Building Roadblocks

One of the most surprising habits I've picked up over the past year or so as I've explored founder life is questioning every assumption I had about who I am.

And the realization that follows – that reality is not a solid wall. Reality is malleable, like clay. Able to bend and be shaped into another form with your hands.

I realized that most of the assumptions I had about who I am, and who I am not, and what I can or cannot do, are not real. They are roadblocks I myself have created in my mind.

Maybe you don't know - let me share with you just in case - YOU are allowed to own a corporation. It's true. You can go on the secretary of state website and click "register a business" and in about 10 minutes you can own a corporation. There is no exam, or test you need to pass. No committee that needs to approve you. You don't even need a lawyer. But I bet you that for most people, this choice to start a company seems completely and utterly out of reach. It did for me.

I did not have "person who starts company" or "person who owns a corporation" in my list of identity markers. I tried it on for size, and it felt (and still feels) uncomfortable. But even more strange was the fact that his huge wall of Starting A Company that I had put up - this huge, scary, brick wall in my mind - was not solid at all.

On a daily basis, I still have these moments when I am overwhelmed.

I look up into the distance of All The Things and I see The Vision - a tiny speck on the horizon, and I think... how in the WORLD are we EVER going to get there.

And I get to work building some walls.

Sometimes, I allow those moments to happen. Sometimes, I still linger in them too long. But more and more I've realized that all those feelings are also not solid reality – they are more like waves on the surface of the ocean.

Sometimes I take a deep breath and sink into the depth below.

There, in the silence, I can reflect – are these things true? Do I have to engage with these emotions? Can I simply observe them with curiosity? Will they pass?

That is not to say that feelings are not valid – they are completely valid and it is healthy to experience them. But holding on to them too long, letting them solidify in your mind as roadblocks to moving forward – that is, I think, unhealthy.

No one can tell you what you can or cannot do.

I think there is some comfort in setting your own limitations. Some familiarity in building some walls and sitting in them, comfortable and safe. And there is nothing wrong with that, if you are happy that way.

But if you are not - those walls stand in your way. And in my experience, the first step in breaking them down is to simply realize that they do not actually exist in the first place. You created them, and you can take them down.

You can karate chop them out of your own way.

And once you knock down one wall, it becomes easier to see the others, and it almost becomes fun to test them – how solid are they? How long have you been building them, higher and higher in your mind?

And sure - particular walls might be easier than others to knock down. But all walls can be pushed, and eventually - they will shift.

I am a rule follower. I love predictability, when things work the way they are supposed to. But every success story I have ever heard starts with something along the lines of "it was a long and unusual journey, with ups and downs and lots of random turns".

My theory is that doing things "the wrong" way actually makes you more creative, more driven, enables you to think outside the box.

So I've been working on letting go of some of my walls - the roadblocks I have built for myself on who I am and what I can do. The journey is hard enough, without us stopping along the way to make things even more difficult for ourselves.

So I ask you – what walls have you built for yourself?

If karate chopping seems like too much, maybe a first step is just realizing that the walls are there, and becoming aware of little moments in life when you subconsciously adding a brick.

And maybe – chose not to.

Let me know how it goes :)

?? If you're an early stage founder, know that you are not alone. If you know an early stage founder - reach out to them. Let's support each other as we build the future together. Let's not go alone.