Bullying

Saw this article in LinkedIn - great read!

ADULT BULLYING: THE MODERN-DAY MONSTER

Patrick O. Rakiro

Senior School History/Humanities Teacher

January 16, 2024

Wherever you find yourself, up against someone or a group of people who deemed themselves as bigger than you. You will be subject to what is called “adult bullying” to throw you into isolation and depression. These bullies come across as confident, but they use this to mask their own inadequacies. And they will target you whenever they think you are a threat to them. I grew up to believe that if I am nice to people, they would be nice to me. Unfortunately, I learned that life doesn't work like that. We think of bullying as a child issue and well it is. But the grim reality is that one of the greatest oppressors of our modern day is adult bullying. You can have fantastic personal boundaries, but abusive individuals will simply move covertly beyond your boundaries bent solely on getting you to lower your boundaries and get other people to "punish" you. Bullies abuse power, and they will dehumanize the person they bully and tend to switch between being superior and the victim. This kind of bullying is so common that it’s hard to believe it isn’t natural. Bullies will push you out of your neighborhood, associations, college and even workplace, if you don’t act.

Most people can relate to bullying in schools because of the publicity it gets, but in adult bullying the ways and means of bullying are usually more subtle, and more complex. Adult bullies are vested with real power and control. They do it because they can. In too many associations adult bullying is allowed, condoned, accepted, expected, and even rewarded. Sadly, in some associations they are viewed as star performers and even heroes. Bullies are masters in deception, deflecting, manipulation to mask their own insecurities. And they target those who are a threat to them. What saddens me is how the target can go from being a confident, hard-working, solid individual to a very demoralized person.

I really don’t know how best to protect yourself from adult bullies because often the victims are always told to sack it up, but I know you should act. Even if you are smaller than the bully, it is necessary to remember that bullies are cowards. If a bully comes onto you and you react wildly, defensively, and very loudly, they usually will leave you well alone and avoid you in future. Bullies don't like being dared, reported, or exposed in any way. They really are cowards trying to boost their ego, so they look for submissiveness that does not challenge. Protect yourself. Trust me, it's not easy to stand up against adult bullying but I urge you to try and avoid the bully trap.

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