No Bullsh!t: Consulting for the no-nonsense types (sample draft excerpt)

Prelude:

Congratulations, smarty pants! You've spent years in school, racking up degrees like they’re going out of style. You’ve got that coveted MBA, MS, Ph.D, JD, CNBC, CNN, ABCDEFG, (insert letters here)….basically, an expensive trophy for your bookshelf, and maybe even a diploma or two gathering dust in the attic (not sure how many houses have attics now, but you get the point). You've emerged from the academic cocoon ready to spread your wings and take on the professional consulting world. But before you start strutting around like a know-it-all, let’s have a reality check about how the real world actually works. First off, remember all those neat theories and frameworks you memorized? Toss them in the blender at best. In academia, you learn to approach the world as if everything operates in perfect harmony. In reality, consulting is more like jazz—improvisational and often out of tune. Clients rarely fit into those pristine textbook scenarios, and you'll find yourself in chaotic situations where “right” answers are more mythical than an honest person on Wall Street. In school, every problem came neatly packaged with a bow on top. You got all the info you needed to solve it—straightforward, like solving a Rubik's Cube with the cheat sheet in hand. Out here, the problems are messy, tangled, and wrapped in duct tape, ego, profit and loss, and emotion. Information is missing, priorities shift like sand dunes, and clarity? Forget it. You’ll need to develop a sixth sense for ambiguity, and maybe a seventh one for deciphering what your client actually wants.

Remember those solo projects and the glory of individual achievements? Wave them goodbye (sometimes). Consulting is a team sport (again, sometimes, we'll talk more later) where you’re only as good as your weakest link—and trust me, sometimes that link is holding on with dried up Scotch tape. You’ll need to master the art of teamwork, communication, and sometimes playing therapist to a stressed-out colleague. Oh, and about deadlines: they’re about as predictable as a cat on caffeine. In academia, you knew exactly when your assignments were due, allowing you to plan (or procrastinate) accordingly. In consulting, timelines change on a whim, usually when you're in the middle of a long weekend or planning a much-needed vacation. Agility and quick thinking are your new best friends.

Then there’s the small matter of decision-making. In school, decisions were logical, based on solid analysis and tidy models. In the real world, decisions are made in the whirlwind of stakeholder agendas, office politics, and sometimes pure chaos. You’re going to need to charm, persuade, and occasionally Jedi mind-trick your way through these situations. And let’s not forget the difference between case studies and real clients.

Those case studies with clear-cut solutions? Think of them as fairy tales. Real clients come with complex problems, emotions, completely unrealistic expectations, a lack of resources, and budget constraints. Good luck trying to solve those with a pie chart. Finally, while you were busy perfecting theoretical knowledge and acing exams, the real world was sharpening its need for soft skills. Those warm, fuzzy, interpersonal skills like negotiation, persuasion, and emotional intelligence will be the difference between success and becoming a cautionary tale at the office holiday party. ?So, while your shiny degrees have given you a solid foundation, they’re not a golden ticket to consulting super-stardom. No one is going to hold your hand, give you a syllabus and tell you what to do. This is grown up life now and the real world is a jungle, not a classroom. It’s messy, unpredictable, and often hilariously frustrating

In this book, we’ll arm you with the tools to navigate this jungle, blend what you know with a healthy dose of reality, and help you become a consultant who not only survives but actually thrives (assuming you’re willing to work). Buckle up—it’s going to be a wild ride. Welcome to the dynamic world of consulting, where every day is a new adventure filled with opportunities, challenges, and the unexpected. This guide is your roadmap through this vibrant landscape, designed to cut through the bullshit noise and equip you with the practical insights you need to not just survive but thrive in this exhilarating field. Consulting is not for the faint-hearted, but the rewards—solving complex problems, transforming businesses, and being at the forefront of change—are mostly worth the ride.

Why Consulting?

The Thrill of the Game: What Makes Consulting Exciting

Consulting is more than just a career; it's an adventure. That’s what your recruiter is going to sell you at least. The reality is consulting is about diving headfirst into diverse industries, working with a variety of clients, and tackling problems that others haven't been able to solve. Remember that work part? Yeah, that’s you. The excitement of consulting lies in the variety and complexity of the challenges you’ll face. One day, you might be helping a tech startup optimize its operations, and the next, you could be guiding a multinational corporation through a digital transformation.

Every project is a new puzzle, and every client is a new opportunity to learn and grow. Consulting offers the unique chance to see how different businesses operate and to make a tangible impact on their success. The skills you develop as a consultant are not only valuable across industries but are also highly sought after, giving you the ability to shape your career in ways you might not have imagined.

Breaking the Mold: How This Book is Different

Many books on consulting offer the same tired advice and generic strategies. This book attempts to break the mold by providing a fresh, practical approach to mastering consulting skills, adding some real-life sarcasm to otherwise pretty boring information you could otherwise Google. We focus on real-world applications, giving you the tools you need to handle the messy, unpredictable situations that consultants face every day.

Our approach is straightforward and no-nonsense, cutting through the jargon to deliver actionable insights that you can use immediately. We’re not making any friends within this book. We’ll give you the stuff your professor who consulted for 2 years in 1974 didn’t tell you because it wasn’t specifically laid out within the same book they’ve used since Bush Sr. was president. Whether you're looking to land your first consulting gig or elevate your existing career, the goal is this book will help you stand out from the crowd and become the consultant everyone wants to hire.

What You'll Learn (Okay, I’ll reign it in for a second).

Practical Skills with a No-Nonsense Approach

In this book, you'll learn the core skills that every successful consultant needs. From mastering the art of communication and negotiation to understanding complex data analysis and project management, we'll cover it all. Our focus is on practical, no-nonsense advice that you can implement from day one.

You'll gain insights into the latest tools and technologies that are shaping the consulting world and learn how to leverage them to your advantage. We'll also delve into the softer skills—like empathy and adaptability—that are often overlooked but are crucial for building strong client relationships and delivering exceptional results. I’m personally partial to Microsoft technologies because that’s my experience, but we’ll try to cover others as well. The point is not to read this book and know everything, but to get you to start thinking like someone who has a brain of their own, and build skills that allow you to execute your ideas quickly.

How to Be the Consultant Everyone Wants to Hire

What sets top consultants apart is not just their technical skills but their ability to build trust and deliver value consistently. In this book, you'll discover how to develop a personal brand that showcases your unique strengths and expertise. You'll learn how to position yourself as an indispensable partner to your clients, offering insights and solutions that drive real results.

We'll explore strategies for networking and building a robust professional reputation, helping you to attract clients and opportunities that align with your career goals. By the end of this book, you'll be equipped with the knowledge and confidence to conquer the business world and make your mark as a consultant. Can I go back to being sarcastic now please, I’m boring myself….

Part 1: Mastering the Art of Communication

Yeah…you DEFINITELY heard this during your college course. Communication is important. But those fake presentations you did were a load of shit, and your professor passes the class through to the next so they don’t have to hear them again. In the real world, If you’re stumbling over your words and failing to get your point across, congratulations—you’ve just made your consulting life a lot more interesting. It's not the end of the world, but expect to be juggling extra challenges. This is the skill of communication, and learn it fast and well or risk getting stored in a back office doing the work no one else wanted to do. Communication is your ticket to transcend a life of mundane paper pushing and really have a shot at making change, or pushing out ideas. If you suck, improve. Instead of sweating it, see this right now as a chance to up your game. Dive into improving those communication skills, or keep grinding forms for eternity. You’ve got the chance to turn your biggest hurdle into your greatest triumph.

Said more politely, communication is the cornerstone of successful consulting. As a consultant, your ability to convey ideas, influence decision-makers, and foster collaboration will set you apart from the competition. That doesn’t mean you’ll fail instantly, but you will have to work hard to make it work. In this section, we’ll explore how to master the art of communication to build strong relationships and drive impactful change.

Chapter 1: Speaking the Language of Influence

In consulting, your ideas are your currency, and how you present them can make or break your success. Whether you're pitching a new concept to a potential client or presenting findings to a board of directors, your ability to influence and persuade is crucial. This chapter will guide you through crafting compelling pitches and presentations that capture attention and inspire action.

Crafting Killer Pitches and Presentations

Let’s face it—when it comes to crafting pitches and presentations, we’ve all been there: staring at a “deck” of slides that feels more like a game of solitaire. Why do we call them decks, anyway? Probably because if you’re not careful, it can end up feeling like you’re playing a losing hand, or maybe someone just punched you in the face. Mastering the art of the killer pitch is less about having a flashy deck and more about making sure your audience is eagerly reaching for their wallets—or at least their applause. We’re about to turn that deck into a showstopper.

Crafting a killer pitch or presentation is an art form that transcends merely designing a set of slides. It’s about creating a narrative that not only captures attention but also resonates with your audience on a deeper level. (Just keep in mind, people eat with their eyes, so it can’t look like a pile of junk). The journey begins with understanding your audience inside and out. Think of it as stepping into their shoes—what are their biggest challenges, goals, and aspirations? By immersing yourself in their world, you can tailor your message to speak directly to their needs and concerns, ensuring that your pitch feels both personal and pertinent.

With a deep understanding of your audience, you can then hone in on your core message—the heart of your presentation. This isn’t just a tagline; it’s the central idea that will anchor your entire pitch. Everything in your presentation should revolve around this key message, creating a cohesive and compelling narrative. If any element doesn’t support or enhance this central idea, it risks diluting your impact. Some people like words, I like 15 words or less per slide. Knowing who you’re talking to is key.

The beginning of your presentation is your golden opportunity to set the stage and grab attention. Instead of a conventional opening, think about starting with something that will captivate and intrigue your audience. A surprising statistic, a powerful story, or a thought-provoking question can create an immediate connection and spark curiosity, drawing your audience into the rest of your narrative.

Once you have their attention, the next step is to structure your content in a way that guides your audience effortlessly through your pitch. Regardless of your audience, just promise you won’t read me every word on the slide verbatim like in a kindergarten circle time. Organize your information logically, using clear headings and bullet points to break down complex ideas into manageable chunks. This structured approach helps your audience follow along and stay engaged, preventing them from getting lost in a sea of information.

Visuals play a crucial role in reinforcing your message, but they should be used strategically. High-quality images, charts, and infographics can illustrate your points and make abstract concepts more concrete. However, they should always complement your spoken words, not overshadow them. The key is to use visuals to enhance understanding and retention, making your message more memorable. If don’t know a timeline from a Gannt chart- uhhh….use the internet. Not only can you find BEAUTIFUL examples of slides online, sometimes folks let you download and customize them. Do not reinvent the wheel here. Also, did you even check if your company or client has a template they prefer? Do your homework before you waste time and energy- your two most valuable resources.

Finally, the success of your pitch hinges on how effectively you deliver it. Practice is your ally here—rehearse until your delivery feels smooth and natural. Pay attention to your tone, pacing, and body language, as these elements significantly impact how your message is received. Practicing in front of a mirror, recording yourself, or presenting to a friendly audience can provide valuable insights and help you refine your approach. Yes, this feels silly and stupid. You’ll learn to talk to yourself in no time. Being well-prepared not only boosts your confidence but also ensures that your delivery is impactful and engaging.

Now, let’s talk about when the shit hits the fan at warp speed. Imagine this: you are 3 minutes into a 20 minute deck when the client stops you and wants to get to the point. Deep breath, you’ve got this. Just remember, you’re there for them, they’re paying for your time, it’s essential to stay open and adaptable. Instead of sticking rigidly to your prepared material, embrace the new direction with a positive attitude. Acknowledge the shift and show appreciation for the client’s input. For example, you might say, “That’s a great point; let’s explore that further.” This approach not only demonstrates your flexibility but also shows that you value the client’s perspective.

To smoothly guide the conversation back to the core objectives, use strategic transitions. Highlight how the new direction aligns with or impacts your main points. Phrases like, “This new angle actually ties into our next topic…” can help bridge the gap between the unexpected detour and your planned content.

Keep a flexible mindset and adapt your agenda on the fly if necessary. Be prepared to integrate the client’s new focus into your presentation, enriching your discussion while ensuring you still cover the essential elements. If time becomes a concern, adjust your pace to ensure all key topics are addressed, possibly suggesting a follow-up meeting to delve deeper into the new direction if needed.

Engaging with the client’s interests and showing your willingness to adapt will strengthen your relationship and demonstrate your commitment to their needs. By handling these deviations gracefully, you not only keep the presentation relevant but also build trust and rapport with your client.

In summary, creating a killer pitch is about more than just presenting information; it’s about crafting a compelling story that engages your audience, reinforces your key message, and leaves a lasting impression. By understanding your audience, focusing your message, starting with a strong hook, structuring your content clearly, using visuals effectively, and delivering with confidence, you’ll be well on your way to making your pitch truly unforgettable.

1. Know Your Audience: Understand the needs, concerns, and motivations of the people you’re addressing. Tailor your message to address their specific interests and pain points. This may seem like common sense, but reread this 100 times. I see this missed most often than any other skill I’ll outline.
2. Define Your Key Message: Identify the core message you want to convey and build your presentation around it. Keep it clear and concise, ensuring that every slide and point supports your main objective. Hint, they only care about how what you're pitching makes their life easier and what you need from them to get it done, so prioritize that.
3. Start with a Hook: Capture your audience’s attention from the outset with a powerful opening statement, a surprising fact, or a compelling story. Set the tone for an engaging and memorable presentation.
4. Structure with Clarity: Organize your content logically, using a clear structure that guides your audience through your narrative. Use headings, bullet points, and visuals to break down complex information into digestible pieces.
5. Use Visuals Effectively: Visuals can enhance understanding and retention, but they should complement—not overpower—your message. Use images, charts, and infographics to support your points and make abstract concepts concrete. Data is important but at the same time, this is a presentation not an art project.
6. Practice Delivery: Rehearse your presentation multiple times to ensure smooth delivery. Pay attention to your tone, pacing, and body language, and be prepared to adapt your style to suit different audiences. In general- if you put 30+ words on each slide and read them verbatim, you’re dead me to within 2 slides.
7. Be Ready for Plan B: Always having a backup strategy prepared in case your initial approach goes awry. Anticipate potential detours and have alternative solutions or content at hand to seamlessly adapt to new directions. Flexibility and preparedness ensure that even if things don’t go as planned, you can maintain control and deliver a successful presentation.

So, you did all of the work and now you have a new and shiny deck, wait a minute, you’re not done. Go through these checklist items first and make changes as needed.

Does it Look Like a PowerPoint Graveyard?

If your deck is packed with tacky clip art and Comic Sans, it’s time for a makeover. But…how do I know what looks good?! Look at other presentations your client has seen or that the resident superstar has done within your company…that’s your minimum bar to meet.

Is Your Audience Nodding Off?

If your slides are inducing snooze-fests, you’re missing the “wow” factor. OR, you missed the point of the presentation all together. In the real world its also possible that your client is just having a bad day and doesn’t want to sit through another presentation.

Is It a Wordy Wonderland?

If your slides are overflowing with text, you’re doing it wrong. Less is more. I’m a lean guy by nature. I like 10-20 words on a slide. Sometimes clients expect more or less. Yes…I’m about to tell you to remember your audience AGAIN…

Can You Read It from the Back of the Room?

If you need binoculars to read the text, it’s too small. Make it legible. This should be common sense, but since we haven’t covered common sense yet, I’ll remind us.

Are Your Bullet Points a Marathon?

Long lists of bullet points are boring. Keep it brief and to the point. You’re preparation for the presentation doesn’t mean the client needs to know every minute detail you learned. You’re not here to impress them with what you know, you’re here to solve the problem they care about.

Are Your Charts for Dummies?

If your audience needs an interpreter for your charts, simplify. Less clutter, clearer message. Audience is key here, some audiences can handle it, some cannot.

Is There a Call to Action?

If you’re not telling people what to do next, why should they care? Make it direct and simple. Remember, what’s it in for them and what do you need from them to make it so.

Did You Proofread?

Typos and errors are not cute. They’re distractions, and trust me, you’ll have clients that won’t tolerate them kindly. Fix them. This is not limited to words either, alignment and visual errors need attention. Consider any errors you see in the book all part of the plan....a seek and find....sure, let's go with that.

Is Your Deck on a Sugar High?

Flashy animations are for kids. Keep it sleek and professional. Is there a template your company or client has? Start there.

Can You Present It Without Stumbling?

If you’re fumbling through your slides, practice more. Less text means less chance to screw it up. It takes about 10 seconds to hear if you’re reading through it for the first time. At the same time, keep it loose. Everyone’s afraid of robots.

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