A Bullied and Resilient Child

This blog is really personal for me and it exposes some of the deepest emotions that a parent can have. Our 12 year old son has Autism and was diagnosed when he was 3. He is quirky, funny and so incredibly sweet. He desperately wants to be accepted and doesn’t have a mean bone in his body but this youthful and gentle child also gets bullied.

Being bullied often doesn’t get easier as kids get older…it can get worse. Here are some things that we do to try and help our son be resilient:

Keep Calm - It’s hard for me to keep the “mama bear” emotions under control sometimes but I need to as his reaction often mirrors mine. If I am calm then he is calm. Helping him to manage his emotions when he feels hurt and angry is a great way to overcome the bully.

Why Me – We don’t go there. Nobody wins with the “why me” questions. We instead try and ask “how” and “what” questions. How should you react when kids make fun of you? What can we do to avoid this situation in the future? We talk through what happened and look for solutions instead of camping on the problem.

Be Comfortable - Kids should never have to change who they are to be accepted. It’s OK if you are not popular. It’s OK if you don’t like to play sports or an instrument. It’s OK if you don’t understand jokes and sarcasm. Be comfortable with who you are and what you love to do.

Practice What I Preach – I try and model the advice I give because he is often watching and listening. Sometimes the greatest (most humbling) lesson I can give him is to show him how to fail and pick yourself up again.

We cannot live our lives in a bubble but we can teach our kids how to thrive and rise above their challenges. A bullied child can also be a resilient child!