Building a personal support network

Do you feel isolated in your NGO role? It’s a common feeling for leaders running charities and community groups, particularly when operating with very limited resources. Your organisation likely has no structures in place to support you. This can lead to feeling alone in the hugely complex and increasing challenges you are meeting. Let’s face it — you can’t do all the things on your own. Have you focussed on building your personal support network?

It’s awesome to have family and friends around us, but the necessity of getting support from people who truly understand our roles as NGO leaders is so important. Over the years of leading NGOs, I’ve gained heaps of knowledge and expertise from my NGO peers. They so clearly and quickly understand what my current challenges are. It’s like having a shorthand conversation. They offer a listening ear and are absolute fonts of knowledge and advice. They understand me and quickly get to grips with what I’m handling.

As leaders, we can’t rely on internal support from our board members or staff. Sometimes, the issues and problems we want to discuss directly relate to those people. We need trusted and confidential support networks to help us sort through and reflect on the complex decision-making we are required to do. We also need others we can reach out to for the simple things—a template, a quick run-through on a planned approach, or checking if they recommend someone.

Here is how I’ve built my support network as an NGO leader:

Friends who understand the life of an NGO leader

The start of my support network has always been friends who have led NGOs themselves or directly worked in and with charities. Over the years, besides my partner, they have been my first port of call when times have become tough. They have kept me in roles when it seemed impossible to overcome so many barriers ahead of me. I have been incredibly blessed to have their wisdom, passion, and advice when needed.

Regular scheduled catch-ups help, as no one has to set things up. I 'walk' on Tuesday mornings with a friend who lives at the other end of the island - we walk and talk in our respective locations. I have a monthly dinner with a friend, which is always something to look forward to on the calendar. I often pick up the phone or send a text or have an impromptu coffee/lunch date when needing or offering support. Sometimes, it's just to connect heart-to-heart with someone on the same wavelength, often sharing the same challenges, and not to feel so alone.

An NGO leader support network

A friend and I started a wider NGO leader network 5 years ago. It began with just two of us, and then we each invited another person. The four of us met for lunch once a month but quickly realised we needed extended time and relaxation together. We began scheduling a monthly catch-up, 4pm on a Thursday, at the same place. Everyone pays for themselves. Our group has 8 NGO women leaders. There’s usually a solid 4-5 people each month. They come for ? an hour or come for 2 hours. There’s absolutely no pressure.

As well as our monthly calendar invite, we have a Whatsapp group for more regular kōrero.

One-on-one coaching

I’ve had both group and one-on-one professional coaching. It took quite a lot of effort to get internal support to pay for professional coaching when I was running an NGO. Business and government leaders have budgets for professional leadership training and coaching. Why don’t NGOs get the same? I don’t want to hear the excuse of small budgets. This should be a priority for all NGO budgets. The leader is the pivot point for the whole organisation and needs support.

Having my own personal coach was awesome when I was running an NGO. He provided a very fresh voice in my head and asked questions no one else was asking me. That made me think hard about what I was doing, how I handled things, and what action I would take next. My coach was also there through one of my hardest times as an NGO leader, which was invaluable. I connected with him through the Business Mentor Programme . Did you know they also support NGO leaders (or 'charity SMEs' as I like to call our community organisations)?

A small group of different thinkers

In the first lockdown in 2020, as we were all isolated at home, a friend brought together a group of 4 of us to connect. Four years later, we’re still together! We have a weekly 4pm Friday kōrero about what’s on our mind. Sometimes it’s 2 of us, sometimes all of us. We’ve also managed some very enjoyable weekends away. One of us is from business, philanthropy, and government, and I’m the NGO person. We think differently, and we are alike in other ways. We’ve had some enjoyable rants about injustice, a common theme in our shared values systems!

Alongside our Friday calendar invite (we all live in different places), we have a Slack channel for regular updates and offloads.

My coaching cohort

Last year, as I was doing my coaching training with nine others, we formed a bond that has continued. We now meet online every month and value the opportunity to connect. We all work in different industries and come from different backgrounds, but we share the same values and are on our own coaching journeys. Although we’re not all NGO leaders, we get the richness of sharing challenges (and, therefore, solutions!) across different industries. Expanding my network more broadly and finding so many similarities has been refreshing.

We already have our monthly catch-ups on our calendars.

Building your own support network

Do you need to expand your own personal support network? A great starting point is with people you already know and are within your existing sphere. Email them and suggest you meet up for an initial coffee. Ask them to bring in others so you don’t have to do all the mahi / work yourself.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to new people you don’t know but are doing a similar job. I’ve seen this happen successfully, and people are excited to build new networks with like-minded leaders. Pulling people into a Zoom hui to explore setting up a new support network is not complicated.

Small groups of 4-8 people work best for support networks where you can get to know each other and build a high-trust environment. Also, challenge yourself to invite people who look, sound, and think differently from you. It’s an added bonus to build bridges and understand different world-views while supporting each other.

Happy networking!

Rochelle x

Missed my previous articles in this series?

Getting out of the cortisol 'high'

Why going for a walk matters

Give yourself the gift of sleep

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