Burnout - Breaking the Exhausting Cycle

"I am SO overwhelmed and exhausted!" This sentiment has been shared in home offices and workplaces around the world. For the past 2 - 3 years, we have not only worked incredibly hard, but we've also transformed our homes into schools and office spaces, survived a global pandemic, and watched countless hours of civil unrest on our TV screens. Many of us are tired, unengaged, and unfulfilled. Many of us are experiencing BURNOUT and can't quite figure out how to break the cycle!

Are you suffering from burnout?

Burnout is, simply put, an extreme feeling of exhaustion. Symptoms can impact your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing.

1. Do you constantly feel tired, regardless of how many hours of sleep you get each night?
2. Are you frustrated or overwhelmed by work or other routine activities?
3. Have you taken a day off, but it doesn't result in feeling refreshed or well rested?

Naturally, there are times when life is overwhelming. It's important to recognize when your busy season has turned into an overwhelming, exhausting lifestyle. When you feel the line has been crossed, you owe it to yourself to make a change.

Here's my question for you: Reflecting on the past month, what has specifically caused the most stress in your life? Is it work? Is it a never-ending todo list? Is it parenting? Is it current events? Is it relationship related?

Take a moment to really dissect what's going on. Start by thinking of the specific instances when you felt triggered or pushed to the brink of exhaustion. List them and then dissect a little more. What time of day did these occur? Where were you? Who was involved? What specifically about the situation bothered you? Is there a theme to your frustrations? What is the root cause?

Example: I'm always frustrated at work. I'm working 12 hours per day and the work never ends. I don't have the time I need for myself, family, and friends. I'm also constantly drained and have little energy for other areas of my life.

You have likely tried taking a day off of work, getting a massage, or finding some "me time." These are all great self-care techniques, but they alone do not address the root issue that you just identified in Step 1. If you are suffering from burnout, the well-meaning break will still result in all of the burnout symptoms returning within the next day or week when life goes back to "normal." So, when brainstorming solutions, you want to focus on treating the larger issues versus the symptoms.

To do this, you first want to create a physical environment that gives you the most peace of mind. It can be difficult to brainstorm solutions to large scale issues when you are surrounded by your immediate issues that are demanding your attention. Be intentional and set aside a time for your brainstorm. Maybe it's lunch at your favorite restaurant. Maybe it's in the quiet of your bedroom when all of the kids are asleep. Maybe you take the day off while everyone is at work or in school. Find a time and place that offers you minimal distractions, stress, or people who need you.

Once settled, create a physical list of solutions or possibilities. Keep an open mind regarding what's possible. Be as creative and innovative as possible. Be honest about what you want. Don't hold back. These should be solutions that change the dynamics of your life. Think "take a day off of work" versus "set boundaries on time spent at work." Taking a day off of work offers a day of relief, but setting boundaries on your working hours sets you up for lasting relief.

Questions to Consider:

• Are there habits that I should consider changing?
• Are my actions/reactions fueling my burnout?
• What thought patterns impact how I interact with others or treat myself?
• Am I in an environment (work, home, community) that is healthy for me?
• How are my relationships impacting me?
• Am I balancing my needs with the commitments I make to others?

Additional Questions to Consider:

• How can I reimagine and redefine aspects of my life to create a healthier lifestyle?
• What can I remove or stop doing to create more space for myself?
• What practices can I add or expand to increase my enjoyment of life?

Example: To address my lack of time, I could leave the office no later than 5:30 PM each day. I could also not check work emails between 5:30 PM and 8:30 AM each day. I can block my calendar so that no meetings are scheduled after 5 PM. I can shutdown my laptop and turn off phone notifications so that I am not tempted to check my email after hours.

Congratulations! If you've made it through steps 1 and 2, you have already shown a real commitment to changing your life. Now, you just have to act on all of the hard work and reflections you've done so far.

Before you decide what actions you will take, make a commitment to yourself. What do you ultimately want for yourself and why? This is personal to you and sets the tone of the rest of your burnout recovery. Come back to this statement as challenges arise. Post it somewhere you can see it. Memorize it for the difficult days.

I commit to __________________________________________________________, because _____________________________________________________________.

Example: I commit to prioritizing my loved ones and myself in my day, because its important that I not only watch my children grow up, but that I am an active, physically present participant in their everyday lives, creating lasting memories and a sense of emotional support.

Yes, this is a long, run-on sentence. It's ok. Write what works for you.

Reflecting on your list of possibilities, which solutions stick out to you? Is there one that offers you instant relief? Is there one that may take a personal investment/sacrifice, but will relieve an immense amount of pressure? Identify one or two solutions you want to take on right now. Don't try to commit to everything at once. Give yourself time to make the change and see the results. Check in with yourself regularly to note progress, obstacles, or needed adjustments.

Here's a hard truth... It's difficult to make these changes alone. If you have someone in your circle that would be a good source of support, enlist them to help. Ensure that this is a person who is currently capable and has a history of being supportive. They should be empathetic and be in a mental space that allows them to be kind, understanding, and compassionately honest. Choose wisely. Other sources of support could be a community group, coach, or therapist.

Consider coaching as you to navigate the causes and solutions to your burnout. Schedule your first complimentary coaching session with me, Joy R'zelle Butts .

You can also follow me on LinkedIn @ Active Potential Coaching: https://www.dhirubhai.net/company/active-potential-coaching/