Burnout can be a slow burn - set your frog free

70% of employees reported to have experienced symptoms of burnout in the last 12 months in a recent survey*. 70% - that's huge

I think sometimes when we think about burnout perhaps we think there is a moment in time where you recognise you are burnt out, a breaking point, a moment where you just collapse under the weight of it all. A holiday is what you need, that'll fix it, a break. Go for a walk, manage your diary better, take up yoga, just say no to things.

I think the opposite, I have experienced it. It was a slow-burn burnout if you like, it creeps up on you, like a frog in a pan of boiling water. And it is hard to break free from it.

I left my corporate job at the end of 2023, I felt I had a lot of agency in that move; I was deeply grateful for the opportunities and experiences that had led me to that point; I was excited for the future. As I entered 2024 I realised how exhausted I was, that I needed decompression, to slow down, and to find space and time to just breathe. The signs have become more obvious to me now that for the last 12-18 months, since the 'end' of Covid really, I was working at the edges of being burnt out.

My work was more reactive than it ever had been. It felt like it was fast-paced and exciting, and although I was delivering, I was working long and often erratic hours, rarely switching off. I have always enjoyed a fast pace and variety, but I didn't have the space to really reflect on what I was doing and learn from it.

I struggled to sleep and I was grinding my teeth. When I did get to sleep, I then woke up most nights, sometimes for an hour or two. My mind couldn't rest.

Early in 2023, I had a foot operation, I was laid up for a while, I took 6 weeks away from my desk (I physically couldn't sit at my desk). I felt like I was missing out at work (big FOMO!), and I didn't take the opportunity of the mental break. As I was on crutches I put on (more) weight, even through structured rehab I was struggling to find time to exercise enough and eat properly, going straight back to old habits of snacking for lunch. I wasn't taking care of myself.

At the same time, I was the one advocating for others, getting support from EAP, from a mentor, from your line manager. Yet I didn't take my own advice. Why?

Well, looking back I think there were three reasons:

1. Well, I thought I WAS taking my own advice - seriously, I thought I was making time for myself, and flexing my schedule effectively. I was flexing, but my boundaries were not strong enough to take the time for me and my family's priorities. I had a mentor, I had the space to talk through solutions and offload. I would share with my manager and others in the leadership team when I was having a bad day, and they were SUPER supportive, I felt like I had put the support in place to continue to be effective.
2. I didn't want to let anyone down - I was doing my job well, I was hitting my targets and more, getting great feedback, and delivering some great programs. I had to keep going so I didn't let anyone else down. I didn't want to let myself down, I was career-oriented and wanted to keep progressing in my role and finding opportunities to grow. So I needed to just keep going, it was all working.
3. I thought (hoped) that I was leading others through the changes in the working environment - the 'helper' in me wanted to make sure I was there for everyone else, that I was a leader who understood and was role-modelling finding ways to make things work. Employee Assistance Programs applied to everyone else, not me! I am not sure now how helpful that always was for others!

My employer had ALL the right things in place, EAP services, sympathetic ears in HR, generous holiday allowance and a focus on well-being. My manager and team were great, supportive, nurturing, and kind.

But I still burnt out.

Slowly, over time.

I am not sure how I would have done anything differently. But I have learnt from it. I wholeheartedly appreciate the opportunity I have had for a break, a reset.

I am still me, I love fast pace and variety, I am creating a work-life for myself that is filled with work that gives me joy, energises me and fills my cup. I want to work with people who are ok if I have a bad day, or if my energy is lower at time. I am sleeping (amazingly well), I have lost the weight from my foot operation (and from Covid if I am being honest!) and really enjoying exercise again. I have worked with a coach who has helped me to articulate how I put into action the vision I had of starting my own business.

So if you feel like you are the frog in the boiling water, how can you set the frog free to explore all the lily pads and to breathe again?

I don't have all the answers I'm afraid because I feel like this experience has shown me that I only realised what was happening in hindsight, but I knew that the balance was off somehow. I know that if someone had told me I was burnt out or in danger of it then I would probably have agreed, but maybe not done anything much to change it. If this resonates, please find someone (a friend, a mentor, a coach, a manager, or me - I'm always happy to talk) who can help you make sense of how you are feeling, find practical and manageable ways to turn the water down on the frog, so you can ignite your spark and breath again.

* https://workplacewellbeing.pro/news/55-of-employees-face-burnout-alone/