The Burden of Face

"We don't want to look dull".

"I can't look stupid".

"We'll look foolish".

These are the words of the prudent and wise - or so we are taught to believe. In reality, this is fear manifesting itself as wisdom.

Yes, avoid being reckless. Yes, proceed with caution. Yes, make decisions based on facts and logic. All that said, too often decisions are delayed or simply not taken because we, collectively, don't want to lose Face.

What is "Face". Face is how you appear to the world. To maintain Face is to be seen as competent, reasonable, and capable. To lose Face is to diminish your peers' esteem for you, and therefore your effectiveness (best case) and your self worth (worst case). This norm is cultural, unwritten, and has varying degrees of importance and impact depending on the context and place. And it is what stops progress and improvement dead in its tracks.

Making decisions is hard and anticipating the outcome of a decision even harder. We have brilliant people and now, AI, doing amazing things with data models that try to predict what is going to happen. The fact is, even if the data model predicts an outcome, how that outcome is received by people is effectively what matters -- the perception of success or failure is more important than the reality of that success or failure.

Face is the governor of our decision making, regardless of what the data tells us because nobody wants to be seen as a dope (I sure don't). The result: stuff doesn't get done or is done in such a way that the outcome is muted or diminished. Face is preserved, but at what cost?

Here's the point in the article where some folks might be saying "well, duh". Well duh indeed! Let's get to the point - my modest proposal: lose Face. Embrace your foolishness. Allow yourself a beginner's mind. Be cautious, prudent, and mindful as part of your well-reasoned decision-making process, but not as a manifestation of fear. Know that you will make errors. Know that your judgement isn't perfect. Know that you will appear foolish and, in that vulnerability, you will be relatable, you will be human - and in the process, more humane.

This is a practice (a journey that I am on myself) and one will ebb and flow - awareness of motives and reasons (the ol' look in the mirror) is key. Asking why is critical. Discomfort part of the process.

Face is a burden. Relieve yourself of this burden and be open to the world of possibilities. Allow yourself the chance to be wrong, make mistakes, course correct, and learn without the added anguish of preserving Face.