Building a House Helped Me Rebuild Myself

Embarking on the journey of building a house is no small feat. It’s a process that demands planning, resilience, and a willingness to embrace the unknown. When I decided to take a sabbatical to build a house, I thought I would be merely constructing walls and a roof. Little did I know, I was embarking on a parallel journey of personal reconstruction, one that would profoundly reshape how I viewed myself and my life.

The Blueprint of Self-Discovery

Every house begins with a blueprint, a detailed set of plans of what will eventually be constructed. For me, this blueprint wasn’t just about walls and floors. It was about examining the foundations of my own life. What values did I want my home to represent? How would the spaces within reflect not only my lifestyle but also the person I am and the person I am becoming?

The act of drafting the plans forced me to reflect deeply on my priorities. I realized I craved simplicity and functionality—not just in my home, but also in how I approached life. Much like the minimalist design we envisioned for the house, I began to strip away unnecessary complexities and focus on what truly mattered.

Learning to Embrace Change

Building a house is a process rife with changes and surprises. From unexpected delays to budget adjustments, it requires constant adaptability. As someone who thrived on predictability, I found these disruptions unsettling at first. But slowly, I learned to let go of the need to control every outcome.

When we learned our basement concrete forms were backordered for over a month, we could have abandoned our ideal design system. Instead, we chose to see it as an opportunity to explore alternative solutions (and we found a great new vendor with an even better form design). This mindset shift began to permeate other areas of my life. I started embracing challenges as chances to grow rather than setbacks to fear.

Crafting Resilience One Block at a Time

Laying the foundation of a house is a physically and emotionally demanding process. It’s the point at which dreams start to take tangible form. For me, every ICF block placed and each concrete pour completed symbolized a lesson in resilience. There were days when progress felt painfully slow, when setbacks tested my patience and resolve. But with each obstacle overcome and each project milestone met, I found myself growing stronger, more resourceful, and more confident.

This newfound resilience began to extend beyond the construction site. I approached personal and professional challenges with a renewed sense of determination, often reflecting on the metaphor of building a strong foundation in life, just as I had done during the build process.

Creating Space for Reflection and Connection

A house isn’t just a physical structure; it’s a space where life unfolds. As I watched the rooms take shape, I began to think about how I could design not just for aesthetics but for meaningful connections. Where would friends and family gather? How could I design spaces for creative work and quiet places for introspection?

In doing so, I rediscovered the importance of balancing outward relationships with inward reflection. I started making more intentional choices about how I spent my time and with whom, ensuring my personal "spaces" were as thoughtfully curated as the ones in my home.

The Reward of Building—Inside and Out

The house is not yet complete. We are “dried in” and able to work on the inside during the cold Winter months. We just completed hanging the drywall and will soon move to painting, flooring, and installing cabinets. Spring will come (eventually), and we will return to working on the outside, installing siding and creating porches and sidewalks, driveways and gardens.

I am confident, however, that when the house is finally complete, I will stand at the threshold and realize a dream completed. I will know that I have built far more than a home. I have rebuilt myself. The person who started this project was battered by life and broken by job loss. The person I am now is resilient, adaptable, and deeply connected to what truly matters.

Building a house has taught me lessons that no self-help book or seminar ever could. It showed me the power of perseverance, the beauty of imperfection, and the value of creating spaces—both physical and emotional—that reflect who we are and who we want to become.

So, while our house stands as a testament to hard work and vision, it’s the transformation within me that truly makes it home.

My Next Step

I will soon be returning to work. I have accepted a consultant role with a company I have long respected. While I transition from full time home builder to full time building leaders, I will forever be grateful for the space and grace to take time to build a home and time to rebuild me.