Building Relationships as an Introvert

"You don’t need to be an extrovert to build relationships."

Last week at the Tampa Bay Synapse Innovation Summit’s after party, there was a few people were telling me, “Shelomo you are an outgoing and natural born extrovert.”

I laughed. People see me at events as an outgoing person, and people see me giving speeches like it is no big deal. No one knows the high school and college Shelomo. When you used to put me in a room filled with strangers, I would hide in my corner. 

I remember in college when going to these different events; I asked my friends “What do I say to people at these events?” I had no clue how to socialize. Naturally, I am a super quiet person. I had to work on becoming more outgoing. It was a lot of work, and I had to face my fear of what other people thought of me at these events.

How did I become more social? I have been out of college for almost five years. After I did door-to-door sales, traveled the country for different trade shows, held several leadership positions, and gave over a hundred presentations, I was still in my shell.

The past year got me out of that shell. I went to a minimum of two networking events a week to spread the name of LeapCaller since it was a brand-new product my startup created. I met a lot of people in the Tampa area. Not many people knew who I was, it forced me to make a name for myself.

So what is the secret sauce?............. There is no secret sauce. 

Go out there and approach people. I have the 3-second rule. The first three seconds I see someone, I walk up to them and say hi. In the beginning, don’t worry about being good at making conversation. 

Meeting different people can have many benefits. New relationships mean an increase in opportunities for employment, your business, and can lead to new friends.

• First Step: Approach as many people as possible until you don’t have butterflies in your stomach. 
• Second Step: Don’t make the conversations all about you. Listening is key. Talk about both your personal life and business. Try to find some commonalities with the person so every time you see them, your conversations will be more comfortable.
• Third Step: Do, say, or wear something unique where people will remember you. You need to stand out from the thousands of people. I recently started carrying a selfie stick everywhere I go. Now, most people remember me as the guy who brings a selfie stick.  

Follow these three steps for a whole year, and I guarantee that people will see you as an extrovert even though you may be naturally shy. Remember, you can’t build a strong relationship with everyone and that’s ok. Don’t beat yourself over a lousy conversation. 

Best of luck on your journey in building more meaningful relationships.