Burned Out from People-Pleasing? 10 Exact Phrases Nonprofit Leaders Can Steal to Set Boundaries

As a nonprofit leader, it's easy to fall into the trap of trying to please everyone—your eager team member, your boss with endless demands, your kids with constant requests, Aunt Tina's needy texts, and even your partner asking for that special dessert.

??The Cost of People-Pleasing in Leadership

That leaves nothing for you. But you can't lead with confidence, compassion, and fairness if you're running on fumes.

• You can't make a calm, confident decision about reallocating resources and maybe even cutting programs during a budget crisis when your mind is racing from back-to-back meetings.
• You can't offer genuine compassion to a team member sharing their struggles about their aggressive client if you're too drained to listen actively.
• You can't mediate a conflict fairly between staff arguing about the tidiness (or lack of it) in their shared workspace fairly when you're overwhelmed and emotionally checked out.

?? The Link Between Boundaries and Better Decision-Making

When you're constantly running on empty, the decisions and interactions that define how people judge your leadership suffer. And your team, your quality of work and the people you serve all feel the impact. That's why setting boundaries isn't just self-care; it's a leadership skill. It allows you to recharge, refocus, and bring your best self to the table.

Boundaries aren't just about protecting your time. They are about preserving your energy and ability to think clearly and stay focused on what matters most. When you effectively set boundaries, it helps you to feel confident, capable, composed, and aligned with your integrity as a leader.

?? A Simple Boundary That Changed Everything for Me

I learned this the hard way. As a nonprofit leader, I often found myself saying yes to tasks I didn't have time for. You'd often find me on a Sunday morning buried in timesheets instead of recharging or tackling things at home. I was exhausted, stretched thin, and feeling like there was no end in sight. Instead of benefiting anyone, my team, my family, or even myself—I was draining the energy I desperately needed to keep going.

I'll never forget the first time I set a clear boundary. There was a leadership meeting in the city, and normally, I would have flown out the morning of the meeting, stayed overnight, and done the second day before coming home the following night. It meant being gone for almost two days, and I'd always come back completely drained.

But this time, I decided to do things differently. If I stayed overnight, I'd miss my kids having activities that I wanted to be a part of. So, I told my boss I'd prefer to join the meeting via conference call instead. (This was back before Zoom!) To my surprise, my boss said 'OK' without much thought. I couldn't believe how simple it was and how much energy and presence I saved for my family and work by speaking up.

It took courage to set that boundary, but before I could do that, I had to figure out how to say it. Sometimes, I nailed down the "right" phrase with my coach or worked through several variations in my journal before I landed on the one that felt right.

???How to Say No Gracefully and Protect Your Energy

I often hear from my clients and students that they get it, but they don't know the "exact" words to use. No problem, I've got you covered. If you

Need help communicating your boundaries? Here are practical examples you can borrow:

• I'm offline after 6. Let's connect tomorrow.
• I'm prioritizing family time tonight. Can we discuss this in the morning?
• I've blocked Fridays for focus work. Let's touch base on Monday.
• I don't check emails after hours, but I'll respond first thing tomorrow.
• I'll need to wrap this conversation up in 10 minutes to stay on schedule.
• Let's add that to the agenda for our next meeting so we can give it the time it deserves.
• I can take this on, but it will mean pushing [another task] to a later date. Does that work for you?

Remember, leadership isn't about doing everything for everyone—it's about doing what matters most with the energy and clarity to do it well. Boundaries allow you to lead decisively, compassionately, and fairly without sacrificing your own well-being.

?? A Small Change That Helped One Leader Reclaim Her Time

Looking back, setting boundaries didn't just save my energy—it made me a better leader. I stopped overcommitting, became more present for my team and family, and felt more confident in my decisions. I've seen this with my clients, too:

One of my clients was struggling with her days being packed with back-to-back meetings and no time to get her administrative work done. By mid-morning, she'd already feel frazzled and behind. Together, we worked on setting a clear boundary: she started blocking off the first 30 minutes of her day for preparation and made it clear that meetings couldn't be scheduled during that time.

At first, she worried about how her team might react, but the response was overwhelmingly positive. Over time, her team began respecting her time and even started setting healthier boundaries for themselves. That small adjustment made a big difference for everyone.

?? Save These Phrases and Start Setting Boundaries Today

Here are seven more phrases you can steal to set clear boundaries

• I have another commitment at that time, but I'm available [suggest time].
• I'm taking a break from meetings this afternoon to catch up on work. Let's follow up tomorrow.
• I can't commit to that right now, but here's what I can do instead.
• I can only stay for 30 minutes, but I'm happy to contribute during that time.
• I'm fully booked this week, but here's a resource that might help in the meantime.
• I'm currently focusing on a high-priority project. Can we revisit this next week?
• I'm happy to brainstorm solutions with you, but I can't take the lead on this task right now.

Save these phrases and use them to set clear boundaries, manage your energy, and prevent burnout. By protecting your time and staying aligned with your values, you'll maintain the stamina to handle your responsibilities while producing quality work and building strong relationships.

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