Building Rapport: Setting the Foundation to Influence Others

Cultivating a relationship with someone you need to influence will make reaching an agreement that much easier.

This process is also known as building rapport. As with any person-to-person relationship, connection means minimizing differences and maximizing your similarities.

This may happen in verbal communication as well as in nonverbal communication, for instance, through the use of mirroring, whereby you observe your counterpart’s body language, speech, and behavior and mimic it in order to appear more similar.

Active and empathic listening are also key skills in developing a relationship or rapport. Seek to understand the positions of the other side without judgment, and you may find yourselves working together to solve a problem and create value.

Especially in the initial stages of building rapport, being over present may hurt your chances to build a meaningful relationship.

An easy way to avoid this, as used in FBI training, is by establishing artificial time constraints: “I’m on my way out to beat the traffic but before I left I wanted to ask you how you went this afternoon with…” It allows the other party to recognize your interest but also communicates an informal and easy response that can encourage a continuation of the topic at a later time.Finding common interests is also a common strategy as well as making effective compliments or even flattery.

These strategies are often used by salespersons, to connect with the other party.

An extension of this is by asking for a small, non-threatening piece of advice, as human beings we are conditioned to make adjustments to help others.

Finally, reiterate your commitment toward a win-win resolution. This fosters trust between you and your counterpart, which contributes toward a functional, fruitful relationship.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

High-Performance Negotiation & Influencing