Building Stonewater: A Q&A with My Co-Founder (and Brother!) Bryan Fikes

At Stonewater, my Co-Founder and brother Bryan and I have always been driven by one guiding mission: To give parents their children back, better. From the very beginning, we knew that would mean building a safe, nurturing environment, pulling together a team of incredible professionals, and so much more. Almost eight years in, I interviewed Bryan to reflect on how far we've come, what we’ve learned, and — most importantly! — where we’re headed. It’s a journey that has not only shaped the way we work together as siblings; but also, how we’ve built a treatment program that we’re proud of.?

Elizabeth: Does the Stonewater of today match the dream you had when we started? How is it alike, or different???

Bryan: I always envisioned this venture as something we’d do as a family, a way to spend more time together, and that has come true! Beyond that, there have been some surprises.

First, Stonewater is much smaller than we originally envisioned, with a more boutique approach that allows us to treat kids from across the country on a single campus. Initially, I thought we’d need multiple campuses to achieve that kind of national reach. We’ve become a national authority sooner than I anticipated. I’m proud of how we’ve built and maintained a gold standard of care even as we’ve grown.

Overall, I knew I would be passionate about this work, but I had no idea how difficult it would be. Before we started, someone told me it would be the hardest thing we’d ever do, and I thought that was an exaggeration … it wasn’t! I also didn’t realize how critical staff development and creating tenure would be, nor did I expect how much intention and effort that would require. Today, I’m proud to say that we have a stellar team of individuals who are just as dedicated and passionate as you and I are.

E: What were your expectations for us working together as siblings, and how has it been alike or different???

B: To be honest, I didn’t think much about what working together as siblings would be like. As we were making the decision, I felt secure knowing I could trust you in terms of integrity, brand development, and our shared values about what makes an organization successful. I believed that — because of our closeness — we could address any challenges that came our way, so I didn’t dwell on it. I didn’t foresee how challenging it can be to work with a sibling, or that there would be times when we disagreed and needed to navigate those moments. Thankfully, we agree on having one ultimate decision-maker, though that can be difficult at times. (I also never anticipated how much accountability we’d need to hold each other to, or how often we’d say “I told you so!”)?

What I didn’t expect was how collaborative we would become. I imagined us working in more siloed roles, but instead, we’ve collaborated on far more projects than I thought we would, and it has been a positive experience.?

E: What tips would you share with someone working in a family business???

B: For most families, I would advise not to do it! What makes it work for us is how much we trust each other and how aligned we are in our vision. We have an unbreakable bond, and while the company is important, we’ve always been able to see that the company’s success depends on the strength of our relationship. I would expect that many siblings aren’t as close as we are - too, a key contributor for us is that my treatment experience taught us how to communicate effectively and be transparent with one another. We’ve learned to process things in a healthy way, to avoid letting resentments build, and to pick up on non-verbal cues. This helps us identify and address issues quickly. Many families haven’t had to develop those skills, so I’d say the safer option might be to avoid working together altogether.

E: What is my best quality as a leader?

B: You have a genuine desire to build relationships with people, and unless they give you a reason not to, you focus on fostering that connection. In doing so, you become an encourager and advocate for them, and I’ve experienced that firsthand. You make me feel valued, special, and unique because you truly believe it. You make people feel special in an authentic way, which creates buy-in. People want to follow you, impress you, and be reliable because they know how much you care. Additionally, you’re fun to be around! That helps with retention; people want to stay with you as a leader. You don’t compromise your commitment to integrity or quality in that process either. You have a clear vision of how things should be done and hold people to that, even when others might struggle to balance relationships and quality.

E: What qualities do I need to work on???

B: In terms of accountability, you could be more intentional about creating systems that visibly demonstrate accountability to the team. While you communicate expectations effectively, there’s an opportunity to design tools that make it easier for others to observe and understand how accountability is implemented. Using your intellect and appreciation of accountability, you could develop systems that make it simpler for others to follow through.

E: What leadership lessons have you learned from me???

B: One of the most important lessons I’ve learned from you is the value of investing in genuine relationships. Throughout my leadership journey, I didn’t always prioritize taking extra time to connect personally with others. I’ve always thought in terms of scale, and building genuine relationships across an entire organization didn’t feel scalable to me. However, as I’ve embraced this approach, I’ve learned that leadership should always include the willingness to form those connections. You’ve also taught me the importance of team-building and how appreciated those efforts are. Another lesson is the value of presenting material with intentionality. Energy, positivity, or humility can make a difference in how ideas are received. You’ve also shown me the importance of flexibility, particularly in evaluating people. Sometimes there’s real value in a “bend, don’t break” approach.

E: What has been the most pivotal or instrumental decision we made at the company???

B: One of the most significant decisions we made was choosing to be a God-centered organization, which impacts how we incorporate integrity and values into our work. Looking back, we can feel good about the choices we’ve made, and we’ll never know what challenges we may have avoided because of those values. Another pivotal decision was choosing to operate in Oxford, a renowned and growing university town. If we had chosen a more rural location, travel accommodations and staffing would have been much more difficult. And Ole Miss, the University of Mississippi, has been a tremendous resource. At the time we were choosing the location, we didn’t realize how impactful that decision would be.

E: What’s your favorite process or functionality that we implemented for organizational health???

B: One of my favorite implementations has been the adoption of Patrick Lencioni’s principles from The Advantage and our establishment of Vision, Mission, and Values. We’ve built a comprehensive set of tools and resources that incorporate these principles into everything, from onboarding to building tenure, to departures.

E: What is one of your favorite Stonewater memories???

B: I have several favorite memories, including learning the name of our first resident, which was incredibly meaningful to me because of a dear friend I had in my treatment journey. I also fondly remember our Open House with our family, knowing my wife was expecting our first child. It felt like everything was becoming real, and we were embarking on this journey together. Other standout moments include riding around campus during our “Tough Studder” events with a megaphone, cheering on the guys, and our Christmas parties with the team, feeling honored and grateful for everyone’s hard work as we close out the year.

E: If you could tell everyone in the treatment industry one thing, what would it be???

B: I would say that there is tremendous value in fostering relationships within the industry, even though it can sometimes feel inconvenient. It’s worth investing time and resources into building those connections because you will need a sounding board outside of your usual counsel. When those people you call know and care about you and your family (because you have spent time building the relationship), those calls are different. Another piece of advice is to quickly identify what makes your organization unique and leverage that. Early on, I looked at the size of large organizations as a strength, but I’ve come to realize that it can also be a weakness. It’s important to take advantage of your strengths as an organization, and these strengths will shift over time.

E: Where do you see Stonewater in three years???

B: In three years, I see us preserving what makes us unique—remaining culture-driven—while also growing and increasing our ability to treat more and more families!