Building Your Persona - Assertiveness

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The Day I Discovered the Magic of Assertiveness

Picture this: a courtroom buzzing with tension as I stood as a young lawyer facing the opposing legal counsel. With a knot in my stomach, I realized this negotiation could make or break my client’s case. It was in that pivotal moment that I discovered the transformative power of assertiveness.

Hello, dear loyal reader! [and warm welcome to the new subscribers this month].

In today’s fast-paced professional services world, the ability to assert yourself is not just valuable—it’s indispensable. Whether you’re navigating negotiations or striving to grow your firm, harnessing the art of assertiveness can set you apart and propel your success.

By infusing your interactions with assertiveness, you can navigate the complexities of the legal landscape with clarity and confidence, positioning yourself for success in every endeavor.

Not only does assertiveness help you, as a professional to build a stronger personal brand, but it also contributes to the rapid growth of your practice.

In this short edition of our newsletter, we'll explore why assertiveness is so crucial and provide a step-by-step action plan for lawyers and other professionals to cultivate this vital skill.

But first -

Why Assertiveness Matters

Thinking about this question, I came up with a few possible reasons that are important to every professional in every industry (you ??):

1. Effective Communication: Assertive lawyers and other professionals communicate their needs, expectations, and boundaries clearly, reducing misunderstandings and fostering stronger client relationships.
2. Professional Confidence: Assertiveness exudes confidence, which can enhance your credibility with clients, colleagues, and in courtrooms.
3. Negotiation Prowess: The ability to assert your position effectively can be a game-changer in negotiations, leading to better outcomes for your clients.
4. Personal Brand Building: Assertive individuals are often seen as strong leaders and influencers, which can significantly boost personal brand perception.
5. Practice Growth: By being assertive, lawyers and other professionals can take charge of business development opportunities, drive strategic decisions, and accelerate the growth of their practice.

As you can see the consequences of not being assertive are real. This can result in missed opportunities, unresolved conflicts, and potential business losses.

So if you agree, can I show you an accelerated way to build your assertiveness?

Steps to Become More Assertive

Becoming more assertive is a journey that involves a mix of mindset shifts and practical techniques.

Based on training developed and delivered by me for many law firms, and my mentoring with many professionals from all over the world, by following these steps, you're not only improving your assertiveness but also taking meaningful strides towards a more effective and fulfilling legal career. Try integrating these techniques into your daily interactions and watch your confidence and effectiveness grow:

#1 Self-Reflection and Awareness

Start by understanding your current communication style. Reflect on past interactions – were you passive, aggressive, or assertive? Identify areas where you could be more assertive.

#2 Set Clear Goals

Then, define what assertiveness looks like for you. Is it speaking up in meetings, negotiating more confidently, or setting boundaries with clients? Having clear goals will guide your efforts.

#3 Practice Non-Verbal Cues

Unfortunately, many professionals forget this important step too often. Your body language speaks volumes. Your body language can either enhance or undermine your assertiveness.

Practice maintaining eye contact, using a firm handshake, and adopting an open posture. These non-verbal cues can reinforce your assertive communication.

#4 Use “I” Statements

Frame your thoughts and requests around “I” statements. For example, say “I feel...” or “I need...” instead of “You should...” This approach reduces defensiveness and clearly communicates your perspective.

#5 Learn to Say No

I personally struggled with this step for years. However, I learned to start small by declining smaller requests and gradually moving to bigger commitments. Politely decline tasks that overburden you, and offer alternatives if possible.

[*I promise when you practice it you will see how much more quality time enters your schedule].

#6 Prepare and Practice

Before important conversations or negotiations or a challenging meeting, plan what you want to say, prepare your points and practice assertively expressing them. Role-playing scenarios with a trusted colleague can be incredibly beneficial.

#7 Manage Emotions

The next step is to stay calm and composed, even in challenging situations. Practice deep breathing or mindfulness techniques to maintain your assertiveness without becoming aggressive.

#8 Seek Feedback

You can not become fully assertive without feedback. So, ask for feedback from colleagues or mentors about your assertiveness. Constructive criticism can provide valuable insights and areas for improvement.

#9 Regular Reflection

This is an important step to make assertiveness a new trait. Make it a habit to reflect on your assertiveness progress regularly. Celebrate your successes and identify areas where you can continue to grow.

#10 Continuous Learning

Consider workshops or courses focused on assertiveness training. Books, podcasts, or webinars can also provide valuable tips and techniques.

Feel free to reach out to me if you’re interested in growing your assertiveness skills and strengthening your legal practice!

The Right Balance

This edition will not be complete without at least mentioning the negative side of being too assertive.

In a study conducted by Daniel Ames and Francis Flynn from Columbia University, they identified the issue of excessive assertiveness. In their study titled ‘What Breaks a Leader: The Curvilinear Relation Between Assertiveness and Leadership,’ they discovered a link between heightened assertiveness and short-term success.

However, this comes at a social expense. Excessive assertiveness can make one "socially insufferable."

Every strength carries an inherent weakness, and with assertiveness, it’s crucial to strike the right balance. So please keep it in mind.

The Secret Weapon

As I learned over the years, assertiveness is more than just a communication style – it’s a powerful tool for shaping your career, building a robust personal brand, and propelling your law practice to new heights.

Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive or confrontational. Think of it as conveying your needs and expectations clearly and respectfully.

As I shared with you in short in this edition, by becoming more assertive, you can navigate the legal landscape with greater confidence, influence, and effectiveness.

Have you ever felt like you’re not being heard in negotiations or client meetings? Do you sometimes agree to requests you should decline? If so, you know it’s time to boost your assertiveness.

Doing so can help you negotiate better deals, and solve problems more effectively, leading to better client relationships and accelerating the growth of your practice.

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How do you use assertiveness and elevate your legal practice or career?

Please share your comments and input with me, I read every comment personally.

Have you joined my new course on Networking with Results?

???I’ve spent the past 15 years helping professionals like you grow their practice and careers by cultivating the relationships that matter and stand out. I took everything I’ve learned and practiced and put it in a professionally produced online course. You can grab it for a special price right now. ? here and get access to the content, community, and coaching you need to grow your practice or

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If you have any specific questions regarding building client relationships, please send us an e-mail and I will be happy to help.

Until the next edition…

SWITCH ON and keep them loyal!

Warmly,

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Itzik is considered the global leading authority on business development, business networking, client relationships, and personal branding. He is a highly sought-after international speaker, trainer, business mentor, & attorney-at-law. He is also the bestselling author of “The Attention Switch” & Founder of THE SWITCH?? , the leading online training, education and done-for-you platform for professionals globally. Itzik teaches, trains, and mentors lawyers, other professionals, and professional firms to attract and win their ideal clients by becoming seen as authorities in their field, creating and maintaining successful and strategic relationships, and learning to SWITCH their relationships to referrals+revenue+results.

See more information: itzikamiel.com | THE SWITCH?? or connect with Itzik via: [email protected]

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