BULLYING, REPORTING, & RETALIATION

Kim Downey Michelle Y. Williams PhD, RN, FADLN, FAAN Zelda Okia, MD Say S.

I’ve seen bullying many times in my career. I’ve learned that good things seldom happen when you report it. You always either get gaslit or there’s retaliation. Sometimes it’s a combination of the two. You’re never met with curiosity or support, especially the first time you make a report.

Recently, I started at a new hospital. There were multiple communication issues prior to day 1. By that I mean I had to send copies of certain credentialing paperwork multiple times. There was confusion about me doing computer onboarding via Teams in advance of my start date. (They scheduled, canceled, then showed up for the meeting and became upset when I wasn’t there). On the first day, a couple of things happened. First, I asked the C-suite representative a clarifying question during orientation. She raised her voice and snapped at me. Later, I was being introduced to one of the other physicians. I reached my hand out to shake hers and she looked at me as if it was a snake.

The next day wasn’t better. I had a colleague swear at me and ask, “Who the hell are you?” as I was trying to introduce myself. Another colleague was swearing obscenities at me when I arrived late for a procedure where she wanted me present and hadn’t bothered to notify me. I witnessed similar communications between the nurses.

This was verbal abuse being openly sanctioned in a place with poor culture. All I told my recruiter was that was a poor fit and I was exercising my 30-day option. The recruiter wasn’t satisfied with that. She wanted to know what, specifically, had happened and with whom. Eventually, I told her. I asked that if she had to report it to the hospital to not use any names.

This was me reporting the bullying. The verbal abuse was extreme enough that I chose not to confront the bullies. I was worried about violence. Furthermore, this was a culture issue, not just one person. (This is also why I asked that no one be named as the bully in any report). I was too new to report this directly to the C-suite. Instead, I went through my supervisor, my recruiter. I followed up our conversation with an email summarizing what we’d discussed. I kept myself entirely safe throughout this part of the process.

Even with my recruiter promising not to name names, I expected retaliation upon my return. Therefore, I worked to prepare. I booked multiple coaching sessions with other coaches. They helped me tone down my emotions concerning these incidents, the individual people, and working in such an environment, as well as the administration that allows such things to continue.

Today, I returned to that job. There was no retaliation. In fact, several of my colleagues and staff acted as if they were walking on eggshells around me. This is proof that when you work on yourself, your environment is changed.

My takeaway is that bullying must be reported. This is the only way we are going to remove bullying from American work culture. However, it must be reported in a way that serves you while still protecting you. No one cares more about your workplace safety than you.

As I reflect on bullying in healthcare, I realize how few people are formally taught how to manage this. Bullies only go away when they don’t get any attention. If you don’t have an emotional reaction to their antics, they become powerless. Coaching gives you the tips, tools, and techniques to do this.