Building Relationships Without an Agenda

In the early nineteenth century, the French bohemians coined a popu- lar phrase, “l’art pour l’art,” which is commonly translated into English as “art for art’s sake.” They used this slogan in defiance of those who claimed that art should have a purpose, such as conveying some moral lesson. Art is valuable for itself, they retaliated. It does not need to carry a message to justify its existence.

As a professional graphic designer with bills to pay, I can’t claim to have had the luxury of being an “art for art’s sake” kind of artist during my commercial career, although I certainly was familiar with the axiom during my college days. I had created such masterpieces as “The Three Maps of Combustion,” a triptych made by the burning of carpet with a blowtorch and other incendiaries—yes, I almost left this earth too early for my art. However, the spirit of that old slogan is something I’ve always appreciated, and I’ve found it to be very applicable when it comes to the art of building relationships.

There are many experts out there who will teach you about how to build business relationships for the sake of achieving specific outcomes—making sales, getting referrals, establishing influence, and so on. They will offer you step-by-step formulas and detailed strategies for making your connections count. They will show you how to measure the effectiveness of your com- munication skills and improve your success rates.

Here’s the problem I see with that approach: People are not a commodity. Too many salespeople treat their “prospects” as just a few more notches on their gun belts, and this is a big part of what gives sales a bad rap. They are focused on the end result, the outcome—the close. What if you approached “sales” from a people-focused, heart-centered standpoint? What if you created relationships for no other reason than to help others and make new friends?

I’ve always been fond of wordplay and double entendres, and while writing about the idea of “art for art’s sake” as it applies to building relationships, it occurred to me that “Art” is also a name. Do I have a relationship with anyone named Art? I wondered. I scanned my mental Rolodex (yes, I’m old enough that I have one of those), but no one came to mind. Well, I’m writing a book about connecting with strangers, I thought, so why not put it into practice. As a personal challenge, I set out to create a relationship with a stranger named Art, for no other reason than the fact that his name is Art, and see where it would lead me. No matter what the outcome, I decided, I’ll share the story in the book.Therefore, I’m creating a story (art) for the sake of the book (art for art’s sake).

I searched the Internet for a stranger named Art and stumbled across the LinkedIn page of a gentleman named Art Flater. He is the president and owner of Central 3D Systems, a 3D printer reseller. I was attracted to his page because of his very funny profile and the fact that he is in sales himself, so I figured he might be open to a totally cold call from a stranger with a quirky anti-agenda. So I picked up the phone and dialed Art.

I introduced myself and explained why I was calling. Art was intrigued, and we ended up chatting for almost an hour. I now have a new friend who plans on “me buying him” a drink when he next visits California. He is now also aware of my talents and service, so perhaps he’ll become a client. Either way, it was a great connection, and I’m not concerned about the results.

I know what you are thinking: How can it not be about the results when it comes to business? I’ve got a family to feed! I can’t afford to play around making random friends and cold-calling strangers I found on the Internet just to chat. I’ve got sales quotas to meet and bills to pay. I understand how you feel. I too have to deal with the day-to-day demands of making a living, and I’m not saying the bottom line is unimportant. What I’m saying is that if you let go of this burden while you are creating relationships, you will find that the health of your bottom line will improve!

There are times when an agenda is necessary, such as in cold-calling (see Part 6). But in my opinion, when done correctly, the heart and soul of great, long-term sales is creating ongoing relationships for their own sake. It’s about building connections that can evolve, mature, grow in trust, and reciprocate. When you create relationships without immediately trying to engineer a specific outcome, you invest in the future growth of your business by expanding your greatest asset—your circle of connections. You may not be able to immediately calculate the results of your efforts or put them in a balance sheet, but trust me, over time you will see the impact in measurable terms. The greatest salespeople are those who love people—who enjoy meeting and getting to know strangers from all walks of life. And if you don’t feel like you’re one of those yet, the good news is that it can be learned! Let’s get started...

FUN FACT

Ironically, the phrase “art for art’s sake” is sometimes used commercially. The movie studio Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer uses a Latin version of the phrase, ars gratia artis, as a motto—you can see it in the circle around the roaring head of Leo the Lion in their logo. I wonder if the well-compensated studio executives realize what the message in their motto means?

From: Growing Your Business Can be as Fun & Easy as... Giving Candy to Strangers, Tips for Creating Abundance through Heart-Centered Sales

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