Bullying, Bystanders And Your Health

As explained in previous articles, Bullying And How To Be Successful As A Target | LinkedIn, and How To Recognize Bullying and Mobbing | LinkedIn organizations and HR are not equipped to adequately handle bullying. Due to this, our goal is to continue to assist you in recognizing when bullying is happening and to teach you how to respond.? We strongly desire to help you learn how to prevent the actions of bullies from impacting your health. By knowing what to do in these difficult situations, you can greatly minimize the detrimental effects of workplace bullying to your personal life, mental health and your career.?

We, the authors of this article, have been the targets of workplace bullying and mobbing.? When we experienced these troublesome situations, we lost our direction in life for a time and even questioned our perception of reality.? We are strongly motivated to give you experienced guidance and support during your similar trials.

We understand how being bullied impacts your ability to enjoy your life.? Bullying can leave you very confused and believing that something is very wrong with you. You can begin to feel that you are losing your sanity.? It may feel like you have the wrong perception of events around you and the solution may seem to simply ‘toughen up’.??

You initially may feel impelled to just keep going as you are not a complainer and don't easily give up. You reflect on the fact that you are a mature adult and a professional who has always handled tough situations by yourself with varying degrees of success in the past.?

The thought of seeking the support of Human Resources will seem inviting and like a viable solution to the bullying you experience. However, going to HR will just make matters worse for you. HR will tell you that you need to toughen up, or that you are just misunderstanding the behaviors and motivations of the bullies.? HR may even see you as the aggressor, making things much worse for you.??

Taking the initiative to talk with work colleagues (bystanders) about the details of what is happening to you is also a bad approach. Feeling uncomfortable, they will distance themselves from you and eventually turn against you. This seeming betrayal will send you spiraling further downward and continue to negatively impact your emotional wellbeing. We recommend reading this article about the experiment of the potential sadism of the audience when nothing is off limits, so you understand bystanders’ behavior and why we recommend not to involve them: The Violent Viewer: Rhythm 0 and Subjecting Oneself to Dehumanization | Arts | The Harvard Crimson (thecrimson.com)

PLEASE DO NOT GO TO HR OR TALK WITH YOUR WORK COLLEAGUES!?

If, on the other hand, your work colleagues take the initiative to come to you and divulge their observations about the bullies' attacks on you, let them know that while you agree with them, the only way they can really help the situation (especially since eventually they might become targets) is to go and inform HR.? As unbiased eyewitnesses of specific bullying behaviors towards you they can let their voice and actions speak on your behalf.? Wait and see if they indeed want to help or only desire to share in gossip, which will only make things worse for you.?

We call these types of colleagues ‘bystanders’ because while they see what is happening to you and they understand that the bullying behaviors are unacceptable, most often they will do nothing.? Their inaction sends the message to bullies or mobs that it is okay to continue with the bullying attacks. These colleagues don't realize that they might be the next targets because the bullies and mobs will feel emboldened and invincible if eyewitnesses report nothing and do nothing.

We recommend watching this video cited below.? It demonstrates that it is everyone's responsibility to address injustice and bullying behavior: https://www.tiktok.com/@debts2dollars/video/7368207467798367493.?

Bullying and mobbing behaviors have a substantial impact on the mental and psychological health of targets.? Interestingly bystanders may also suffer these impacts.? There are even many recorded accounts about workplace bullying targets who have committed suicide because no one believed or supported them.? Often workplace authorities completely ignored the behavior of the bully and it's impact on the target. We strongly recommend not to report to HR but that you read and adopt recommendations in this article to stay strong and firm in the face of workplace bullying:? Bullying And How To Be Successful As A Target | LinkedIn.?

Below are the same health effects on those who are attacked by bullies and mobs:

• Feeling sick or anxious before work or when thinking about work
• Having physical symptoms, such as digestive issues or high blood pressure
• A higher risk for type 2 diabetes
• Trouble waking up or getting quality sleep and sweat during night sleep
• Somatic symptoms, such as headaches and decreased appetite?
• Panic attacks, depression, suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem and doubting their abilities, or feeling like they want to cry most of the time
• Continuous fear and anxiety without a valid reason
• Losing interest in things they usually like to do
• Self-doubt, or wondering if they have imagined the bullying
• Wanting to hide and sleep most of the time and do nothing
• Missing work and not enjoying work
• Losing trust in anyone and everyone
• Getting sick more often
• Difficulty concentrating
• On edge and nervous most of the time
• Some people will even commit suicide as a result of intense bullying or mobbing

If you feel you are experiencing any of the above effects, please listen to your body, heart, and mind telling you that something is very wrong.? Stop questioning yourself and your perceptions. You are right to feel that something is wrong because it is.?

Please take care of yourself.? See a therapist, go walking, enjoy hobbies, spend time with your family and supportive friends.??

When you conclude work for the day do not mentally take your work with you. Stop thinking about it.? Do not think that you are weak and that you simply need to toughen up and act like nothing is wrong because this will only make things worse for your mental and psychological health.?

You can handle a bully with these professional recommendations.? You can continue to perform your job well until you can find a better fit for you. You can stay sane.??

Bullying is happening in many organizations and the best outcome for targets is obtained by becoming a Pro on how to handle bullies.

If you need support, please reach out to us to discuss how we can help you. We hope that this follow up article provides you with some resources and ideas on how to handle workplace bullying. Remember you have the POWER!? You are not the problem!? Do not be afraid to be yourself at work. Continue to accomplish awesome things! Do not give your POWER to the BULLIES!

Author: Elena Balasa linkedin.com/in/elenabalasa

Co- Author: Gean Van Horn linkedin.com/in/gean-van-horn

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