Building a Network That Matters: Practicing Reciprocity.

I’ve always been an avid social professional networker and have been in industries where networking was part of the culture. For me, it began with keeping my contacts and connections in order. Now, it is much more than that. I know very well that not everyone is in a personal or professional situation where networking is integral, but I do know there are smarter and more effective ways in which we can do so. One of those ways is by practicing reciprocity.

When you meet someone, perhaps your first reaction is to ask them a series of questions that explains their motives for being at say, a networking event. Unfortunately, society has taught us to kick off this series of questions by a rather blunt, cold, and anti-personal question, “What do you do?” This seems like an honest question, but to most, it is an intrusion and has no tact in execution. Have you ever thought of what it would feel like if you were unemployed or between opportunities and someone asked you in front of others what you do for a living? For those in transition, it makes for a rather uncomfortable situation. A better way to break the ice would be to ask,

“What brings you to this event and how long have you been involved with the organization?”

This has everything to do with the first ingredient in our recipe for practicing reciprocity: asking tactical questions and being genuinely interested in the betterment of someone. By asking tactical questions, we learn what motivated the individual to join the group or organization and how we can perhaps be of value.

Our second ingredient is truly understanding what that other person needs. When you attend an event and engage in a conversation, you are unofficially telling people you’re there for a solid reason. Those reasons are typical: To support someone or something, to learn, or to make new professional connections. Power networkers have the ability to engage with people, understand that person’s needs, and deliver value/resource every single time.

You’re probably wondering, “How can I deliver every single time?” In most cases, if you don’t have the insight or valuable information that person may need, you know who does and how to connect with them.

Our third ingredient is taking consistent action by delivering value. Now that you’ve connected with someone and understood what could be defined as valuable information to them, it’s time to start taking action. Say you meet someone who has worked in a particular industry for some time and is now looking to move into a position where their true passion lies, say event marketing. I have met many people that are finally looking to make a change in careers. For some, doing what they love isn't necessarily backed by the college degree they earned. Now that you’ve learned that this person is looking to make a career move, you should immediately start thinking of people you know who are in events, marketing, activations, and planning. Not only will you think of who to connect them with, but also what to connect them to. Blogs, articles, social pages, and companies are just some of the ways you can brainstorm on how to bring value to this person.

The Law of Reciprocity is all about a mutual interchange of favors. The person taking action should never expect an immediate return from someone. You have to understand that not every action you take will be reciprocated. That is ok. When you truly understand how to deliver value to someone, you will start to see that all it could take is a few moments a day to pass on that article or connection. These days, technology makes practicing reciprocity so much easier. Practicing reciprocity helps us help each other. Being a great resource or connector makes people gravitate to you because they know you are genuinely interested in their betterment. People will want to help you because they see you helping others. You will begin to notice that you are being asked for opinions, advice, and presence at places of thought leadership. By giving to others, it helps them achieve success. Suffice to say, that is what makes the world go round.

This article was first featured in Latina Executive Magazine published by Yesi Morillo Gual