The Burnout Myth: How Self-Sacrifice Fails Leadership

“Compassion is the radicalism of our time.” — The Dalai Lama

This quote may seem out of place in business and leadership. After all, compassion isn’t a word we typically associate with success. Instead, leadership has been framed as a test of endurance, where self-sacrifice, relentless hustle, and exhaustion are seen as proof of dedication. In many boardrooms, the idea of leading with compassion is not just controversial—it’s dismissed outright. But this outdated mindset is precisely what’s causing so many leaders, and their teams, to burn out.

In my book Human First, Leader Second, I challenge this myth of perfectionism and endurance that dominates leadership culture. Leaders are often convinced that self-sacrifice is necessary for success. But when leaders neglect themselves, they eventually exhaust their ability to lead others. We need to recognize that leadership isn’t about how much you can give up; it’s about how effectively you can lead, and that requires energy, clarity, and focus.

The Burnout Badge: Why We Wear It with Pride

Where did this idea of self-sacrifice as a leadership virtue come from? Historically, leadership has been about endurance. From military generals to industrial captains, leaders were celebrated not for their well-being, but for their ability to push beyond it. Society has long glorified the tireless leader, the CEO who never rests, as the ultimate example of success. But this model, which equates more work with better results, is outdated and dangerous—especially in today’s world where emotional intelligence, creativity, and sustainable leadership are what truly drive progress.

And yet, the myth persists. Generations of leaders have been taught that success requires sacrificing everything: sleep, health, relationships, and personal time. It’s baked into the very fabric of our professional lives. But here’s the truth: when leaders sacrifice themselves, they sacrifice their companies. Burnout is not a symbol of dedication—it’s a signal that something is wrong.

Burnout vs. Boundaries: The Guilty Pleasure That Holds Leaders Back

Is burnout glorified, or is it a guilty pleasure? We can recognize that burnout is bad for our teams and yet live boundariless lives until the guilty pleasure becomes a shameful reality.

Burnout is often framed in two conflicting lights—either as a badge of honor or a shameful secret. In many corporate cultures, the endless grind is glorified. It’s seen as proof of dedication, with exhaustion becoming synonymous with high achievement. Leaders, especially, are expected to pour every ounce of energy into their roles, sacrificing personal well-being in the process. This glorification turns burnout into something aspirational—something to be proud of because it signals that one has given everything for the cause.

Yet, beneath the surface, burnout can feel like a guilty pleasure. While consciously aware that it is damaging, both for the individual and the team, many leaders fail to implement boundaries that would protect their well-being. The lack of boundaries stems from a deeper, often unspoken belief: that to stop, rest, or pull back is a sign of weakness or failure. The guilty pleasure aspect arises from the allure of being seen as irreplaceable or invaluable because of one’s constant overwork. Eventually, though, the weight of this reality sets in, and what once seemed like a noble sacrifice transforms into shame. Leaders often wake up too late to the damaging effects on their health, relationships, and even their teams, realizing that burnout has cost them far more than they imagined.

Self-Compassion: Moving from Intention to Practice in Leadership

The first step is understanding what self-compassion actually is. I’m certain many leaders are against burnout, and they think they are compassionate, but it is not reflected in their behaviors. At best, it is an intention, not a practice.

In Human First, Leader Second, I introduce a six-step framework to help leaders move from intention to practice when it comes to self-compassion. Many leaders claim to be against burnout and believe they practice compassion, yet their behaviors suggest otherwise. This disconnect exists because, for many, self-compassion is an intention, not a practice. They might intellectually agree that self-care is essential but continue to operate from a place of self-sacrifice.

True self-compassion requires leaders to recognize their humanity, acknowledging that they too need rest, boundaries, and space for renewal. It’s a shift from thinking about compassion as a soft, indulgent trait to understanding that it’s a strategic one. Leaders who practice self-compassion don’t just prevent burnout—they model healthy behavior for their teams. They create cultures where balance and well-being are prioritized, leading to greater trust, innovation, and sustainability. Self-compassion is not about lowering expectations or cutting corners; it’s about cultivating the clarity and resilience required to lead effectively.

The Ripple Effect: How Self-Compassion Transforms Teams and Organizations

I once worked with a CEO who epitomized this mindset. His company was thriving on paper—revenue was up, teams were expanding—but behind the scenes, he was barely holding it together. His 80-hour workweeks, missed family events, and complete lack of self-care were taking a toll. When we first met, he wore his exhaustion like a badge of honor, convinced that burning himself out was the price of leadership. But his team was starting to mirror his exhaustion, and turnover was becoming a major problem. Despite the company's growth, the cracks were beginning to show.

Through our coaching sessions, I introduced him to the idea of self-compassion. At first, he resisted—like many leaders, he viewed self-care as indulgent or weak. But as we worked through the toll his self-sacrifice was taking on his judgment, creativity, and team, he began to see the connection. Over time, he started practicing small acts of self-compassion: setting boundaries, recharging, delegating tasks. The shift in his leadership style was profound. His decisions became sharper, his team more engaged, and the culture of burnout that had taken root began to shift into one of resilience. By taking care of himself, he was better equipped to take care of his company.

Breaking the Cycle: From Self-Sacrifice to Sustainable Leadership

Self-sacrifice may feel like a noble path, but in reality, it’s a road to failure. When leaders exhaust themselves, they lose their ability to lead effectively. Here are five ways self-sacrifice harms a company:

1. Decreased decision-making quality: Burnout clouds judgment and leads to reactive, short-term decisions that compromise long-term growth.
2. Lower team morale: A leader who constantly pushes through exhaustion sets a tone of overwork, which filters down to the team, creating a culture of stress.
3. Higher employee turnover: When leaders are burnt out, teams become disengaged and start looking for healthier work environments, resulting in higher turnover.
4. Stifled innovation: Burnout kills creativity. Leaders who are constantly tired don’t have the mental space for big ideas or innovative solutions.
5. Diminished trust and relationships: Self-sacrificing leaders often become emotionally distant, weakening trust and collaboration within the team.

Conclusion: Challenging the Burnout Myth

The belief that leadership requires endless self-sacrifice is not just wrong—it’s harmful. Burnout doesn’t lead to success; it leads to failure, both personally and organizationally. True leadership comes from clarity, balance, and self-compassion. It’s important to remember that self-compassion is not merely an intention. It is a practice. And like all practices, it will show up in the results of your daily life. In Human First, Leader Second, I emphasize that self-compassion is not about being soft but about building resilience and sustainable leadership. When leaders take care of themselves, they create the conditions for their teams and companies to thrive. The ripple effect is undeniable: healthier leaders foster healthier organizations. Are you ready to challenge the self-sacrifice myth and lead in a way that sustains both you and your team?

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. How does the burnout myth show up in my current leadership style?
2. What would change if I started leading with self-compassion instead of self-sacrifice?
3. How can I model self-care to my team in a way that empowers them to do the same?
4. What beliefs about leadership do I need to challenge to create a healthier, more sustainable approach?
5. How does my own well-being impact the performance and morale of my team?

My book, Human First, Leader Second: How Self-Compassion Outperforms Self-Criticism, will change the way you lead—and how you see yourself in the process. The book is a guide to transforming how you live and lead by reconnecting with your humanity. It’s not a “feel better” book. It is a “become better” book: a better human, a better leader - in that order. By learning the practice of self-compassion with my 6-step framework, you'll unlock new levels of performance, strength, and confidence - all without resorting to self-sacrifice.?