Bullied! …. Time to Realize This!!
Today, we are in the era of Instagram, where we can speak freely about what we want to, and we will still get judged, ridiculed, and trolled. But isn’t it safe to say that it was never the exposure of social media? That’s right! Being judged, bullied, or trolled has been going on since the great kings, who are currently considered the epitome in our Indian History chapters. Believe me, since then, we have just created better spaces for bullies to get their ways of satiating the need to harass others.
Well, psychology says bullies are created because they want to hide their insecurities, they feel inferior in front of someone (their targets!), or they are just afraid of losing their so-called reputation. But can we not just think for once that it can be because of the nature they imbibe from either of their parents or close relatives, and it just cannot change?
Some people bully not because they are afraid, but because they are super rich and they just feel the need to show it off by being mean to others. Say for example, what we see in the notions of high school elite web series, where the richest of the kids take a toll on the scholarship-based students or even middle-class ones, because they just feel that they CAN, with all the money their parents have. The fact that nobody considers is, this isn’t psychology, this is the attitude of having something and feeling superior amongst others.
I am not saying that all rich kids do that, but it's just an example of it. A person’s perception differs from every angle and every situation, but the judgement once made remains constant and only closeness, friendship and relations can change it. But again, judgment is always hidden deep down in all of us, and one wrong negative move triggers it out as either revenge, ego problem, vengeance- and hence the whole bully scenario!
Why am I saying this and who am I saying this for? Let me tell you a small story. It took me a lot of courage to tell this…so here goes nothing. I am a FAT girl. Yes! A girl with a lot of flesh all over my body, enough to be seen in any gathering as a “Hot Conversation on How Fat she Looks”. I have always been like that. So, it is true that you can assume that I was bullied a lot in my childhood. From my friends to even my closest relatives, I was named differently all of my life. By saying all of this my intention is not to gain sympathy but to announce that THIS STILL HAPPENS. I was called “Fat Bimbo with Specs”, and “Bull”, and common I don’t need to produce words out of my mouth, there are influencers and movies made about bullying a fat girl. Oh sorry! A fat girl with specs!
Truth be told, I used to be that one crybaby initially when it began. My mother and family used to console me that “they are just your sisters/brothers/uncles-blah blah, messing with you”, “grow up child, its nothing to be cried for”, and “it's just a moment, it will pass”. But what they didn’t know was, it affected me mentally, it stressed me, made me fearful of wearing anything, showing up to school, making friends, being comfortable with everyone around, smiling and laughing genuinely, and respecting others.
As growing age, I accepted the fact that people will speak, they will judge, and will bully me for a fact that what I am today, they cannot be that ever. But what I did not realize is that they don’t feel inferior about my success, the people who tend to bully me always had the tendency to them no matter how much success I became or how much good my people-appearance is. We always see memes and posts about our families, relatives, and friends- about how marks are compared, how one is judged on carrying a particular body type, how bold they can be, their preferences, and oh god! So many factors, and if I start typing, it will become a social media summary of memes! (Which you can find via HASHTAGS)
Over time, I realized that I was not just the one bullied because of being fat, people were bullied because they were way too slim, or even a little fat, or too poor, or even too rich. Take Anant Ambani getting married to Radhika Merchant as a fresh example, or Bollywood celebrities serving dinner to the guests of Ambani or sitting on the ground at an Ambani wedding. So basically, what was a mere gesture of hospitality, the media judged Ambani’s and tagged them as bullies to the celebrities because they are the RICHEST families in India. What was just a simple love story between two people irrespective of their looks, became a troll of how fat Anant is, and Radhika is marrying him just for his money-even though she hails from an accomplished background herself!
Concluding this! I only have learned from all of my experiences, that judgment is easier, and can lead to bully and getting trolled situations- but it's not because the culprit is himself a victim- it can be because he wants to bully out of no reason of his own to satiate the need of his/her superiority. What one can do is ignore, fight or repent back, but what one actually should do is not let it dent your mental capacity of proving yourself what you are capable of. I know where I stand today! Still Trolled, and bullied, but yet making my way to success- for myself, and not for others!