Building trust as a leadership strategy

??Leadership is an inside game that requires trust. ?

We need to work on our trust. Trust in ourselves. Trust in our leadership. Trust in our abilities. Trust of our team. Trust of individuals. Trust of their abilities. Trust that they will follow-through. And of course trust in our business, our products, our services and our image.

Marketing recognises the benefit of trust in a company... but trust in an organisation frequently seems to stop there.

Sadly, many people are seeing more deception and mistrust in the world today. While there may be an increase, there is no evidence to say that deception is really on the rise. What has increased is our inability to step away from work, as we live a blended life of working from home, being home, homeschooling, dealing with everything, ALL AT HOME.

We are turning into workaholics out of a feeling of necessity. We are busy because we don’t know what else to do. We are on social media and seeing all-the-opinions all-the-time that previously you'd only here down the pub.  

And this is spilling over into everything about our lives, from family, to hobbies (if you have any left during the days of COVID!) and of course, our leadership.

So let's talk about how to build trust.

To get started remember that the first place we need to shift our mindsets is in trusting ourselves. Leadership is an inside game. 

To be a great and inspiring leader, you need mindset and communication. Communication, which includes influence, presence, strategy and much more, is how you bring your leadership to the table. But mindset, mindset is WHAT you bring to the table. And if your current mindset is saying 'I don't trust myself or my abilities', you are limiting your abilities as a leader. 

When we don't have trust in ourselves, we second guess everything we do. We change our decisions, which builds an image of untrustworthiness in those around us. We pivot without obvious rational thought. We feel more threatened and the flight-or-fight approach kicks in. We have less time to listen to others. We push back on criticism. All because we don't trust ourselves. Sadly, this leads all too often to burnout. 

But this struggle isn't inevitable

It's time to actively work on trusting you first.

- Trust that you are doing good work. 

- Trust that you are doing enough. 

- Trust that you are doing the right thing. 

- Trust that you are able to make decisions without second-guessing. 

- Trust that you are good at what you do (remember - you *will* get less praise as you rise up in your career!). 

- Trust that you are a good mother, spouse, friend, worker, leader, volunteer. 

- Trust that you are a good person. 

- Trust that you are doing well.

- Trust that you’ve got this. 

(Side note: If you, or anyone you are managing is struggling with self-doubt, do please check out the Ditch Your Self Doubt free mini course: https://tonicollis.com/dtsd)

Once you've worked on you then it is time to build your trust in your team. 

Here are some simple steps to start building trust:

1. Challenge your assumptions and interpretations of actions and events. 

I challenge my clients and their interpretation all the time. There are always multiple explanations for everything. But what is clear is that this year is pushing more people past a line which means our assumptions are (1) more likely to be negative and (2) less easily challenged within us.

- Remember anger is often caused by insecurity.

- Remember that procrastination is often caused by impostor syndrome.

- Remember that lack of focus is caused by impostor syndrome, lack of clarity (that is on you as a leader to fix even if you think you've already made it clear 100 times), and lack of motivation.

- Remember that what motivates you won't necessarily motivate others. That is not a bad thing - but it does mean that you need to figure out how to help others get and stay motivated.

- Remember that sometimes someone is just having a bad day, and its nothing personal. 

2. Assume trust. 

Start turning up with the attitude of 'I trust my team, peers and organisation to deliver on their word'. When we do this you can immediately see an astonishing difference in terms of company culture, efforts and results. When we assume trust first, instead of assuming the worst, that breeds trust, builds buy-in, motivation and confidence. But you have to decide to assume trust, and not always be looking for where trust is being broken. This isn't about being blind to negative events and behaviours. And it does take practice, especially if we have been burnt before. But it is possible. 

3. Have true confidence that your team can and will deliver. 

This is the primary requirement for a culture of trust. This needs to be unshakable and unconditional. Your team is probably overworked. You are overworked. They are overwhelmed. You are overwhelmed. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't have confidence in them. If you are asking too much of them, then yes they won't be ABLE to deliver. That's on you, not on them. But if you know this is possible, believe that your team can and will deliver.  

4. Create a culture of healthy trust-based accountability.

Creating a culture of accountability doesn't start with excessive process.

Accountability is crucial, but it starts with trust and confidence in your team. Holding each out accountable because you are all in it together. 

5. Tackle conflict head on.

Unresolved conflicts breed negativity and damage trust. Avoiding difficult or challenging conversations, in fear of causing or amplifying conflict is doing more harm than you may think. Although those conversations are uncomfortable, they will be far worse if the issues are left unresolved. All unresolved conflict does is decrease motivation, increase gossip, damage morale, decrease performance and productivity, and leads to an increase in absenteeism. Difficult circumstances don't resolve themselves. Don't bury your head, tackle it head on.

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As you work on trust remember that to be an extraordinary leader, you first need to work on you. This isn't about learning more technical skills, getting another certification or reading books. You need to work on your unconscious behaviours, choices, and the automatic actions that dominate your behaviour.

AND you aren’t born with this skill set.

It's time to let go of this concept of a 'natural born leader'. Sure, some people like to 'step up' and 'lead', but that isn't leadership. That is feeling frustrated by a lack of direction and taking action.

Leadership is nurturing difficult conversations, honest truths, buy-in, resilience, building trust, and showing a path.

This doesn't just happen. You need to work on you first.

Find out more about the inside game you need to work on to step into true high-performance leadership at:

 https://tonicollis.com/episode17