Building Trust

One of the most common situations that my executive coaching clients find themselves in, is the one where they are starting a new job, and there is a fundamental need to build trust with the person who hired them, as well as with those that they are supposed to care for or lead, and to so as quickly as possible.

One of the main facts of growing in one’s career is that, as we mature and gain years of experience, “know-who” becomes more important than “know-how”. They may have hired you in the early stages because you got such-and-such technical degree from a prestigious university, or because you have this certification or the other. Later, it′s all about experience you have accumulated through your professional life. But as you develop further into a more senior professional, your ability to add value in an organization is not so much measured by the technical knowledge you bring. Rather, it is based on your ability to harness the power of the people, teams, and organizations that are within your remit: whether they report to you directly, indirectly, or not at all. Professional success is predicated increasingly more on your ability to form strong relationships with people of influence. Period.

Relationship Management, one of the four critical foundations of Emotional Intelligence is all about building, managing, growing and nurturing relationships. To do it optimally, it presupposes the other three pillars of emotional intelligence (self awareness, self-management and social awareness) are well in place. Relationship Management, at its best, is all about building trust.

But what exactly is trust?

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines it as “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.”?The Oxford dictionary has a similar definition: “firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.”

I think about trust largely on the basis of the key words mentioned above. Remember the acronym “CAAR”: Character, Ability, Authenticity (my proxy for “truth” in the definition above) and Reliance, and in that order. What do I mean?

Character: Building trust starts with your character, and how it’s perceived by others. How you, in your essence - your mental, ethical, behavioral qualities - are seen. Character is all about what is essential to the individual. Since trust is a two-way street, this perception is reciprocal. This is why we talk about the need to “feel the chemistry” that exists between you and the other individual (your boss, your team member, your peer…). What is that something that helps bind or bring you closer to the other individual? For instance, a common purpose, a similar way to see things, common set of values, etc.

Ability: Building trust will require you to show your abilities in practice - they hired you for a reason. One thing is to base your hiring on the recommendation of a head-hunter, a brilliant resume or career track record, but something else entirely is to be able to show that ability and competence in what could be an completely different context, organization, culture, team, country and environment than what your prior track record shows.

Authenticity: Trust is inherently tied to truth and authenticity. What you see is what you get. There is no guile or ill intent in your actions. Your word is your bond, and should be shown in your daily actions and behavior.

Reliance: Showing others that they can rely on you to accomplish something, and showing that consistently, is absolutely key. Consistency in the early stages is more important than how critical that something you’re trying to accomplish is. Show consistency in the small things, be reliable form the get-go, and then you will be trusted with the big things.

Trust also requires you to find your place in and understand your organization, its stakeholders, and what you will do in relationship to them, as soon as possible.

As a way to check if you are building trust with the right stakeholders in your new job, here are 10 questions that I’m suggesting for you to think about. The honest answers given can lead you to prioritize your next course of action:

TRUST: A SHORT SELF-DIAGNOSTIC TOOL

1. Do I have an understanding of the critical stakeholders in the organization that I need to build relationships with?
2. Have I been in sufficient “listening mode” in my early stages in this new role so I understand the organization well? In particular, do I understand the organization’s culture and values, and how my personal values and natural way of working fits with them?
3. Am I communicating frequently enough, with sufficient transparency and effectiveness across my stakeholders, especially my line manager and my direct reports? If not, what can I do to build planned interactions into my agenda so I do not leave it up to chance?
4. Have I built personal relationships with individuals in the relevant stakeholder groups of the organization? How would I characterize the depth of those relationships, and other things I can do to strengthen them? Have I shown genuine interest in others?
5. Am I consistent in matching what I think, what I say and what I do?
6. Am I managing expectations the right way? Do I promise more than I can deliver?
7. Am I demonstrating competence and making informed decisions? Am I leveraging my skills and expertise to make decisions that inspire confidence in my leadership?
8. Am I open to feedback and multiple points of view, acknowledging and learning from mistakes? Have I been respectful of others, especially showing it in the early stages of relationship building?
9. Do I empower and trust my team with responsibilities, encouraging their growth, autonomy and accountability?
10. Does my team trust me to advocate for their needs, both within and outside the organization?

Use this checklist to reflect on your behaviors as a leader, especially towards your superiors in the chain of command, as well as towards your direct reports.

Trust can take long to build, but can be destroyed in an instant. It’s like planting a tree which needs to be nurtured and cared for. The tree grows and gets stronger, like trust, until one day a single storm can uproot it overnight. The checks above can help you get your “tree” to grow deeper roots, ensuring it withstands the strongest winds and storms.