Bullying

Enabling the Teenage Brain – Blog 10?

Book: Coming of Age – How Adolescence Shapes Us (Lucy Foulkes)?

Chapter: The Psychology of bullying?

I have yet to meet someone who hasn’t been bullied at some point in the life, even people who didn’t realise they were bullied at the time, but some years later felt the impact.? I felt the full force of a bully several times and know the experience has a lasting impact.? As Lucy Foulkes writes in this chapter – even one experience increases your risk of mental health problems for many years afterwards.?

Main takeaways from this chapter:?

• As many as eighty-eight percent of bullying incidents take place when there is an audience of other peers.? An outcome focus for a bully is advertising the fact that they are higher up the social hierarchy.? But do they actually achieve their outcome?? ?

• So why bully? The reasons can be many and varied with no concrete certainty as to a cause.? Influences can include family environment, being bullied oneself, a limited capacity for feeling empathy and/or guilt.? ?

• Roles in bullying – ringleader, reinforcers/active supporters, disengaged outsiders, and the defenders.? Most people are disengaged outsiders, perhaps fearful to intervene in any way because the attention may turn on them.? ?

• Research shows that to reduce bullying action must be taken at multiple levels.? This is referred to as a Whole School Approach and may involve whole family groups, mediation sessions, punishment, monitoring behaviour and the number one – changing the behaviour of bystanders who often feel the distress and hurt of the person being bullied.? The bystander challenge relates to the social risk involved and research shows that only a small number of people have the capacity to intervene.? ?

• Prosocial influence – a subtle solution to bullying.? By influencing an entire peer group through subtle and consistent messaging (a positive reinforcement anti-bullying message) the social norms can be changed.? Teenagers are very adaptable and change their perceptions on social norms more than adults do.? By consistently giving voice and focus to prosocial acts the social norms of entire schools can be changed.? Remember bullies are looking for social status and if the higher status is found through prosocial behaviour less bullying can be an outcome.? ?

• Messaging led by young people – studies have demonstrated that peer-led messaging has a more profound impact than adult led, and anti-bullying posters can help shape a different narrative.???

?The impacts of bullying remain for life, they are after all experiences that happened.? Young people who learn to progress in their lives despite being bullied do so because they find a place they are accepted, they find their tribe, a place they feel validated, can contribute to and enjoy.? They have an opposite experience to that of bullying.?

So, what of the young people that NMT support and enable?? They have often struggled at their mainstream school(s) and when they started to attend an NMT course they often describe the experience as different, more fun, relaxed, less hassle, less shouty, etc.? I have even been told by young people who fell out of love with their secondary education by the Christmas of year 7 that they constantly felt misunderstood, not listen to, preached at, they “didn’t get me”.???

Based on the feedback they provide it would not be a surprise if they felt they were bullied by the school itself.? Given the impact highlighted in this chapter of bullying it is no wonder that they are initially suspicious, mistrustful, doubtful, fearful, anxious, etc.?

I have often described the young people who find their way to an NMT centre as rough diamonds, but were they as rough before they started mainstream secondary education?? Our role as educators is to help them polish themselves, to feel the impact of success (no matter how small) and start to believe they can learn, progress and achieve.???

This is no small task, but I genuinely believe that day after day our tutors all demonstrate this is possible.?

?Coming of Age: How Adolescence Shapes Us by Lucy Foulkes review – deep dive into the teenage mind | Health, mind and body books | The Guardian

#teenagers #bullying #secondaryeducation #lucyfoulkes #comingofage

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