond To You.' - Springwolf (Goodreads)

If you're burnt out, you've probably been doing more of the same thing, and hoping someone else will change. If you're resentful, you are only conscious of how much you are giving but not receiving. Pause. Ask yourself what the issue is. Ask yourself what you are trying to avoid or who you are trying to protect, and why - is it really helping you...but is it also really helping them in the long run?

Many of us pride ourselves in being problem solvers, and if we cannot find the solution to the problem, we fear that raising the problem will cast a negative light on us, so we don't say anything. We swallow our suffering, and we hope that we find the solution to the thing that we are struggling with...we take on more, until we break. Please don't let that happen to you.

Change starts with acknowledging that something isn't working. Then externalizing this knowledge to validate your assumptions and root cause - this might look like a coffee or a phone call with someone you trust. Being able to see and hear the problem outside of yourself, might lead you to the solution, but if not...seek the counsel of someone wiser, or more experienced to navigate the road ahead.

The good news is that that conversation that you're avoiding, really afraid of having, and that might blow up in your face...is a growth opportunity for you. You cannot predict how the other person is going to receive the feedback, but by having the conversation you've signaled to the person that they matter, and you want to work with them and NOT WITHOUT.

May courage and grace find you as you tackle the challenge of change and growth. And remember...the answer to CHANGE is change and not more.

#personaldevelopment #toughconversations #burnout #change #resentment