Buried in the winter

“They say what’s buried in winter is found again in spring” words from a song by Joshua Radin. The first time I heard this?song?‘When I’m with you’ was in Goa many years ago, when I had gone for a coaching session. During my downtime, between the sessions, I was watching a movie and this soundtrack caught my fancy.

The invisible thread that connects my life from one year to the next pops up unexpectedly, as I happen to chance upon the song (which I had downloaded on my phone). Listening to it again took me for a ride down memory lane. I got to revisit Goa and that afternoon, remember old friends and colleagues, which in itself was a gift. But this time the haunting melody and thought “They say what’s buried in winter comes out in spring” stays with me long after the music stopped. I find inspiration in this line. It seems to ask me two questions.?The song is just the same, but so much in my life has changed since I last listened to it.

I am more tuned in to what is going on within and I ask myself?“What am I burying?” And more importantly, “What am I planting?”?Nature does not differentiate between the act of burying and planting.?What is deep within will eventually find its way to the surface. The roots take hold and they grow and then when the season is right, from those seeds, the plant burst forth or breaks through.?

I was burying hurt and anger. For misdeeds and misfortunes that I first blamed others for and then myself. Recognising these feelings releases, me from their grip. Learn from it, I tell myself. Examine what happened. The passage of time allows the mind to see what the heartfelt. The emotions are often raw right after something happens, but with time they ripen and the sweet fruit of learning is now available.?I am able to consume these feelings now, rather than be consumed by them.

Enthused with this experience, I have decided to plant the seeds of feelings this year. To sprinkle a few handfuls of them in the ground and see which will grow. Not to be concerned about which ones take root and which do not. Do not try and allow only certain ones to grow I tell myself. Blocking out the bad, refusing to acknowledge them has been a way to lay still the storm. But along with that blocking, a stillness settles in across the rainbow of emotions and for too long the colours have not burst forth. Let all of them bloom is the thought that I now hold dear. The garden will be richer, more diverse and along with some weeds and nettles that will sure sting, flowers and trees will flourish.

All feelings have a role to play in life and they must be allowed their time and space. For too long I have suppressed the so-called negative ones, not realising that in doing that I have not nurtured the positive either.?Thankfully that has changed this winter. Or at least the intention to change it has grown strong and tiny seedlings of hope have sprouted. Let’s see what the spring brings forth in the garden of my life.

What are you burying? What are you planting?

As you sow, so shall you reap.

Spring is coming.