Building Independence in Kids: Why Hard Work Starts at Home

Lately, I’ve had many conversations with friends about raising kids and preparing them for the real world. As parents, we’ve all faced challenges along the way. One of the concerns we share is how many young people entering the workforce today lack basic knowledge of workplace behavior and company expectations. Simple things, like understanding the importance of being on time, seem to be overlooked.

A recent experience with my son highlighted this for me. While attending college full-time, he took on a seasonal job at a pizza place. Before that, he applied for a seasonal position at the Gaylord Texan Resort. He was the first to show up for the interview, and with over 1,800 applicants, that made an impression. When he introduced himself, the hiring manager immediately told him he had the job. Surprised, my son asked why, especially since the interview hadn’t even started. The manager explained that showing up 30 minutes early demonstrated discipline and reliability.

This moment reinforced a lesson I learned from my own parents and have passed down to my kids: being on time means you’re already late. I’ve emphasized this since they were little, and now they can’t imagine being late for work without feeling guilty.

Another critical lesson that seems to be missing today is the value of earning things as a child. Kids who grow up with everything handed to them often find the transition to adulthood difficult. When I was young, my dad, an auto instructor and mechanic, ran a small shop with two employees. His garage was meticulously organized, and every tool had its place. If I wanted candy or ice cream, my dad gave me the opportunity to earn money by cleaning the tools and returning them to their proper spots after the workday ended.

At times, I tried to take shortcuts to finish quickly and join my friends. My dad always noticed and calmly sat me down to talk. He never yelled; instead, he would ask questions, helping me reflect on my actions and figure out how to do better next time. I sometimes envied my friends whose dads just yelled or spanked them and let them go. But looking back, I realize those conversations shaped my work ethic and sense of responsibility.

These experiences influenced how my wife and I raised our children. We taught them that nothing in life is free. By instilling a sense of independence, we helped them avoid the shock of adulthood. As a result, both of my sons secured their first jobs at 14 and eventually paid for college without relying on loans. They understood the value of money because they earned it themselves. I remember times when they would pick up snacks without thinking twice when I was paying. But once they started making their own money, they hesitated. Suddenly, that expensive bag of chips wasn’t worth the hard-earned cash.

Not everyone agrees with our approach. Some friends and family believe in supporting their kids financially until adulthood, but I’ve seen how that can lead to dependency. Our philosophy is rooted in preparing our kids for the reality that we won’t always be around. I often reminded them that only God knows how long we’ll be here, and our job is to ensure they can stand on their own.

Today, my kids pursue careers they’re passionate about while balancing work, savings, and school. They live at home for free, but only if they maintain good grades and stay employed. If their grades slip, I charge them rent—a rule they know I’m serious about.

Many of my friends worry because their adult children struggle to find jobs or spend time chasing influencer dreams on social media. While ambition is good, I believe that many young people misunderstand the effort required to achieve success. They apply for hundreds of jobs, expecting instant results, only to face rejection and discouragement.

A college degree is valuable, but schools and parents often fail to explain that entry-level work is part of the journey. Many jobs start at the bottom, and climbing the ladder takes time and perseverance.

Religious institutions and community centers can play a significant role in bridging these gaps by offering free workshops on budgeting, career planning, and leadership. Unfortunately, I’ve noticed that even these organizations sometimes prioritize donations and expansions over youth development. In Dallas, I know of large community centers that frequently ask for donations but rarely discuss youth programs.

Technology also poses challenges. It distracts and isolates families, limiting meaningful conversations. The next time you’re at a restaurant, take a moment to observe families glued to their phones instead of engaging with each other. This behavior affects how young people develop socially and professionally.

The disconnect between technology, education, and life skills is contributing to workforce shortages. Some young people feel entitled to their dream job without putting in the necessary work, leading to frustration and depression.

By addressing these issues, we can help the next generation thrive. It starts with small, intentional actions at home and in our communities. I share these reflections not to criticize but to inspire others to consider how we can collectively guide and support our youth. After all, we all need someone to lean on, and our shared experiences can shape a better future.

Written by: Alen Ganic

Date: 12/31/2024